JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 2 All Over But the Cryin' - AUDIO WORK TAPE

How's that for a quick turn-around?! The lyric is still on page one and we already have a work tape thanks to the very talented John Parker. Take a listen and see what you think. When Blake and I first wrote the lyric, we were thinking of a female vocal along the lines of LeeAnn Womak. We still think that would be great. But a few folks commented at the lyric post that they heard it as a Brooks and Dunn style male vocal. If you have an opinion on the matter, please chime in! We dropped the bridge for now, but if you think it needs it back in there, we'd like to know. When we get this demoed, we'll have the chorus repeated one last time. The work tape just has VCVC. A huge thanks to John for putting his time and talent in to this one!!

I don't know how to do that thing where I can link you right to the song, so I'll just have to put a link to my web page. It's easy to find once you're there! It's not too late to make changes, so we really want your opinions! Thanks!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ericagroshens_music.htm

Hey, Blake told me how!! (Thanks, Blakester.) But I'll leave the other link in case this doesn't work.

http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=67641&q=Lo

http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=67641&q=Hi

http://www.soundclick.com/util/DownloadSong.cfm?ID=67641

All Over But the Cryin'
©2002. Hill/Groshens/Parker


The bed is mine, the sofa's yours
You can take the TV, too
Cause all I'll be watching is the end of me and you
Take the tools cause I'm a fool
At fixin' what falls apart
I've tried like hell to fix this love
Still I've got a broken heart

(Chorus)

It's all over but the cryin'
Nothing left to say
No more last tries, goodbyes
No more prayers to pray
You know there's nothing more that I can do
Since you gave up on tryin'
I'll be tasting tears for all the wasted years
It's all over but the cryin'

When we said "for better or worse"
I thought we meant the same thing
I guess you think "better" means you without your ring
I never thought "death do us part"
Meant me here dyin' inside
It's time to face what I can't change
Lord knows I've tried

(Repeat chorus)


[This message has been edited by rickigirl (edited 04-23-2002).]

Congratulations, it's a song!

Way to go John, Blake, & Erica! Still hearin' Brooks & Dunn, myself... Nice one!

-Uncle Chuck

Hey guys (and gal)...

Pretty good job, again. John sure got this out in a hurry. I'm impressed. It'll really come to life with a full piece band, ala B & D. Very enjoyable lyric, and melody. Easy to sing along to. Best wishes and blessings to all of you...Clark

Sounds pretty good. I think the chorus is a little wordy which takes away from the singalong quality of a really hooky song. /Glen

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"The process of learning is often more important than what is being learned"
-----The Kat----
Glen King
Music Domains For Sale.
http://www.musicdomains.cc

Ricki` and Blake,(and John P!)

Nice job y`all. I noticed two things...which is odd, cause my music/vocals ear isn`t very perceptive! (Not that the song is bad...I just was tuned in for a change I guess!) First verse, after hearing it sung, and reading along with the lyrics...I`d change "Still I`ve got a broken heart" to Still got me a broken heart. Just flows better/sings stronger to me. Second thing, and actually more of a technical nit...John seems rushed a bit on the chorus line-"Since you gave up on tryin". Maybe a different silly emphasis or something would help. Beyond those 2 nits, I like it a whole bunch. I`ll be waiting for Kix and Ronnie to cut this. `Dano.

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www.angelfire.com/music3/danolyrics

Dan:

Good eye. We've talked about that line a number of times. Erica said the same thing the first time she heard the music I wrote. The words are just srunched together, and it's true. With precussion, rather than my sense of rhythm, it's something we can work out with the demo. If not, there are alternatives that work--John

Chuck: One vote for Kix and Ronnie. Thanks for the listen!

Clark: Glad you like it. Two for Brooks and Dunn!

Glen: Thanks for taking a listen. We always appreciate it!

Dan: Another vote for ole Kix and Ronnie! I'll give them a call tonight and tell them they're in. Thanks for the other comments, as well, Cowboy. We'll check it out.

Ricki

Erica, Blake and John,

This came out really nice. I read the lyrics, but after wading thru all the posts, didn't have much to say. glad you changed the drowning line- this is better.

I'm glad I got to hear this, it's cool that John got right on the ball- I think I read this only a day or two ago.. Good luck with this one !

Adios Mike

Chuckster; thanks for the listen bro; sure is appreciated.

Mike: Thanks! Yup, John moved quickly on this. We posted the lyric on Friday and by Saturday morning we were listening to music already! Gotta love that! We appreciate you listening.

Erica

Sounds good! Enjoyed John's voice.Take out the "Since" . John has to almost drop the you to fit it in and you don't need it. It will make sense without.

I agree with Glenn about the chorus. Take out :

You know there's nothing more that I can do
Since you gave up on tryin'
I'll be tasting tears for all the wasted years

and maybe use that as part of the bridge or another verse.

Sounds good. My favorite verse is the first one.

JeanB

Kill the that and I think you are well on the way here.
Not tht i hate thats but I have this o a sting of stuff i am playing and when it came up I heard a cram line but was critiquing elsewhere so had to bring it back when I got to this one.
It was the that line for sure i had heard.
Like it.You do good John.
Regards.
Graha,

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http://artists3.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Graham_Henderson/

This turned out real real nice!!! Great work all of you!!! My vote goes with Books and Dunn also!!!

Jean and Graham: I only have time for a quick thanks. We're still tweaking this one, so we really appreciate the suggestions. Thanks!

Ricki

Thanks, JMarie!! I think we're almost there on this one. We appreciate your opinion.

Erica

I can't listen at work, but the lyric is very strong and very commercial. Hope the music is as good (I bet it is, since John did it!). Dan's suggestions are all good ones, but I didn't see anything else I'd change. I think going without a bridge is a fresh approach. Good work you two (three)!

Corey

Thanks, Corey! I hope you can listen, soon. John did a great job. We've made a few more small tweaks and I think it's just about ready to go! I appreciate your input.

Erica

Hey there Corey; just wanted to say thank you for stopping in...at work even!

Good job, you three. I've listened a number of times now, and I can't do much more than parrot what all the other keen ears have picked up on.

Kill the "that" in the chorus, and let the vocal glide over the pause left behind. The stumble line in the chorus that John is having trouble with could probably stay as is with some more practice. But it could be made easier by dropping the "on" and restructuring the vocal phrasing just a tad:

Since YOU/gave up/...tryyyyyin'

One line no one else was bothered by did me, though. In the first verse, the phrasing of L4. I thought it was distracting. I would be more tempted to follow the phrasing of its counterpart, L1. Deemphasize "take", emphasize "tools" and "fools", with the natural break in the middle.

Nice job! Flesh it out!

Michael; as always, truly appreciate you stoppin in and giving it a spin! Thanks for the suggestions.

Hello Rickigirl,
Great concept, lyrics and story!
Only "nit" is that the melody sounds very similar to an old standard from the 70's.
The title and part of the lyrics said something like "talk about you and me, and the games people play".

You might consider rewriting the melody a bit so it won't sound like the old 70's style Pop melody, if you want it more country sounding.

Oops, I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings!?
LOL,
Michael

It was a double-Michael night, I see.

Mike: I'm waiting for the latest MP3 from John to download, but that should be how that "troublesome" line is now phrased. Poor guy had to listen to an MP3 of me singing it. What a trooper, huh? Thanks for listening.

Michael: It's hard to hurt our feelings (don't take that as a challenge, please!).
I'm not familar with the song you are referring to. Not sure how to look it up with the info you provided. But if it was a pop song from the 70s, I'm not too concerned. I think this melody sounds plenty country. And with a country demo production, it will sound even more so. Thanks for the heads up, though.

Erica

[This message has been edited by rickigirl (edited 04-25-2002).]

Mornin' Ricci, Blake and John......

Fine job and a quick turn-around. I have to go along with the Brooks and Dunn. Enjoyed the ride.

dawg

Hi Guys and Gal!

I saw this lyric the first time around and didn't have much time to comment when the new board was just getting started, then I've been busy fixing a few things on this end, and now when I try to listen, my damn music software ain't working.

So... I'm gonna wait until i get things fixed so I can do all my comments lyric/music at once. Looking good though!

Curtis

Dawg and Curtis...sure appreciate the drop-in from the both of ya....it's almost on it's way to nashville to get recorded...keep'em crossed!