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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 180
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 180 |
Hi, y'all Please send some feedback my way. This one's a bit more commercial in structure. Thanks I don't love my wife (c) Peter Boag 2002 ~uptempo bluesy groove~ [v1] Women don't know my name the bums quit askin me for change but I try to do what is right so I sleep real good, in the middle of the night [chorus] yes I love this life yes I love this life I love everybody but I don't love my wife [v2] she gave me an itch and I scratched it if somethings goin round I'm gonna catch it she tore up my heart but I patched it and I'm not gonna take more of that shiii.....[alternate wording available for Republicans ] [chorus] yes I love this life yes I love this life I love everybody but I don't love my wife [bridge] now her lawyer's hand is stickin through that big hole in my pocket she took my Bo Diddley she said you ain't gonna rock it she stopped puttin in she stopped puttin out yes I hear you baby you don't have to shout [chorus] yes I love this life yes I love this life I love everybody but I don't love my wife [v3] some things make me smile like thinkin about gettin used to my new lack of a lifestyle but I'm laughin right in my beer you're gonna look like my grandmother in a couple of years [chorus] yes I love this life yes I love this life I love everybody but I don't love my I don't love my I do not love my ex wife
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 370
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 370 |
Well, Pete, this sounds like its got a blues thing going ok!
Only real nit is for me the first verse doesn't set up the rest of the song for me, it doesn't seem to be related to the "i don't love my wife" idea. therefore, initially the chorus seems to come out of left field.
Well, keep or sweep and good luck. Linda
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 180
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 180 |
Thanks sweetsong,
Re first line and verse, I was trying to set up the idea of being down and out after being cleaned out in a divorce, which leads to I dont love my wife thingy.
Anybody else care to comment?
have a good one
Peter Taos NM
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 370
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 370 |
Hey, Pete, how 'bout - Since she took all my money Women don't call me honey Just another keeper or sweep her!
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 350
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 350 |
Peter,
Try an extra verse (2) before the first chorus. Then you can develop the lead in more and it may be a better arrangement for 8 lines before the chorus instead of just 4 anyway. (I think 8 lines till the chorus still qualifies as "getting to the chorus quickly enough")
Chris
Chris
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