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I needed this for Fri. of this week. As usual Sub came through . Not only did he get it done, he cleaned up my original tracks (again) played totally awesome lead bass in it, piano and percussion, and of course enhanced it. He did an amazing production here and of course; expert improvising and playing. Thanks again Sub, you're the best. The first version I recorded is below this at Soundclick.

One of the first songs I ever wrote and was my Dad's favorite. He would have loved to hear it recorded like this. It was inspired by a young athlete I met many years ago who was incredibly gifted, could have been in the Majors, but that didnt happen. Life took him elsewhere.
Thanks everyone..hope you enjoy it.

ALL I CAN SEE IS YOU

( words & music by Susan Lainey)

Leaves turned green by a water scene
Flowers in the forest grew
And the willow tree swayed all around me
But I was watching you

People pass, some slow , some fast
They have a place in me
And all the while with their color & style
Only you I truly see

Running through that spacious light
And the bright aura of your body takes
All the awareness that time creates

(instrumental break)

Leaves fall down and winter rolls around
Laughter may seem untrue
And the world may be passing by me
But All I Can See Is You
Oooh...................


lead vocal,acoustic guitar-Susan Lainey
lead bass guitar,piano,percussion-Mike Caro / Substudio

(2006)

www.soundclick.com/susanlainey

www.cdbaby.com/susanlainey[/URL

S....tinyurl.com/rpvtt]www.tinyurl.com/rpvtt


[This message has been edited by laineytunes@yahoo.com (edited 12-01-2006).]

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This is very Beautiful, with an equally Beautiful voice to match! Very Moving, Enjoyed!

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Hi lainytunes,


This song is very moving. I listened only once since I've got to get busy around here pronto.

Had to tell you how much I enjoyed this collab. Did you write the melody? Love it.

Substudio has done a great job. It is a very clean sound. Brush drums (think that's what they were) added just the right touch and he put them right where they belonged. Now I'm not [much educated] on what he does but I know when I like what I hear.

Was his portion what is considered 'work for hire'? Or did he compose too?

Oh, I need to comment, though I hate to do it since you've already demoed this. I wasn't able to hear all the words clearly. But, I enjoyed the mood and sound---gorgeous voice-- so much that I'd listen over and over to try to understand the words. Would everyone else? I don't know.

[Linked Image]
rd



[This message has been edited by royaldghtr (edited 12-01-2006).]

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Sue,

This is an absolutely beautiful piece of work. I love Sub's production. I know you have put out a lot a great work, but this one is clearly one of my favorites. Outstanding song!

Rick

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Sue,
that's a really nice melody with plenty of vocal inflection points that a voice like yours serves up nicely...I would listen to it again and probably will...Moker

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Howdy Susan!

Nice song, great production. Mike did some nice work, and I could go on and on about your voice and talent.

I respect and truly appreciate the mentions of your father. You are a gift to the musical world, and I appreciate your artistry. You make it hard not to notice you with such beautiful work.

Do you have any happy songs about love, cause you got me really sad!


Blessings,


Johnboy

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Sue,

I am so impressed...great vocal and guitar...then that bass entry...wow...the whole arrangement is so innovative...just love all of it!!!

t [Linked Image] m

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Hi Sue,
I really like this. Very pretty. Your voice sounds really good on this. I hear some "Linda Ronstadt" in places.. Sub did a great job too.

~~shelia

------------------

http://www.sheliaquattlebaum.com

"You need a car with good tires on it and the right place to eat barbeque."

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Hi Sue....its the voice that does it for me..totally enchanting...Terry..

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Sue and Sub-- Excellent work....I read all the above...you all have it together...so impressive...two extremely talented people...thanks for hangin' out here with us and inspiring us...t-bob

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Sue/Sub... Wow. Everything's done so nicely, love it when that bass 1st comes in. Beautiful guitar work. Sub's pretty good on that piano too,of course your voice was pretty good too. [Linked Image]


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Great job, Sue (and Mike)! Beautiful tune, well performed. What more can we ask for?
[Linked Image]
-Jay

------------------
www.jaybritton.com
www.soundclick.com/jaybritton
www.myspace.com/jaybrittonsongs

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Hey Sue - Hey Sub:

Beautiful! A real lesson on what to add and what not to add. It was great before and even better now! Super additions with the bass, piano and percussion - love that tiny little piano run.....

Listening over my 'phones at work, heard a few stray noises at about 1:24 - nothin' major.....

Lovely song, lovely delivery, lovely production.....

Scott

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Sue,

Sensitive and heartfelt. The melody has it's own way of finishing up on the verses! Real cool and unique I guess. Nice guitar!

Yes, beautiful in every way.
Great touches there Mike too! YOu won't need me for anybody else for piano parts for anybody! You got it all covered! Amazing. Real good touch and just the right notes. Melodic and meaningful! Of course, same for everything else.

Perfect blend of real good lyrics, melody, singing, instrumentation, and production.

Now when do we get to mix?!!!!
[Linked Image]

Great job Sue and Mike! No nits.
John


Actually a Member Since 1996 or 97 (Number One Hundred Something).
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=1409522





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Hey Sue and Sub,

Well, that sure got the goosebumps and the shiver down the neck going [Linked Image]

Just beautiful, no nits, well thought out and great arrangement, and of course that vioce of yours just grabs me Sue.

Very well done.

cheers, niteshift

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Sue -

This is sublimely beautiful with a dreamlike quality. I listened to it on your site a while back and thought it was perfect then and I am always surprised how a tune that seems perfect can become "more" perfect. Your voice is so ethereal and the music fits it so well that it just carries you away to another space and time. Sub worked his magic again, but he had something great to start with which made his work a lot easier [Linked Image].

Clint

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Thanks Dayson, compliments appreciated.

Hi RD, thanks for stopping to take a listen, nothing wrong with commenting even if it is for future reference [Linked Image] Dont think I had the lyrics posted when you listened. But trying to imagine someone hearing it for the first time I can see you might not catch every word . Not done purposely, maybe just the dreamy mood of the song, but I guess it's a good thing if it caused you to take a second listen.
Yes , what you hear and how it makes you feel is most important I would say. The song was written quite some time ago. You can hear them both on Soundclick.
Sub is a pro at cleaning up the sound, I should know, as the earlier recordings of mine are full of noise and distortion, as this one was. All things to keep in mind and know for future recording,about levels and using a clicktrack. [Linked Image]
He really brought out the best in this one with everything he did. Proves that his level of playing & producing is an art in itself. Check out his links...they say it all.. Thanks again, Sue

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Pow! This song was a big hit with me. I really enjoyed the sound, style and performance. It had a bit of a dreamy retro feel, almost a bit Carpenter-like. I mean that in a good way - comparisons can be taken the wrong way. The chord changes and vibe in the "Running through ..." stanza was very interesting and well done.

I enjoyed the instrumentation to this quite a bit. I'm not sure how this would fit in the radio, but it is a very strong song and has to have a place on the market. It sounds radio ready. Did you sing this in one take? This sounds like a very challenging song to sing with such control.

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Hey Sue. I've got to be honest with you...

SUPERB!

I like the lyrical word-painting, your soothing voice, and your guitar work, Sub's tasteful piano, expressive bass and percussion. Everything added only compliments and showcases your song. And, everything feels like it was tracked at the same time.

You and Sub make a great team, presenting your song to full advantage.

Congrats,
John Green

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Hi Rick Thanks so much, glad to hear it's a favorite of yours. The production in this by SUB clearly makes it stand out from the first recording.

Moker, thanks a lot, all my vocal things were already there as Sub did this on top of my original recording...Thanks so much for listening, your voice is superb!!Sue

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Oh cool a new one from Sue!! I'm excited to go listen--right now hubby is waiting on me, to go out so I gotta run.
I'll listen ASAP!!! Sounds like a HIT!
Linda


------------------
Linda Adams
Read about my novels:
http://www.alyssastory.com
Bits & pieces of music:
www.soundclick.com/lindaadams

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Hi Sue & friends

Thanks for all the wonderful & positive comments about this
heartfelt song. I have to say it is so beautiful I would just in the chair in the studio kinda frozen just listening.
Hard to get anything done when something just puts you in a certain mood. So thanks Sue! I am bummed out enough
everyday and then you sent this song to melt what ever is left of me [Linked Image] lol...

Like "Anywhere USA" this song just hit me immediately.

Clint - is sooo right I had something special to work with
and it makes a big difference.

Scott - VERY good ears my friend.. I to kept going back to that exact spot. No bad notes as i soloed every single track to listen. but some kind of tiny clash or glitch is there. Soloed you cant hear it but together you can.
I wanted to get this done by Friday for Sue so i couldn't spend more that the half hour i did chasing that [Linked Image]

My friend and collaborator Mike came by the studio this week. Mike is great guy but TOUGH! on writers singers and musicians. Meaning if he dont like it he tells ya like it is. In the past he has told soon to be superstars of music to kindly leave his office [Linked Image]
Anyway I played Sue's songs for him and he just LOVED it.
He said to me "How would you like to have that gift, a voice like that" just absolutely beautiful & please tell her I said so "Then he was thinking about which of his songs she could sing down the road. [Linked Image] he liked the changes also
especially in "Anywheres" chords and slide parts...

I was smiling! and happy for Sue he loved the production and playing on both songs.. i can ALWAYS tell when someone is being straight up with me and i can always tell when I got em (For Real) musically

And Sue you definitly got em! If this was 1975 you voice alone would of got you signed [Linked Image] so there you go! Now i would be begging
"please let me at least be in the band" lol...

peace & thanks
Sub


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

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http://www.substudiomusic.com







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Hi,

I did have the eq set where you could hear the lyric more clearly.. excellent point RD.
But the vocals were not on separate tracks so when you make the words clearier it brought up unwanted noise from the guitar and track. Had to go with the less offense distortion and noise then the vocal clarity.

Great observation!

Thanks
again
Sub

[This message has been edited by substudio (edited 12-02-2006).]


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

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http://www.substudiomusic.com







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Very nice song,Sue. Your vocal performance is
great, as always!!!

All the best
Jan Petter

------------------
Music is sounds put into a system.Add an emotion and the system becomes personal.

www.janpettersolheim.com


"You have to react to what's around you in the moment, whatever the music is.
Just think of it as some place you have to enter and you need to find the key."

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Hi, Susan and Sub:

Very pretty melody and vocal, nicely produced. Some thoughts:

- I would cut down the intro. Nice guitar playing, but it's a full 23 seconds before the vocal comes in.

- The first A section should be in the present tense.

- I would end each A section with the hook/title. Listening without a lyric sheet, I couldn't tell what the song was about. Lots of nice images, but I wasn't sure what they added up to.

- Melodically, and perhaps harmonically, I would end the second A section differently from the first.

- "Only you I truly see" is awkward syntax. It doesn't feel conversational.

- "And the bright aura of your body takes" is quite hard to discern without a lyric sheet. It feels wrong to pause the vocal after the word "takes".

Thanks for the listen, which I enjoyed. Good luck!

Mitch

Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by laineytunes@yahoo.com:
I needed this for Fri. of this week. As usual Sub came through . Not only did he get it done, he cleaned up my original tracks (again) played totally awesome lead bass in it, piano and percussion, and of course enhanced it. He did an amazing production here and of course; expert improvising and playing. Thanks again Sub, you're the best. The first version I recorded is below this at Soundclick.

One of the first songs I ever wrote and was my Dad's favorite. He would have loved to hear it recorded like this. It was inspired by a young athlete I met many years ago who was incredibly gifted, could have been in the Majors, but that didnt happen. Life took him elsewhere.
Thanks everyone..hope you enjoy it.

ALL I CAN SEE IS YOU

( words & music by Susan Lainey)

Leaves turned green by a water scene
Flowers in the forest grew
And the willow tree swayed all around me
But I was watching you

People pass, some slow , some fast
They have a place in me
And all the while with their color & style
Only you I truly see

Running through that spacious light
And the bright aura of your body takes
All the awareness that time creates

(instrumental break)

Leaves fall down and winter rolls around
Laughter may seem untrue
And the world may be passing by me
But All I Can See Is You
Oooh...................


lead vocal,acoustic guitar-Susan Lainey
lead bass guitar,piano,percussion-Mike Caro / Substudio

(2006)

www.soundclick.com/susanlainey

www.cdbaby.com/susanlainey[/URL

S....tinyurl.com/rpvtt]www.tinyurl.com/rpvtt


[This message has been edited by laineytunes@yahoo.com (edited 12-01-2006).]
</font>

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Johnboy, good to hear from you again,,So sorry I made you sad.. [Linked Image]it's really not a sad song..but can see how it brings you down to a point that you have to chill out to really listen..So thanks for that..Some of the songs I record , well I guess I'm selfish to a point about getting myself to just slow down , to feel and sing. get away from the madness. Got some rockin love songs coming up ..right after the holidays.. [Linked Image] Truly appreciate your input from such a great artist as yourself...Sue

[This message has been edited by laineytunes@yahoo.com (edited 12-02-2006).]

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Hi Tom T, hey thanks so much for your support here..Subs amazing ..

Sheila, well Linda Ronstadt is just great, and I "borrowed" many vocal sounds from her over the years [Linked Image] amongst many others...Thanks for the compliment and the invite to Nashville..Sue

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Louis, isn't that so dynamic where the bass slams into that place in the song at just the right time? Talk about when to use that to the ultimate and when not to..guess who?

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Hi Scott, those noises who knows? Ghost in the music? Actually I thought it was Submajic putting upright bass riffs or keyboard stuff to drown out my overkills. You do have incredible ears..and perception.But it kind of makes it sound "live" do you think we should remove that.. It has an acoustic noise to it , that kind of makes me wonder, what the?? [Linked Image] Sue

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Hmm, just had to go listen to 1:24 and see what Scott heard. lol... just sounds like fingers on fretboard to me, love that real sound. [Linked Image]


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Hi John, thanks for the pointers..
I think what makes those very sparse verses finish up is the turn around chord.. This is the song I was going to send you, but Sub had already started it.. I needed to have this ready, and I know you guys have done some great work over there., cant wait to hear it..Let's do your song ...Thanks John..Sue

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Sue,

Very, very nice, indeed! Your lyrics and voice, complimented by Sub's tasteful work, are a perfect combination. Kudos to both of you for a superbh effort.

I noticed Jay Britton chiming in as well. I have never worked with Jay or Sub, but from everything I have heard, they both do fabulous work. I think that Jay's visit only validates what I and everyone else has said. I am going to have 2 or 3 demos done in 2007 and I am really undecided where to go. Jay or Sub? Whatever I decide, it will be an excellent choice. Hey, maybe I will have each of them do a cut for me!

Sue, I couldn't agree with you more about a comment you made in reply to another reply. The way Sub brought the bass in was wonderful. It lets you know very quickly that this is going to be a nice listen. It only hilights his skills as an arranger, as well. I really enjoyed it. Gave you a "Hot" over at Soundclick. Best of everything with this. It deserves the best.

Alan

------------------
If I were but half as good as Dawg...I'd be twice as good as most.

Don't take more than your love can buy,
Don't live faster than your angel can fly...
Hal Ketchum

Alan on Soundclick

Alan's Web Site



[This message has been edited by sideman66 (edited 12-02-2006).]

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NiteShift, thank you mate, the goosebumps, well they come with the territory..at least sometimes, then I feel I'm getting something across ..If you are picking that up ...well I'm thankful that you can tell me so..as I value your opinion. What Sub has done with it definately adds to the song in a big way.. Thanks Sue

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Hi Clint,Your recent success is the shining star and your support is appreciated as always..
I know that it's just the beginning of many more to come for you...We all love to dream through our songs..and you deserve every bit of recognition for your great music... Thanks Sue

[This message has been edited by laineytunes@yahoo.com (edited 12-03-2006).]

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Musica, Pow Wow, thanks, dont remember if I did this in one take..but every time I sing it , well it's a bit different..Dont change the chords but maybe the feel. It is short and sweet , which is not always easy (as you know for sure) A lot of my songs tend to be too long, and in the beginning stages,feel I have a lot to say, it's harder to omit. Sometimes it's just the incredible visual thing , to try and capture one moment of feeling without a lot of detail, and let the music speak for the rest..And I never take a comparison, especially one who is loved by so many and a such a talent as Karen Carpenter..that is a high compliment , thank you for that..Sue

[This message has been edited by laineytunes@yahoo.com (edited 12-03-2006).]

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<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by laineytunes@yahoo.com:
But it kind of makes it sound "live" do you think we should remove that.. It has an acoustic noise to it , that kind of makes me wonder, what the?? [Linked Image] Sue</font>


Hey Sue:

I wouldn't elevate my comment to an importance that it doesn't have [Linked Image]

It's barely noticeable - and it does sound natural. Fact is, I wouldn't have even detected it on anyone else's work except Sub's...

Why his? Well, simply because I STUDY it so damn hard [Linked Image]

See ya!
Scott

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AZ, you are so talented, and the recent work you did with Sub I think you borrowed my description of Superb...Isnt it amazing how we can help one another through music? Of course we "hire" one another but it goes way beyond that. God is all around us. Thanks Sue

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Hi Linda , your husband is waiting on you? What's your secret girl.? Dont know about a "Hit" I'm way past being a "Star" just trying to come close to writing a great song.. [Linked Image] Hope your recording is going well. Thanks ,, Sue

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Hi Alan , both Jay and Sub are both great producers..and musicians, and they are strong supporters of each other . I believe you could go with either one of them and never go wrong..Sub doesnt encourage me to send Country music to him , but I have anyway, and Jay is real good with Country..but he also crosses over ...So dont know what else to tell you other than that...They are both GREAT!!!Thanks for the compliments... Sue

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Split Pea how did you include my lyric in your reply if you were without the lyric sheet? Sue

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This is beautiful, Sue and Sub. Best of luck with it.


"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Hello Tricia, thanks a bunch for the listen and compliment. [Linked Image] Sue

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Secret? Shucks, I don't have any secrets. [Linked Image] It was date night (FRIDAY!! yay!! time off from the Mommy hat!! [Linked Image]).

So, I've listened now and it's flat-out gorgeous, as everyone's saying. [Linked Image] I listened to the original a while back, and I remember liking it, but hadn't come back to it since. This version is just amazing--nice work, Sub, on that piano too. Beautiful arranging to go with that exquisite voice. I know it's a sad song, and I can feel that, but it also brings me a certain peace just listening to your voice.

You have that voice quality that I look for in my favorite artists--a certain "something" I can't define very well, but I know it when I hear it. Comparing to Linda R. and Karen Carpenter are good and accurate--I sure hope to hear you on real RADIO someday. [Linked Image]

Never say never!
Linda


Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by laineytunes@yahoo.com:
Hi Linda , your husband is waiting on you? What's your secret girl.? Dont know about a "Hit" I'm way past being a "Star" just trying to come close to writing a great song.. [Linked Image] Hope your recording is going well. Thanks ,, Sue</font>




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Linda Adams
Read about my novels:
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Bits & pieces of music:
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Hi Sub, sorry for the "trancendental" state It was definately intentional on my part [Linked Image] You must have been craving to rock on after this one for sure.. Thanks for all your kindness and guidance and sharing the details about your friend and collaborator Mike. Very cool indeed. A big note of thanks to him for that. I look forward to sending you new material that is clean and ready to really work with. It will be a real treat .
I can't believe, but yet I do, the support from everyone here on this song. I am really trying to get something to happen for us with at least one of these songs..We just never know when anything will.

Your comment about 1975 made me smile. I was at that time playing and traveling around with the first and one of the best bands I ever played with, called Silverado.I learned a lot from them and I'm learning from you now. I consider it an honor to know you and have you playing and being a key influence on my music. I know you were really busy when you tackled this one and I totally appreciate your getting it to me just in time. OK I'm fading here and cant focus any more..as you very well can understand..I know you know [Linked Image] Thanks Sub , for everything... Sue

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It has a forever feel to it Sue....
Beautiful...and more so...since the first time I've listened to it... Very nice work...Sub....and Sue....

The Lyrics...are beautiful Sue........
I think they are the perfect fit...for
the melody........

The very best of luck with this......

best with hugs....
Kaley.....

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<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by splitpeasongs:
Hi, Susan and Sub:

Very pretty melody and vocal, nicely produced. Some thoughts:

- I would cut down the intro. Nice guitar playing, but it's a full 23 seconds before the vocal comes in.

- The first A section should be in the present tense.

- I would end each A section with the hook/title. Listening without a lyric sheet, I couldn't tell what the song was about. Lots of nice images, but I wasn't sure what they added up to.

- Melodically, and perhaps harmonically, I would end the second A section differently from the first.

- "Only you I truly see" is awkward syntax. It doesn't feel conversational.

- "And the bright aura of your body takes" is quite hard to discern without a lyric sheet. It feels wrong to pause the vocal after the word "takes".

Thanks for the listen, which I enjoyed. Good luck!

Mitch

</font>


Hi Mitch,

I wanted to field this feedback as it reminds me
of- well me [Linked Image]

These are excellent observations. I can appreciate the detail and time you put into the feedback thanks.
Also I'm not really trying to defend Sue's song by any means but I wanted to add some thoughts.

I can tell without hearing anymusic at all that you are either a Contemporary Country writer/or artist or a Contemporary Pop writer/or artist.

And if this song was anywhere near those 2 genres I would have to agree with those suggestions 100%
Funny thing is I'm always offering the same similar help to others as I cross over into Pop/rock and Contemporary rock a bunch myself. Also good song formula is also always a good thing.. So do I ever understand a 1000% [Linked Image]

Fortunately those rules don't really apply to this style.
If this 3:24 second song needed any edits it would be in the ending. To cut that guitar intro is criminal activity [Linked Image]
Now when I orchestrated the ending coming out of the bridge with all the chello's and strings it was really peaking and made the song seem even faster arrangement wise. Then i dropped that whole idea.
It wasn't right for this artist. And from another session I was producing i realized how much power you can get out of simplicity.. Those are just thoughts nothing to do with
your suggestions, kinda sharing info here with Sue also.

The "present tense" thing doesn't apply either the imagery
is what counts. That is how Norah Jones wins Grammy's even though I'm not a fan of her songs. Love her stlye though [Linked Image]

Ending each section with the hook "the title" that is Pop
book rules stuff. Good thing Joan Baez never read those Shelia D. books [Linked Image] Great books by the way... really
This is all about a flowing mood and vibe she could have even left the title out of the song.

As the artist you are not selling the song to be covered by
someone else. Both crafts of writing are a great thing.. to achieve. But in this case imagine Ashley Simpson trying to sing a Tori Amos song [Linked Image]


Thanks again & Mitch I look forward to hearing your work and meant to ask a ways back where in NY you were?

Peace & thanks
Sub



[This message has been edited by substudio (edited 12-03-2006).]


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

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Hey Sub and Sue,

Would have to agree with your comments here Sub. The piece ifself is written as a " slice of life " and as such, does not conform ( and shouldn't conform ) to the standard VCVCBVC format. Because of the vocal and lyrical phrasing, and the etherial/subliminal nature of the composition, it is something which just "is" To formulise it would wreck it, it is not bubblegum pop, or standard country, and doesn't need to fit into a little box. When you're an artist and a songwriter, you play what you feel and tidy up the edges.
I think Mitch's points are valid in a different context, but the intrinsic nature of the piece itself dictates it's own direction.

cheers, niteshift

[This message has been edited by sgae (edited 12-03-2006).]

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<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by sgae:
Hey Sub and Sue,

Would have to agree with your comments here Sub. The piece ifself is written as a " slice of life " and as such, does not conform ( and shouldn't conform ) to the standard VCVCBVC format. Because of the vocal and lyrical phrasing, and the etherial/subliminal nature of the composition, it is something which just "is" To formulise it would wreck it, it is not bubblegum pop, or standard country, and doesn't need to fit into a little box. When you're an artist and a songwriter, you play what you feel and tidy up the edges.
I think Mitch's points are valid in a different context, but the intrinsic nature of the piece itself dictates it's own direction.

cheers, niteshift

[This message has been edited by sgae (edited 12-03-2006).]
</font>


Hi Nite,

Good to see & hear from you.. Exactly on the money there.
And yes Mitch is totally valid from a diiferent angle.
I can tell just from his post that he good at what he does.
And he seems like a nice sincere person like YOU!

Hope all is well over there, wish you lived over here You and Accel I could use your help [Linked Image]

peace bro
Sub


[This message has been edited by substudio (edited 12-03-2006).]


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

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Hi Sue and Sub,

I finally realized that you posted this for enjoyment and I mistakenly thought it was for critique. Please forgive my blunder. I'll try to be more careful in the future.

[Linked Image]
rd

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Hi, Sue:

I listened to your song, purposefully, without looking at the lyrics. I wanted to experience the song not as a writer but as a typical listener. When I posted my comments, I looked at the lyrics so that my comments would be more focused.

Hi, Sub:

I'm based in NYC. You can hear some of my songs by checking out the threads that I've started both on the MP3 board and on the Success Stories board. I've written a number of major label singles and album cuts.

Happy Holidays,

Mitch

Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by substudio:
Hi Mitch,

I wanted to field this feedback as it reminds me
of- well me [Linked Image]

These are excellent observations. I can appreciate the detail and time you put into the feedback thanks.
Also I'm not really trying to defend Sue's song by any means but I wanted to add some thoughts.

I can tell without hearing anymusic at all that you are either a Contemporary Country writer/or artist or a Contemporary Pop writer/or artist.

And if this song was anywhere near those 2 genres I would have to agree with those suggestions 100%
Funny thing is I'm always offering the same similar help to others as I cross over into Pop/rock and Contemporary rock a bunch myself. Also good song formula is also always a good thing.. So do I ever understand a 1000% [Linked Image]

Fortunately those rules don't really apply to this style.
If this 3:24 second song needed any edits it would be in the ending. To cut that guitar intro is criminal activity [Linked Image]
Now when I orchestrated the ending coming out of the bridge with all the chello's and strings it was really peaking and made the song seem even faster arrangement wise. Then i dropped that whole idea.
It wasn't right for this artist. And from another session I was producing i realized how much power you can get out of simplicity.. Those are just thoughts nothing to do with
your suggestions, kinda sharing info here with Sue also.

The "present tense" thing doesn't apply either the imagery
is what counts. That is how Norah Jones wins Grammy's even though I'm not a fan of her songs. Love her stlye though [Linked Image]

Ending each section with the hook "the title" that is Pop
book rules stuff. Good thing Joan Baez never read those Shelia D. books [Linked Image] Great books by the way... really
This is all about a flowing mood and vibe she could have even left the title out of the song.

Really though i dont mean to sound negative and do appreciate all the constructive advice and it was constructive and I know Sue does to. I understand the arrangment shopping craft and song rules all to well I been shopping to the largest record label and label President (biggest NO guy in history)since I'm 19 years old till this day. Man is it a tough racket.

Fortunately Sue is an artist and YES! artist with great voices get away with murder [Linked Image] lol.. But you gotta a gorgeous song here & Stlye girl! Your dues are paid in full.. That style got you on the Nip Tuck TV show and will bring more good things your way.

As the artist you are not selling the song to be covered by
someone else. Both crafts of writing are great thing.. to achieve. But in this case imagine Ashley Simpson trying to sing a Tori Amos song [Linked Image]


Thanks again & Mitch I look forward to hearing your work and meant to ask a ways back where in NY you were?

Peace & thanks
Sub

[This message has been edited by substudio (edited 12-03-2006).]
</font>


[This message has been edited by splitpeasongs (edited 12-03-2006).]

[This message has been edited by splitpeasongs (edited 12-03-2006).]

[This message has been edited by splitpeasongs (edited 12-03-2006).]

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