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upbeat country!

EDITS IN PLACE [Linked Image]

"Handcuffs On My Mind",(And A Headlock On My Heart)

© DANOLYRICS(BMI) 2002

Ya can`t fight love, I can tell it`s true,
Cause baby I can`t stop thinkin of you,
It`s a strange new feeling so hard to shake,
You got a hold on me too tight to break,

I can`t think straight and I can`t breathe right,
I swear I might fall-all-all apart,
Cuz you got handcuffs on my mind,
And a headlock on my heart.

I`m not even sure I could run away,
Not that I`d really wanna anyway,
You`re so so sweet and hard to resist,
I doubt I`ll hold out very long like this,

I can`t think straight and I can`t breathe right,
I swear I might fall-all-all apart,
Cuz you got handcuffs on my mind,
And a headlock on my heart.

In case you`re unaware of what you do,
I`m bound and determined to tell the truth,
So sometime soon I`m gonna let you know,
Baby keep holdin on now, don`t let go!

I can`t think straight and I can`t breathe right,
I swear I might fall-all-all apart,
Cuz you got handcuffs on my mind,
And a headlock on my heart.

Yeah I can`t think straight and can`t breathe right,
I swear I`m gonna fall way all apart,
Cuz you got handcuffs on my mind,
And a headlock on my heart.

Yeah you got handcuffs on my mind,
And a headlock on my heart.


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[This message has been edited by Dan windowman (edited 09-13-2002).]

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I like this Dan, need to think on it, some bumpy spots, but great start.Love the hook. Jeannette


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Dan,

Love the title/hook in this. It's a real attention-getter and perty dang clever.

Just two things I'll nit for the moment.

1) In the first line you say "what they say about love must be true." I've heard lots of things said about love (love stinks, love hurts, love gives me gas, etc.) so, even though you see love as a good thing here, I'm not sure you really address what specifically THEY SAY about love. A minor point to be sure, but one that caught my attention.

2) In the chorus, which I think is the best part of the lyric, I'd change line 2 to something like, "I swear I think I'll fall apart." That reads, to me, a little more smoothly than FALL-ALL-ALL APART, which I assume is where you're trying to strecth out the syllables for meter sake? Anyway, just another minor consideration.

This is definitely upbeat country. Not bad over all.

Greg


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Got an eye cather there DANO....first to respond, then off for some shut-eye

It's a catchy lyric, but I feel(might be handcuffs on my mind also)that it needs a little sumpin exrta

Here's my take on it
Well, what they say about love must be true
Oh baby I can't stop thinkin about you
and I find lately...I ain't doin so great
You got a hold on me, that I just can't break

I can't think straight and I'm goin bananas
I swear I might fall-all-all-apart
But you got handcuffs on my mind
and an headlock on my heart

Now, I'm not even sure I could run away
Not that I'd really wanna anyway
You're so sweet and hard to resist
I'm due for a fall if, things go on like this

DANO'S goin BANANOS LOL

over and outta here
Allen

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Hey bro!

I liked the hook too, but i always like your hooks anyway, so no real news there.

I think in the first verse and chorus if you just nuke a few extra words it will flow a bit better; something like:

What they say about love must be true,
Cause I can`t stop thinkin of you,
I find that lately I`m losing sleep,
You got a hold on me that`s oh so deep,
I can`t think straight and can`t breathe right,
I swear I might fall-all-apart,
But you got handcuffs on my mind,
And a headlock on my heart.

Just some tiny suggestions; don't think you need the slightly changed chorus; i'd just repeat the same one.

Bounces along real nice in my head. [Linked Image]

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Howdy Dano,

I really like your hook here. Of course I had a few tweak ideas for you to consider. Liked what Blake had also. Greg is right about that first line needing a bit more of a grabber. However...I actually like that "fall-all-all apart bit. I think it would be a fun thing for the singer". Might look a bit strange on paper...but heck..this is something that hopefully will get sung at some point in time.

YA CAN'T FIGHT LOVE, I CAN TELL THAT'S true,
Cause baby I can`t stop thinkin of you,
And lately I`m SURE losing sleep,
You got a hold on me that`s oh so deep,
I can`t think straight; can`t breathe right,
I swear I might fall-all-all apart,
But you got handcuffs on my mind,
And a headlock on my heart.

Like this one a lot.

Bobbie


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Hi Dan,

Hope you don't mind this for your parts pile or that I had the nerve to even mess with your hook :—)

I can`t think straight and I can`t breathe right,
I swear I might fall-all-all apart,
But you gotta headlock on my mind,
And a mind-lock on my heart.

You`re so so sweet and hard to resist,
I doubt I`ll (hold out) very long like this,

doubt-out

Fun tune!

Terry




[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 09-12-2002).]

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See how many ands, justs and thats you can lose and it will go along pretty smooth Dan.
Not real struck o the turning blue line Cobber. Bit of a stretch.
REgards.
Graham

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Dano,
When I read this title I had to giggle cuz it seemed to be a perfectly fitting title for you to come up with [Linked Image]with your personality, a super hook imo.
You could change line one to be
Well what people say....
<At least I`m not doubled over turning blue,>
Were you trying to tie that in with headlock?? I dunno but-I'm thinking that this line is killing the lovey dovey feel of this lyric.
I just love the chorus as is - don't change it.
Fun stuff Dano!
Pam


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Hey, Dano. Just home quickly for lunch, so I thought I'd stop in. I was wondering when you were gonna get around to this hook! It's a lot of fun. I liked what Greg did with lines 3 and 4 of V1, cause I'm not sure a hold can be deep. I know what you mean, but Greg's version is a bit clearer. In the chorus, I wanted that "but" to be a "cuz". Just seems to make more sense to me that way. I know that's a super-nitty nitpick, but, hey, you wouldn't expect any less of me, right? [Linked Image] I wasn't crazy about the "turning blue" line. I think you can do better (don't you hate it when people say that?). Alright, back to work for me! Hope I could help.

RD

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This'll pass in a pinch. You've done better with these wacky hooks of yours, but this one ain't bad. There's some filler in it, I notice, what with her hold that's "oh so deep", you falling "all-all apart" and her being "so so sweet." But no biggie. And I'd also say

But sometime soon I gotta let you know,
YOU SHOULD keep holdin on baby don`t let go,

That's about it. Not much to nit here, but it didn't really grab me the way some of your other fun stuff does. Good luck with this one! [Linked Image]

Anthony


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Dano-bro!

What a fun romp of a lyric. I like Greg and Terry the tall one's fixes for the few minor things.

Fun and enjoyable read.

dawg


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age just shows up alone.
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Jeannette, Greg, and Allen,

J,
Yep, it`s got bumps..gonna try and smooth em out. Thanks for the visit and the likin. [Linked Image]

Gregster,
You are absolutely right sir! That first line is too vague. I see Ms. Bobbie has a replacement line for me, so I`ll use her`s. It`s way better. Good eye bud. I kinda like the fall-all-all apart line though. Rolls off the tongue quite nicely, and as Bobbie said...it`s fun to sing. Thanks for the thoughts as always bro. [Linked Image]

Al-ster,
LOL...big problem with your thought is, I`m already crazy!! Thanks for the thoughts, I`ll see if I can polish it up. [Linked Image]

Thanks again! Dano. [Linked Image]

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Blake, Bobbie, and Tall Terry,

Blakemeister,
Thanks bro. LOL...yeah knew you`d like the hook. Thanks for the extra word nukes. I guess I threw that slightly changed chorus in there at the end just as a little change up. You know...pound em with the heat, then sneak the change by em. [Linked Image] Bounces along good in my head too...scary huh??!! [Linked Image]

Ms. Bobbie,
Thanks for the opening line change. You and Greg nailed that perfectly. I`ll change that pronto. I like that fall-all-all apart line myself. It sings super-slippery. [Linked Image] Thanks for stopping by, and the kind words Bobbie. [Linked Image]

Terry,
Thanks for the look and the thumbs up. I like that hold out change. Gonna keep the hook the same though. As long as this has been skidding along in the back of my head...I gotta keep that hook intact. My muse might disown me if I didn`t. [Linked Image]

Thanks again y`all. Dano. [Linked Image]

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Graham, Pam, and Ricki`,

Graham,
Hmmm...3 "that`s" and 1 "just"...I thought I was doing good. Sure nuff is alot of "and`s" in there though. Thanks Graham, I`ll see how many of them I can dispose of. Kinda liked that turning blue line...but I see it has three whacks against it, so I`ll hafta think on a change for that too. Appreciate it Big G.

Hurleygirly!!,
Now Pammy...whatever do you mean with that personality comment??? [Linked Image] LOL. You`re right, I can`t deny it. Thanks for the super hook comment. Yep, I was playing off the headlock for the turning blue idea...but if it kills the lovey dovey feel, it`s gotta go! Thanks again Pamster. [Linked Image]

Ricki`,
Golly darlin, you do have a great memory don`t ya? I thought you`d have forgotten about this`n. Glad you got a kick outta this one. I`ll definitely chuck that hold deep stuff. Good catch there. I guess I`m guilty of liking a nice little "but", but I can change them to "cuz`s". I went back and forth on that idea myself before posting. I`ll toss that turning blue line too! Thanks for the supersharp eye darlin...I certainly appreciate it. [Linked Image]

Thanks again! Dano. [Linked Image]

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Anthony and Dawg,

Anth,
It passed in a pinch? YAY! At least it passed! [Linked Image] Yeah it`s got a little mortar in the cracks, but ya gotta have mortar. Geez, it`s got handcuffs and headlock in the title and you wanted more grab??!! Sheesh. Thanks for the few nit visit. [Linked Image]

Dawg,
Thanks bro. I`m gonna tweak it up a bit with the good ideas I`ve been offered. Glad it romped along for ya. [Linked Image]

Thanks again men. Dano. [Linked Image]

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Dan, I love this one..... great incredible hook! I wish I could offer something "worthy" but when it's this solid, what's left to say? Teri

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Teri,

Thanks for the visit and the incredible comments! I have some edits that I hope will finish it off. Thanks again! Dano. [Linked Image]

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Dan, since "headlock" refers to the head area and the "mind" is in the head area, I really think you should at least reverse the "headlock/handcuffs" in the lines. However, if you were to reverse it, I'd really try and find a better word than "handcuffs" associated with heart (and there must be tons of great ones that are even common references associated with the 'heart'. I like your hook, but i think you need to dig a bit deeper to make it great. JMO...

Just a thought...

"But you got a headlock on my mind,
And a strangle-hold on my heart".

Tom

[This message has been edited by Tom Guertin (edited 09-13-2002).]


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Tom,

Thanks for stopping by bud. Here`s the thing. #1 I was going for something out of the ordinary, to make it stand out. LOL..think I succeeded there. #2. I think the "handcuffs on my mind" is a great metaphor for her making him not think straight. She`s got his mind handcuffed. #3 I think that headlock on my heart is also a great metaphor for her having complete command of his heart. Stranglehold would pretty much cover the same area as headlock, so I see no gain in using that. Also as far as heart stuff is concerned...it`s been done a billion times with hold, lock, tied,...etc, etc. Now I`m pretty sure this hook I`ve come up with gives it a fresh turn, so I`ll stick with it. I may be wrong, but hell that`s happened a billion times already too! [Linked Image] Thanks again for the look, and the food for thought though. Dano. [Linked Image]

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Hey Dayun,

I saw this one between bouts with my computer and thought I'd heard it before, I believe it's one from your "Hook Book" that ya shared with me. Glad you got around to writing it. I think with this one, it's going to be the music that makes it... You know, something fun, lively and upbeat. Could just do the trick! Maybe ala the macho version of Faith Hill's "Love the Way You Love Me"

Fun stuff, Dayuno!
[Linked Image] Cin


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HarlanDarlin,

Yeah, this one was in the dusty old hook file. Finally had an idea hit me on it and off I went. I`d been a little handcuffed on it til then. [Linked Image] Glad ya liked it...and I hope music does make it. Thanks for the peek Cin. Dayuno. [Linked Image]

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Fun Hook, Dano!

Somehow or other, I gets the Impression the Object of Affection's some kinda Amazon...or maybe into Law Enforcement... heh!

But, fortunately, you've injected "Sweet"
& the "In Case You're Unaware" clause, so my Mental Image of this Dreamboat goes down a couple hundred pounds, on the spot. Still seems to be a Babe-to-Be Reconed-With, eh? ;-)>

Crazy & Cute enough to get a Careful "KUDOS"...
Good Luck with it!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan


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