JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 2 Second Thoughts (rewrite of Think Twice)

First of all, I would like to thank all of those who contributed to the changes in this lyric, some of the suggestions have been incorporated, all were very much appreciated.

SECOND THOUGHTS
© 2002 Jeannette M. Desnoyers

I’m sitting at the crossroads
Between Highway 3 and 5
They’re both my lucky numbers
But which way do I drive
Each leads to a different place
But the deck seems slightly stacked
One points to a scary future
One’s an old familiar track

Pre chorus:
So, I asked dad for his advice
He said, Darlin’ lets go fishin
Takin’ time for second thoughts
Beats runnin’ blind or wishin’

CHORUS
‘Cause it takes 2 to run and 2 to hide
And 2 to stay and swallow pride
It takes 2 to walk side by side
In 1 missed beat, hearts will divide
Love builds on trust, not cards or dice
For a marriage to work, you gotta’ think twice

While sittin’ on that river bank
Casting for a solution
My tears travelled downstream
And I saw what I'd done
So, I put my new-found faith
In Dad’s words and headed home
This time in the right direction
To the one sure thing I’ve known

Pre Chorus:
I’ve spent the day being lost
And, Baby, I found what’s missin’
Taking time for second thoughts
Beats runnin’ blind or wishin’

CHORUS
It takes 2 to run and 2 to hide
And 2 to stay and swallow pride
It takes 2 to walk side by side
In 1 missed beat hearts will divide
Love builds on trust, not cards or dice
For a marriage to work, you gotta’ think twice

BRIDGE
There will always be some push and shove
When all is said and done
But Darlin, it’s what we give and take
That wins the game of love

Pre Chorus:
Now when we disagree
I say, Darlin’, let’s go fishin’
‘Cause two people with second thoughts
Sure beats runnin blind and wishin’

[This message has been edited by lyricalmiss2002 (edited 09-10-2002).]

[This message has been edited by lyricalmiss2002 (edited 09-13-2002).]

Hi Jeanette,

You've honed it beautifully!

Since it takes only one dropped beat
To turn the beat around
I made it my best excuse
To tamper wit yo sound. . .
________________
It takes 2 to run and 2 to hide
And 2 to stay and swallow pride
It takes 2 to walk side by side
Only one missed beat, 2 hearts to divide
Love builds on trust, not a roll of the dice
For a marriage to work, you gotta’ think twice
______________
"love is based . . ."?

Terry

Hi Jeannette

Love the lyric and a great job with the writing.

The concern I have is that if I heard the song on the air and fell in love with it. I’m not sure I would know what to ask for my next trip to the record store.

The Hook don’t seem to reach out and grab your attention and that will kill a good song.

May just be me. Hope it is because this is a good song IMO.

Regards
Bill

Thanks, Terry and Bill
One missed beat, yep, thanks
I guess I used build like building something from cards, but will look at 'love is based on trust not dice or cards'

And, Bill you may have a point about the title and hook, has been my 'sore' point
Second Thoughts is in the refrain but not really brought home in the chorus. Last line of Chorus where most often the hook will appear is Gotta Think Twice, so... Which way will I go?
I still have another concern about the second V and will see what crops up in the critiques before I make any further changes.
Thanks, so much, for all your time and input. Jeannette

Hi Jeanette,

Well push my buttons!

While I sat there by the riverside
Realizin' what he'd said
I cast all my tears downstream
As the sun turned slowly red. . .

I think that you'll have to make the chorus words your dad's words if the second verse is to follow the chorus. . .

or alternatively try this:
Verse 1, then Refrain (as a 1st chorus)
Verse 2 (but changing the last line to suit)
THEN the MAIN , as in 2ND chorus after (as YOUR words) but with no 2nd Refrain following.
Add the second Refrain to the existing bridge!! (they will work togeather)
Finally the end refrain. . .
Or 1st Chorus repeat and end Refrain.


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Terry C. Graham

[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 09-10-2002).]

Hi Jeannette:

I read this the other day and liked it very much! I think I didn't reply because I had nothing to add. I still don't have anything to add, but I did want to let you know it's a good song.

I love the opening line and the chorus is great. Nice job!



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Nanette
wordsofpassion.com

Thanks, Nanette, I appreciate your kind comments. Still not sure about title. Now, the first line might be a good title, but generally that needs to get punched through the chorus, not the verses, unless I used it in each verse and made chorus a bridge. At any rate, I'm at less of a crossroads in the direction this is going now. Thanks, again, Jeannette

Thanks, Teri, for your suggestions, am going to play around with this for a while till I decide whether I'm changing title; have a few ideas for second verse, but not certain yet whether I want to go into major rewrites in structure until I set my focus in stone.

I really like this song. The title misled me a bit, (that's an easy thing for me sometimes), but I like your wording.

Thanks, Tink, I believe I'll go back to the original title, 'Gotta Think Twice. It's strange cause titles are usually what I'm better at. Thanks for the comment and read, Jeannette

Jeannette,

Got some in depth ideas on this one if you`re interested. If you wanna hear em shoot me an e sayin so. Dano.

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www.angelfire.com/music3/danolyrics

Hi Jeanette,

While sittin’ on that river bank
Casting my thoughts toward the sun
As my tears travelled downstream
It was clear what had to be done

It's either that or:
"I saw what had to be done"
"I saw what I had not done". . .
. . . . . . what I'd left undone

Terry

[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 09-14-2002).]

Hi Jeannette

Don't get much time to visit lately...but better late than never
Great lyric....and makes so much sense

My little thoughts, after a bit a scrutinizing...

3rd line of 1st verse
both (those) roads are calling me

and maybe
casting for a solution
I saw where we went wrong
and made a resolution

I like it
Allen

Well, this is going to be a groupy so as not to increase the numbers on the board. Thanks all for your responses.
Thanks, Terry, still not sure what I'm saying here which will become clear in my response to Allen

Allen, some interesting new possibilities, I'll see what I can do with them, I think you've got what I'm trying to say. The only thing is I don't think it's a matter of either doing right or wrong, but both not doing enough together. But I like the 'resolution' and the 'roads calling me' Thanks

Dano, welcome your ideas, will drop an e.

Appreciate so much how welcome everyone has made me feel here, and how much you contribute to this creative process. Jeannette

Hi Jeanette, You've got a lot of ideas already-I think your thoughts and theme are good. May take some more work. ----I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think it's usually recommended to have "both" a refrain and a chorus. The purpose of either is to hammer home a hook--title so as they've said to remember it and know what to ask for at the store If they both do that they need to hammer the same thought, tho that may be too much repetition.
IMHO "It Takes Two" would be a good title That would refer back to number theme in v 1 and the whole song would relate pretty well.
Maybe make the refrain into a single bridge. Just thoughts
In v 2--the "solution--done rhyme is pretty much of a stretch as some have indicated. Without changing the rest too much, could say--in line 4--I saw what I was doin'
The meaning for "cards and dice" in the c isn't all that plain. Possibility--Loves not a house of cards or a roll of dice" or something like that
Keep writing

Thanks, Wyman. "Give My Head A Shake" on this structure: Actually, I think I meant Pre-chorus not refrain. The prechorus structure is used in How Can I Help You Say Goodbye, Holes in the Floor of Heaven and can work a couple ways. Either ABABAB which means I need a third vignette verse that clearly relates back to the chorus and NO bridge (i'm not sure that fits here) or
ABABCB where the prechorus is more of a 'lift' and either the same or different lyric that propels it back into the chorus.
Which sort of fits what I've tried to do here.
I don't want a single Bridge because I actually do want the He said, I said, kind of concept in this story.

The rhyme 'doin' works much better,thanks. just have to decide if I'm going to keep mixing female/male rhyme schemes or try to be more exact.

Second Thoughts, was a stretch, it's only in the prechorus. It Takes Two and Gotta' think Twice are contained in my chorus. But,considering some of the previous confusions,It Takes Two makes more sense. However,it is the last line of the chorus, I'm tempted to go back to Gotta Think Twice, what do you think? If I change the cards or dice line and rhyme it with the last line as 'For a marriage to work, it has to take two'or something along that line. It might alleviate 2 points of confusion (pun intended)
As for cards and dice, it relates to the 1st verse - lucky numbers, and the bridge - game of love and the concept that she's gambling and not choosing. But maybe I need to either drop that concept or bring it into the theme more?
I really appreciate your observations and suggestions. This weekend I'll get back at this with more thought and less day job stuff on my mind. Thanks for getting me back on track, Jeannette

Hi Jeannette:

Just checking in and I read the confusion about the title. Before I even got down to your last note I thought "It Takes 2" would fit very nicely. I know it's been used before, but it seems to go so well with this song.

That's my vote anyway.

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Nanette
wordsofpassion.com

Thanks, Nanette for stopping in. I've finished with rewrites and have settled on the hook as the last line of the chorus, Gotta Think Twice. Just like the fact that it is the very last line of pre chorus/chorus and less familiar than It takes two. Thanks again, for your read and vote! Jeannette