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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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http://www.soundclick.com/pro/default.cfm?BandID=193307&content=music Simple Guy Words and Music By Tom Franz © 2004 V1 Sometimes I want to be by myself No offence to anybody else I’m not mad and I’m not depressed Just need some time to reassess My position in society What are my responsibilities Oh I am just a simple guy Chorus Yeah yeah yeah I'm a simple guy Yeah yeah yeah I'm just a simple guy V2 I’ve got a dog I wish I had a truck We drive around and temp lady luck We’d take the back roads out to the beach Then we’d turn north until we reach That little cove that looks so sweet We’d walk the sunset and be at peace Oh I have got simple dreams Chorus V3 I’ve got a guitar and I have an amp I play all day until my fingers cramp I write songs about vice and sin My favorite part is when the drums kick in I look for power deep inside a song I’ll keep on looking until my hearing’s gone And that should not be very long Chorus
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Tom you got a nice voice, like what you did with the lyrics, chorus need something more I think.
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Hi Tom, I think the lyric is maybe a wee bit *too* simple in places - mainly the last line which is getting into territory inhabited by the likes of Arthur Lee's "Expressions tell everything, I see one on you" - mind you, he got away with that one so what do I know! Musically and vocally this has a great feel, the dynamics are perfect and I love the harmonies on the chorus (I'd fade out on the chorus repeating over and over - Louis got it right, more chorus please!). This has a lot of potential (I've listened to it four times and it definitely grows on you) but the lyric needs a (short) visit to "the song doctor" Bob
Bob Leslie
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Louis, Thank you. Yeah, the chorus is unique. I was trying to be inspired by Cobain. I guess that is why there was only one of him.
Bob, More Chorus too. So do you think more message or just longer? Good idea to fade out. I hate going to the song doctor. They are alway poking around asking questions and stuff. But I'll go. Thanks for the listens and your kind words. Sqbaum, <wiping eyes> I never got a hot vote before! Pretty good idea on the twist at the end. Simple guys would be a bit grumpy by nature.I'll talk to the song doctor about it when I see him or her. And I am begining to get the point the chorus leaves something to be desired. Let me ask you do you think I should dump the distorted guitar and stay acoustic? Thank you for the listen and your good thoughts.
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Tom,
Gave Simple Guy a listen and I have to agree with the other comments. The song starts out mellow, which is cool followed by the chorus kicking in (which I thought was kind of cool because it kind of came out of nowhere) then mellows out into the second verse. So far so good. My "problem" is that after the 2nd chorus the song does not really go anywhere...emotion-wise. A cool bridge section would have been nice to hear which could have lead back into the 3rd verse...I liked the word painting in the 3rd verse when you sang about liking when the drums kick in (and they did at that point), but I think the 3rd verse could have been stronger musically... Not bad though.. I am speaking from a Rocker's point of view as I am pretty long distance when it comes to country...
This is weird but the song kinda started out sounding like a Tom Petty song (which ain't bad).. You may want to refine it a bit..
Hope this helps..
DAC
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Thank you DAC, good idea on the bridge. I will work on that. I think you might be right that a break from the sameness of the melody and emotion could be a good thing.
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I gotta tell ya Tom - "My favorite part is when the drums kick in" is just a KILLER line! Especially when the drums kick in! It's comin' along good. Try to re-record the chorus instead of leavin' it pasted. Get your vocal levels on up there in the chorus at least as loud as in the verses, and do that sweet little harmony thing you do, and that will go a long way. I think you're doing great work. ------------------ Chris http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/chrisgarrettmusic.htm
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Tom, Great to see you are open to suggestions. It's the only way to learn. I agree on the vocals in the chorus as they are a bit weak and can't be heard as clearly as they could be. Its cool how the chorus comes in so it is key that the vocals come up there. As far as emotion, I find it helps to drive the song as you get to the end. Remember though, I am approaching this as i would write in the "rock" vein. If you go to: www.soundclick.com/bands/7/davecostellomusic.htm I have a Contemporary Christian "rock" song called Only in You that you can click on and see what I mean... Keep going man.... DAC
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Hi again, Tom, The more I listen to this (about 8 times now), the more the simple statements in each line seem to fit the basic premise of the song, so it's grown on me. That last line has got to go though! Even Arthur Lee couldn't get away with that one! As far as the chorus is concerned, I don't mind its minimalist approach and I like the guitar as it is. Repeats of what you've got would do me. This song is turning into one of those niggly ones I can't get out of my head. It's gradually pushing out "Pancho And Lefty" which has been driving me crazy since Sunday when I went to a Townes Van Zandt Memorial Concert (4th year running here in Glasgow and jam-packed full) and heard J.T. Van Zandt do his dad's songs (and John does them great). Yes, I think the federales are riding off now but this simple guy's just come in and put his boots on the table. I'd better go off and write one and clear my head . . . All the best, Bob
Bob Leslie
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Here's a suggestion: Do two choruses at the end of V2 but take the second one up a key; then do an instrumental break; then last verse and go out on repeats of the chorus. Scrap present last line of V3 and substitute "And that's my simple song" - every other verse ends with a "simple" reference so that would complete the pattern. All suggestions free of charge but if it hits number one a contribution to the pension fund would be gratefully accepted by my bank manager, Complicated Old Bob
Bob Leslie
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Hey - COB! I kinda like that!
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Trust me all these suggestions are SO WELCOME. I am going to study them and respond properly but
Bob, I just got to ask how do you take it up a key??? the cords are Am G D on the chorus. Whatwould they be if I took it up a key? I alway like when I hear that in a song but I never knew how to do it.
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Up one full step - Bm A E Enjoyed the listen. ------------------ Marty listen here Is there a setting on the digital delay that will allow me to think before I speak?
Marty my home Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again!
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When you get to the D, instead of playing a full bar, play 3 beats then 1 beat of F#7, then start again with Bm A E. Bob
Bob Leslie
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I love it when you guys talk all techy and stuff. It gets me...........cross eyed trying to get my brain to process it all. It's over my head. I like the song, though. I'm not too simple to listen!!! ------------------ "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Hey Tom, I really like the song. I had to listen to some of your other stuff to compare. Being able to mix folk and power chord rock is great. I love style mixing when it works. Your voice is reminicient of David Bowie or Ric Ocasek. You could fill in some of the bare spots, but that might mess with the great vocal. Its hard to describe what it is about it. its not a 'top of the pop charts' song - more like 'everyones favorite album cut'. and personally I think the best music is not what gets released as singles. I also think you should try putting it under alternative rock instead of country. It just might be a 'top of the college charts' kind of song. Doug http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/dougbarnett.htm http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dougbarnett http://barnett.artgirlstudios.com/index.htm
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Doug, Thanks so much. You made my day with your comments. Is that Ric Ocasek the Cars guy? Everything you said is such a compliment. I never have any idea how to categorize my music. Because the truth is I am not the hugest country fan, I am becoming more of a fan as my knowledge of the craft of songwriting improves. But I heard this one band I liked in Alternative Country called Uncle Tupelo, so I chose that category. So Alternative Rock you think, I’ll try that in the future. Thanks again, Tom
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Tom, I actually heard this a few days ago... got a bit distracted, but I'm finally back! Ok, the songwriting is fine, the message good with cute title & hook. The vocals: very good and instrumental performance excellent! Also, the production ain't too bad either. All around, good job. This song delivers! The rest is a matter of "tweaking" to suit depending on how fancy a "simple guy" wants to get! Marty, Chris & Bob all have great advice about the modulation. Bob's 3 beat transition followed by F#7 on the 4th count before continuing with the Bm, could be the ticket if you like it. Regardless, going from Am to Bm gives you a two semi-tone pitch lift. In this case it's a whole chord, but or course it's still 2 semi-tones. If you only wanted to go up one semi-tone, you'd have to modulate to Bmb (B minor flat) followed by Ab and Eb, etc. Not too difficult if you know where your bar chords are on the guitar... otherwise we'll save that for another lesson! Anyway, all fun stuff & good taking with you! Michael B.
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -- Johann Sebastian Bach MichaelBorges.comLicenseQuote.com
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Michael, Thanks so much for the positive review and your advice. I am going to try to take it up a full key. I have always liked that when I have heard it in other songs and I was never sure how to do it. I can’t wait to try it. Let me ask you one more question about taking it up a key, if I do that on the chorus of the second verse the third verse and final chorus will have to all be in that elevated key right? Thanks, Tom
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Tom, Just happened to get back here to see your question. Yes, everything after the key change (verse & chorus, etc.) will stay in the new key. I don't use the "Key change" technique on each project, but on some songs it can really help set it apart! Michael B.
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -- Johann Sebastian Bach MichaelBorges.comLicenseQuote.com
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