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#2162 - 01/22/01 09:35 PM Don't Do Me Wrong  
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 22
Cris / Needs Music Offline
Casual Observer
Cris / Needs Music  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 22
USA
I submitted another song Last Friday that didn't receive any comments and I am trying to figure if that means nobody liked it? Well, Here's a new one:

Don't Do Me Wrong
By Cris Beffort
© 2000

I'm looking for a man to set me free
Someone that is not afraid of me
Will you be the one to take my hand
Pull me from the grip of all this sand

(Chorus)
Don't do me wrong
Cause its been way too long
Waiting for a man to pull me free
Looking,
Searching
Body
Hurtin
Every bone thatís in my body says
That I can't
No way
Got to
Go, Hey
Quicksands pullin, whats so hard to see
Quicksands pullin, won't let go of me


Grab my hand, what are you waiting for
You always said that you wanted more
I don't think that I can't free myself
My love is yours for just a little help

(Chorus)

I'm not sure whats been on your mind
Can't you see I'm running out of time
Grab my hand, cause I'm the one for you
I'm counting on your love to pull me thru

(Chorus)

#2163 - 01/22/01 10:55 PM Re: Don't Do Me Wrong  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 228
Maye Offline
Serious Contributor
Maye  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 228
Canada
hi Chris
i gather you are female--pkau--I' sometimes get on here and go hogwild--

I thought "grab" was a mite harsh and I also thought you ought to have quicksand in there sooner--even as the title--for a grabber? i did this rather roughly?
Make any sense?

cheers
Mae
Quicksand?

1.) You're the man who will set me free
A man who's not afraid of me
The one who can see, and take my hand
Whose strength will pull me from this grip of sand.

CH)
Quicksand's pullin, can't you see
Quicksand's pullin, won't let go of me
Don't do me wrong
Cause it's been way too long
Waiting for a man to pull me free
Looking,
Searching
Body
Hurtin
Every bone in my body says
That I can't
No way
Got to
Go, Hey


2.)
Take my hand, don't wait no more
You're the man I've been waiting for
I can't seem to free myself
My love is for you, no one else.

(Chorus)

I'm not sure what's been on your mind
Can't you see I'm short of time
Take my hand, cause I'm the one for you
I'm counting on your love to pull me thru

(Chorus)

#2164 - 01/22/01 11:12 PM Re: Don't Do Me Wrong  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 360
Jim Ryan Offline
Serious Contributor
Jim Ryan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 360
Philly, PA
Hey Cris. I liked this. I thought it was a little rough in some spots, but I thought Mae did a great job with what she did. I also would change the title to "Quicksand's Pullin". I think it stands out a little more. Nice job though.

#2165 - 01/23/01 10:26 PM Re: Don't Do Me Wrong  
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 22
Cris / Needs Music Offline
Casual Observer
Cris / Needs Music  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 22
USA
Thanks Maye for the reply - Your attention to a posting is admirable - I appreciate the feedback. I like the new arrangement better then the original - I'll work on it some more. By the way I am a Guy - sometimes I like to write from another perspective because thats the way the song feels like it need to go!

#1124866 - 03/04/17 02:19 PM Re: Don't Do Me Wrong [Re: Cris / Needs Music]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Jim Colyer Offline
Top 30 Poster
Jim Colyer  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Nashville, Tennessee usa
Not many things worse than sinking in quicksand.

#1126294 - 04/06/17 10:11 AM Re: Don't Do Me Wrong [Re: Cris / Needs Music]  
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,222
Lynman Bacolor Offline
Lynman Bacolor  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,222
Caloocan, Philippines
cris
impressive lyrical arrangement by mae... she should be a part of this lyrics when melody is added. just a suggestion try to add some bridge to your song like this one

cant move on if i try
the more i sink
the only way is to hold my hand
and pull me up in this quicksand

goodluck

lynman


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