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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Three Shots © 2003 dawg, BMI
Three shots left in this bottle; one shot left in my gun. No point in wastin' the whiskey when I use the other one. Done fortified my remainin' pride and I got no place to run. Three shots left in this bottle; an' one shot left in my gun.
It ain't that I'm a coward, I've had my share of pain. I've outlived my wife and kids; and just one friend remains..
I want to make it quick and clean; tipped the kid to mop the floor. Got two more rounds to swallow down, then I'll pull my forty-four.
Two shots left in this bottle; one shot left in my gun. No point in wastin' the whiskey when I use the other one. Done fortified my remainin' pride and I got no place to run. Two shots left in this bottle; an' one shot left in my gun.
Doctor said, there ain't no cure but it could drag out a year. All that pain would drive me insane, and that's the part I fear.
I made a plan, to rise and stand and meet death at his door. I got one more round to swallow down, then I'll use my forty-four.
One shot left in this bottle; one shot left in my gun. No point in wastin' good whiskey when I use the other one. Done fortified my remainin' pride and I got no place to run. One shot left in this bottle; an' one shot left in my gun.
Time to go, the marker's carved; on a real nice, cedar post. So tip your hat and raise your glass and offer one last toast.
Doc came in the door just now, his face in a mournful frown. Told him, doc, this is my last shot, then I'll go put that ol' dog down.
One shot left in this bottle; one shot left in my gun. No point in wastin' good whiskey when I use the other one. Done fortified my remainin' pride and I got no place to run. One shot left in this bottle; an' one shot left in my gun.
[This message has been edited by greydog (edited 09-04-2003).]
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
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Nice little twist a rooni there Dawg. I liked it alot...fun read and i liked the chorus. My only tiny suggestion is:
until only one remains (and now) only one remains
Very nicely done.
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Dawg!
This was chilling! "Fortified my remaining pride" made me think of suicide! The twist at the end was a relief! But, still left me sad.
One question comes to mind. How would pride enter into his decision to put the dog down? Seems he's trying to build up courage or resolve. Just wondering.
Great song for Johnny Cash, in his heyday.
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I'm a fan. Didn't see the twist coming, which was a relief both for the subject matter and the unexpectedness. Nice work. I'm sure you could tighten up a few spots here and there, but I'm not about to start picking this one apart. Write on.
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Thank you Blake,
I like that better, too. In fact I already made the change.
Thanks for the read and the good suggestion, bro.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
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Chilling Dawg, but.........lookout, here comes the fly in the ointment. Was surprised to read the first comment from Blake...and then from the rest. cuz I didn't see the twist coming, and in fact, didn't SEE the twist. Especially with you being "the dawg", having a line there at the end saying.... "then I'll go put that ol' dog down" was not clear in it's meaning to me.I assumed you were still talking about the guy committing suicide. And not sure the line about not wasting the whiskey works if he's going to be around after the shot is fired. You've done a great job of leading the reader down the garden path....just didn't convince me in the end that it was really a sidewalk. ------------------ Harriet http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/harrietamesmusic.htm
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Evenin' Songbird,
and thank you kindly, sweet lady.
He has the small scrap of pride that it is his dog and he is doing the deed himself, with love and forethought, not just leaving it to the vet.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
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Mornin' Dawg I'm going to steal Songbird's word.. CHILLING! Real Good! I never saw the twist coming... as a matter of fact... I'm with Harriet... I didn't see the twist.. I had to read a couple of times... but thats just cause you're "dawg" and I thought you were talking about YOU!.. Once I got it.. I said, "that's cool"... and I'm glad he was't killing himself!! Great writing dawg (not to be confused with dog ) Joanne
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Dawg, Well done, except--one nit. It appears that all verses have an internal rhyme in line 3 except this one; (Time to go, the marker's carved; on a real nice, cedar post. ""Here's ten bucks to buy a round"" and raise up one last toast.) *possible chage" I'm feeling cold 'n he's looking old Let's raise up one last toast Use or lose or do better Pete E [This message has been edited by Pete Evanson (edited 09-04-2003).]
Pete Evanson
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Thank you thinkhaus,
I am working at trying to tighten this one up a bit right now.
I do appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
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Dawg, Now that's storytelling for yah! Gee...you must live and drink hooks! Can't even find a nit if I tried hard! Kudos. Love the three, two and one play. Stan ------------------ Having Fun!!!! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/stanloh
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Good mornin' Miz Harriet,
I would repave the path, but I am afraid I would be charged with "asphault & battery".
I am making up the shopping list for Bobbie this morning. Anything special you want while you're here next week?
Looking forward to seeing you again.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
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HiDee Dawg, & "KUDOS" for..heh..a KILLER Song!
Onliest Suggestion is Tail It "NO Shots left in my Bottle....& that ONE Shot left in my Gun." "Closure"..eh? ;-)>
Well-Done, Amigo! It's Dazzln'!
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Thank you Joanne,
Yes I do plan on being around a while yet and that certainly isn't the way I figure on leaving when I do leave. It is just a song lyric.
Thanks for the read and the kind words.
dawg
###########
Hello Pete,
and thank you, my eagle eyed friend. I surely did miss that. I think I have it fixed now in a manner that stays within the flow of the song.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
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