This one was written a few years back and put to music 2 years later; I'm in my "re-assessment" phase for those of you who have been reading my latests posts, and this one falls into that category. Thank you in advance!

Hold Me Through The Hurt
Lyrics: Teri Foreman-Black C2001

V1:
Look into my eyes and own the cutting pain
Wipe away my tears that fall like summer rain
Help me ease into the hurt
As emotions start to flow
Calm my fears and hold my hand
One last time before you go

Chorus:
Hold me through the hurt
Until the darkness turns to day
Let me cry against your shoulder
Let me say what I need to say
Hole me through the hurt
I know that I will find
A better place in time after you’ve gone

V2:
A shock wave through my system
A knife into my heart
A simple piece of information
That makes a union fall apart
Just a little simple phone call
Muffled minutes of practiced lines
Brings to a conclusion the love I thought was mine

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
Do I have to ask for comfort
Can’t you see it in my eyes
With every trembling moment
Another piece of me just dies

Repeat Chorus

This one can be heard! at:
http://www.songramp.com/view.ez?sampleid=2474

Listwened as best buffering stream would alow Teri. Sounds Ok. Downloading ya watching over me one instead now.
Regards.
Graham

------------------
http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=grahamhenderson

Hi Teri,

I was really disappointed in not being able to listen to this one. For some reason, SongRamp doesn't like my machine (or probably vice versa). I liked this song in general, though there are a few places where I think you might be able to strengthen the phrasing a bit. One is the word "own" in the first line. That just seems a bit on the trendy side to me and not a word that most folks would really use in conversation. In line 2, the "tears that fall like summer rain" has really been done to death. If this was my song, I think I would rethink those opening lines to make them really grab the audience a bit better. Maybe consider something along the lines of:
Please don't turn away, I know you aren't to blame
For these anguished tears and this searing aching pain.
Help me ease into the hurt
As raw emotions start to show
Just calm my fears and hold my hand
One last time before you go.

Just a thought for you to ponder. Sure wish I could hear this.

Bobbie

Hi Teri,

Re. Bobbie's not being able to listen . . .
neither can I.

We're both Macs and I'm using Quicktime 6 to listen. I've never seen that .ez format
before.
My Quicktime player did kick in but like Graham seemed to suggest was happening with him,

I only get 10 seconds of music before each long rebuffering??

Best communicate with Songramp methinks.

------------------
Terry

Hi Teri

I really like this hook and I think you're delivering it well.
Couldn't you just simply use "know" instead of "own" in the first line??

In the first verse you're singing, "one last time before you go" and that sounds like the person is on the way out the door.
But in the chorus you're saying, "until darkness turns to day" which sounds like a long time. However, that's just me and both lines are good writing.
I have to go with Bobbie on the "summer rain" line. Been used right into the songline grave. Just a memorial now.
Like I mentioned previously, I really like this hook and the idea behind it.

Have been talking to Tim Choate, the big wheel at SongRamp and they are addressing the bad stream issue as best they can.
meanwhile i suggest songs be put up downloadable.
Right now i am enjoying the one I did download of Teri's as it cycles on my sunda6 morning play list I am downloading.
Currently am putting tracks from SongRamps on line store oon it to include in my show. Current exchange rate is not comductive to the shops importing records here so am pointing the listeners to whree they are available on the net.
SongRamp has a good selection there. Some of the samples are in Real Audio which i do not have but most are mp3.
Watching for the lightning bolt to go on this one Teri.
Regards.
Graham


------------------
http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=grahamhenderson

Thanks all, for the listen and comments. Specifically, I'll see what's up with Songramp and I'll make a download available on this one. (It's a bit tinny in that I was experimenting uploading via a cassette without an in-line, but thanks to Harriet, I'll fix that within a few days for a better copy.)

A brief summary which might address the story line: "once last time before you go" vs. "darkness turns to day": This was written essentially around the scenario where the guy is saying he needs to get out of the relationship, no specific rhyme or reason, and the girl is feeling she needs that one last physical contact with someone who was truly a friend (in addition to lover) to talk through this whole thing... so hold me until the darkness gets a bit lighter... before you leave for the last time.

Bobbie, I really do like the "blame/pain" line! Yep, "own the pain" is rather trendy but I guess I was more than optimistic when I thought it would fly. Your lines are keepers, Bobbie, if you don't mind! Thank you!

Ok, WriteFortune, I agree: that "rain" thing has been used to nauseation! I think I can work with Bobbie's suggestions and yank that out! I hope my summary above answers your other question re: "darkness" and "gone". Thanks for the look and time with this one.

Terry, if ya can't get the listen, let me know and I'll send a .wav file to you via email, ok?

Graham, you're a dear! I'll go and make this one available as a download; it's been working for me, again, the quality isn't great and this was a really strong Nashville demo so I'm determined to get it fixed!

Teri

Hold that thought Darlin'
Getting it now.
While i am waiting, I will mention something toward download/burning hassles i have struck fro time to time.
When i went to burn your I Don't Belong In Texas Anymore, it would not burn. I think I told you I converted it to wav then mack to mp3 and it worked.
Well I have found out since I don't even need to conver to wav. Just tell it to convert the mp3 as it came in to mp3 in a diferant folder and that solved the problem a lot quicker.
I have also applied that to some of Erica's and a few others who's files don't want to burn for some reason.
Haven't got a clue why but it works.
Anybody have trouble in this area. Try it it works.
Re grabbing off tapes. I found the best investment i ever made is a Optimus Karaoke box. I bought it of a little widowlady who was needing some money and thought it would sit in the corner collecting dust.
It is now what I record my vocals through; And my keyboard. And any tapes I need to do to Cd And I put my portable VD/Mp3 player through its auxillary jacks and use that as my backing scourse the odd occassions i do something live wher they don't have a PA.
It even runs of batteries, and a car battery jack, so it works great. The reverb and mixer on it don't go astray either.
OK is here. Bit reverby as I expected with an open recording transfer, but it sounds real nice. Not reading , just listening and i haven't heard one clang yet so lyric works in my book.
Reading, I wondered about the own the pain but it sang alright me thinks.
LOL. it just finished and went into the other one. Sound differance is a big step I tell ya. This is nice. Real nice.
Get a clean version of this one up and it will be too teri.
Lemme know.
Graham


------------------
http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=grahamhenderson

Hi, Teri, Like this lyric, and you seem to have good advice. One personal nit, I tend not to like to see similar lines in verse and chorus; v1 help me ease into the hurt (another word or phrase than hurt) because in the chorus you say, hold me thru the hurt. As your previous one, I cannot get more than just blips of sound of Soundramp. Posting a cowrite sunday or monday, hope you'll drop by, Good luck with this, Jeannette

Sheesh, Jeannette, I never NOTICED that similar line in V1 and the chorus! Thank you! I think that's an easy fix! Thanks for the look and time, J! and of course, I'll be watching out for an angel!

Graham, thanks to you (8 weeks ago) and now Harriet, I'm stepping boldly into the musical tech age! I already have a decent Kareoke machine (no snickers, anyone!) so I'll see if I can try that conversion with the jack inputs! I still don't know why the Songramp buffering isn't working on this one, but since I'm going to re-do it with an in-line copy, I won't worry about it tomorrow! <said in my best Scarlett O'Hara impersonation>

Frankly. I don't give a damn. As to what brand of karaoke box ya use.
Only commneting 'cos i couldn't resist the Rhett Butler comeback before the chance was gone with the wind.
Graham

Hi Teri

Early merri . . .
Christmas
If it doesn't fit
Save the tag
And take it back :—)

V1:
Look into my eyes
And know the searing pain
Wipe away my tears
As they fall like autumn rain
Help me ease into the hurt
As emotions start to flow
Calm my fears and hold my hand
One last time before you go

Chorus:
Hold me through the hurt
Until the darkness yields to day
Let me cry against your shoulder
Say what I need to say
I know that I will find
Strength of heart and mind
But until then . . .
Hold me through the hurt

V2:
A shock wave flowed through my system
A knife pierced my heart
Simple miscommunication
Made this union fall apart
Just one short, collect phone call
Muffled minutes of practiced lines
Brought to a conclusion
The love I thought was mine

Bridge:
Is my need for comfort unclear
Can’t you see it in my eyes?
With every trembling moment
Another piece of me dies

------------------
Terry