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#151423 - 02/13/05 03:47 PM Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Nov 2002
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RJC Offline
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Apple Valley, CA, USA
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, who has a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes


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#151424 - 02/13/05 03:53 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Patrick Bryant Offline
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Glendale, CA, USA
The city of Minneapolis must surely be in mourning today...



------------------
Later,

Pat

#151425 - 02/13/05 06:17 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Joe Wrabek Offline
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Joe Wrabek  Offline
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Garibaldi, OR USA
Really sorry to hear this. I often thought of him as half-baked, but never overdone. And certainly not a Moldy Oldie. I figured with all those preservatives in him, he'd be poppin' fresh for a long time.

Joe

#151426 - 02/14/05 12:44 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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David Wright Offline
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I always thought he was a little flakey.
Or maybe he was dating a cresent roll.

#151427 - 02/14/05 06:15 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Bob Young (D) Offline
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Bob Young (D)  Offline
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chicago il usa
Nothin' says lovin'
Like a fresh corpse in the oven....

I'm gonna miss the little fella..

Bob (back to Bisquick) Young

#151428 - 02/14/05 08:52 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Kaley Willow Offline
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[Linked Image] [Linked Image].... Very grave situation.......Ya know....all these..years.....I never realized..Pop Tart...was Doughboy's Dad....
The things you learn at JPF...truly help
me .......

thanks for sharing.....

with tears.... [Linked Image].
Kaley

#151429 - 02/14/05 02:51 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Joseph Offline
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Sadly his expectant wife and children will have to start completely over. His last get rich quick scheme, "the bakers dozen" fell completely flat and apparently all he left for his family was a few crumbs.

A close family friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, reports that he suffered from a gambling addiction for years. He is rumored to have owed the famous crime family, the Keebler Elves, several thousand dollars at the time of his death. Is it just me or does anyone else think his death looks a little suspicious?

#151430 - 02/14/05 04:05 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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David Wright Offline
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David Wright  Offline
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I heard the Gingerbread man muscled in on that territory now, and that the Toll house (or Crib) the elves lived in mysteriously burned down in a gas oven explosion, ruled a accident by lead investigator E.L. Fudge.

#151431 - 02/14/05 04:27 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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RobertK Offline
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You crumbs call these half-baked puns wit? I've seen cookies tossed over better! Consider yourselves panned.

#151432 - 02/14/05 05:59 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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cozmicslop Offline
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Rumor has it, the muffin man caught him cooking the books.

#151433 - 02/14/05 11:51 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Jean Bullock Offline
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So, it finally happened. He is toast. I begged him to lay off the yeast, but he wouldn't listen. He should have made millions but his cookie cutter mentality got in the way.

I see from the report that Aunt Jemima's eulogy was on the syrupy side. How like her.


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#151434 - 02/15/05 12:34 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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John Voorpostel Offline
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Poor Poppin' Fresh. Not minutes after he went to the great oven in the sky, and while millions of streusel cakes were still in mourning and lamenting the loss of their moistness and fluffiness, others began jostling for our lovable friend's position.

Expected to be passed over because they are next on the "Death List 2005" , are Graham Wafers and Betty Crocker....


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#151435 - 02/15/05 09:11 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Diane Ewing Offline
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You Folks are a riot!!!

All of you have had me laughing since
yesterday over this!!

Thanks everyone and keep it going!!

Diane


Diane Ewing
#151436 - 02/15/05 10:57 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Everett Adams Online content
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I heard he and Aunt Jemima had a roll in the flour just before going in the oven,they were caught and came out half baked.He got a little crusty but soon began to crumble with embarrassment,he showed a tough exterior but inside he was soft as dough.


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#151437 - 02/15/05 01:44 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Jean Bullock Offline
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Well I heard Mrs. Buttersworth was sweet on him too.


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#151438 - 02/25/05 10:28 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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HP Offline
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Well he was definitely poppin' something.
When the truth comes out, the headlines will read...
Pills Bury Doughboy

#151439 - 02/25/05 10:42 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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johnnie7au Offline
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DOH!

I was working as a private investigator on the case. I need to know if the funeral cost a lot of bread and if people took the rise out of Pilsbury on a regular basis? Was pregnant miss Jane doh "knocked up" or "knocked down"? Did the shoe pastry really fit or was she really a Tart?

[This message has been edited by johnnie7au (edited 02-25-2005).]

#151440 - 02/26/05 08:07 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Jean Bullock Offline
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I heard the funeral WAS a lot of bread. When his wife got the batch of bills, at first she was really heated up over it. Later she kept crying and when she got done with that, sat in the kitchen for days with a glazed look on her face. Her mascara was all caked too.


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#151441 - 02/27/05 04:36 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Joe Wrabek Offline
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So if the funeral was a lot of bread, does that mean the next headline we'll see is "Bills Bury Doughboy's Honey"? I mean, it's not like Honey was rolling in dough...

Joe

[This message has been edited by roxhythe (edited 02-27-2005).]

#151442 - 03/01/05 01:46 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Jun 2004
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TONMEISTER Offline
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While these are good puns for coffee, let's remember our grammatical rules.
Several years in the word game have learnt me some memorable rules:
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what YOU know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is absolutely, universally always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
...and finally,
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

------------------
Preserving Artistic Intent


Preserving Artistic Intent
#151443 - 03/01/05 03:09 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Joe Wrabek Offline
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...And like Prof. Dr. Zelda Myshkin, D. Sc., B.A., D.D., said, avoid citing famous experts nobody ever heard of.

Good tribute to the Doughboy--fluffy, and a little overdone.

Joe

#151444 - 03/01/05 03:38 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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Joseph Offline
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lol

24. Pretermit dangling participles. [Linked Image]

#151445 - 03/01/05 06:57 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
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johnnie7au Offline
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Newsflash ..

Spotty Dick (a pudding if ever there was one) has just been battered after being mistaken for a very old flaky pastry. The assailant apparently was very saucy and quite fruity and used rather spicy language. The Sultana of Brownie has used his loaf and offered a considerable reward and has vowed to keep currant with the news and has informed us that he will see what rises.

Locking this fruitcake away for a long time in the cookie jar or the steamer would surely be the icing on the cake!



[This message has been edited by johnnie7au (edited 03-01-2005).]

#151446 - 03/01/05 10:15 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Mar 2003
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MandolinAnn Offline
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Joined: Mar 2003
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in Phoenix, AZ now
Now.. I heard through the grapevine that those California Raisins claimed him to be the ride of the life. I hear at the reception they were singing "I'm so glad we had this time together.. just to have a laugh and sing a song... seems we just get started and before you know it.. comes the time we have to say so long".

#151447 - 03/02/05 06:37 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Mar 2004
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rodhughey Offline
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Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by johnnie7au:
DOH!

I was working as a private investigator on the case. I need to know if the funeral cost a lot of bread and if people took the rise out of Pilsbury on a regular basis? Was pregnant miss Jane doh "knocked up" or "knocked down"? Did the shoe pastry really fit or was she really a Tart?

[This message has been edited by johnnie7au (edited 02-25-2005).]
</font>


Jane Dough did have a bun in the oven...After the funeral somebody caught her pie-eyed and scortching about how he filled her heart with jelly and her heart is flat as a pancake.

Consequently, all the heavy drinking led to the birth of a rum-cake that popped out well before it was done and now she has the burden of knowing it's her fault he's all mixed up. All the excitement really has made her a nervous rack.

Cheers,

Rodney

#151448 - 08/09/05 04:06 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,363
John Voorpostel Offline
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Its a miracle.... he's risen from the dead. I saw him on the shelves just the other day!


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

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#151449 - 08/09/05 04:31 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Jul 2005
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Lady Fitzgerald Offline
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Lady Fitzgerald  Offline
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Tempe, AZ , USA
Rumour has it, upon hearing of Poppin Fresh's demise, Homer Simpson's only comment was, "Dough!"


------------------
Jeannie


Jeannie

#151450 - 08/09/05 04:42 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Jun 2005
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mattbanx Offline
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Northern Minnesota
Maybe Pillsbury has an off spring.
I always kind of pictured him as a nanny male.

#151451 - 08/09/05 04:48 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Nov 2003
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Joe Wrabek Offline
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Joe Wrabek  Offline
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Garibaldi, OR USA
I believe the comment "He is risen" was applied to another famous figure who *didn't* come in a box. The one you saw on the shelves was probably an impersonator--an interloafer, as it were.

Joe
www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm

P.S. And thanks, everybody, for keeping this thread going past its pull date.

#151452 - 08/09/05 04:57 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 295
abraham is burning Offline
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"The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes"

GREAT CLOSER. Im not sure how many people actually got that.... It even took me a couple minutes.

This sounds like something you would read in THE ONION. If anyone likes this post, they should check out THE ONION.(a satire newspaper)


"Writing gives me a shoulder to cry on, so that when Im around those who would give me their shoulder to cry on, I can use it to laugh instead"
#151453 - 08/09/05 05:04 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 295
abraham is burning Offline
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abraham is burning  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 295
New York, NY
What was up with Captain Crunch....everyone else took part in the funeral and helped out....Mr. Crunch just stood on the side.


"Writing gives me a shoulder to cry on, so that when Im around those who would give me their shoulder to cry on, I can use it to laugh instead"
#151454 - 08/09/05 05:31 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,363
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,363
Interloafer... brilliant [Linked Image]

But no he wasn't. It was definitely our favourite doughboy and he was not, repeat, not, past his expiry date. I checked.


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#151455 - 08/09/05 08:10 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,329
Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,329
Texas
When I called my distant relatives, Snap, Crackle and Pop, they informed me that the sad news had been previously relayed to them by Sara Lee, Doughboy's other sugar cookie.
May this much kneaded icon rest in pieces.

RICE

#151456 - 08/09/05 09:56 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Joe Wrabek Offline
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Joe Wrabek  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Garibaldi, OR USA
Folks just can't resist this tribute thread, can they? It was the same when he was alive--everybody stuck it to him then, too. Good to feel kneaded, I guess. And they say you never failed to get a rise out of him.

Poor Sara. Bet she's just frosted. A little cold, but hey, nobody didn't like Sara Lee...

Joe
www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm

[This message has been edited by roxhythe (edited 08-09-2005).]

#151457 - 08/10/05 12:09 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 65
nitetrainwayne Offline
Serious Contributor
nitetrainwayne  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 65
florida
i hear they're collecting doughnations to defray the costs of the funeral

#151458 - 03/24/06 06:59 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,311
Brian Austin Whitney Offline
Brian Austin Whitney  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,311
Indianapolis, IN USA
I thought I would "resurrect" this post about the late PDB

= )


[This message has been edited by Brian Austin Whitney (edited 03-24-2006).]


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
Just Plain Folks
jpfolkspro@aol.com
Skype: Brian Austin Whitney

"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney


#151459 - 03/24/06 01:01 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Joe Wrabek Offline
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Joe Wrabek  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Garibaldi, OR USA
Brian, I don't think you needed to. Wasn't he self-rising?

Joe
www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm

#151460 - 03/24/06 01:26 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 401
Midnite Bob Offline
Serious Contributor
Midnite Bob  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 401
D.C.
Thanks Brian,

I kneaded a laugh today.

Midnite

Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Brian Austin Whitney:
I thought I would "resurrect" this post about the late PDB

= )


[This message has been edited by Brian Austin Whitney (edited 03-24-2006).]
</font>




------------------
Satchel was right...Something is gaining on me....
www.jackcouldntmakeit.com


Satchel was right...Something is gaining on me....
http://www.jackcouldntmakeit.com
#151461 - 03/28/06 02:22 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,311
Brian Austin Whitney Offline
Brian Austin Whitney  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,311
Indianapolis, IN USA
Hey Yolks,

I figured there's be more puns to enjoy! Jump in!

Brian


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
Just Plain Folks
jpfolkspro@aol.com
Skype: Brian Austin Whitney

"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney


#151462 - 03/28/06 03:57 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Joe Wrabek Offline
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Joe Wrabek  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Garibaldi, OR USA
I dunno, Brian. The news could be getting stale...

Didn't they decide it was a hearth condition?

Joe
www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm

[This message has been edited by roxhythe (edited 03-28-2006).]

#151463 - 03/29/06 03:09 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1
fosterma Offline
Casual Observer
fosterma  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1
Bixby, Oklahoma USA
Truly sad. He was a true American icon. And, such a well bread fellow.

#151464 - 03/30/06 04:10 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 4,297
Michael Borges (D) Offline
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Michael Borges (D)  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 4,297
Lake Elsinore, California
Finally something truly news worthy!
Thanks Rob... you saved the day and I hope it happens again... maybe this year?

Stay sweet as you are! [Linked Image]
Michael

------------------
The OUTLOOK may often appear bleak, but the UPLOOK is always bright!
Michael Borges
Praiseworthy Productions

[This message has been edited by Michael Borges (edited 03-30-2006).]


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -- Johann Sebastian Bach

MichaelBorges.com
LicenseQuote.com
#151465 - 03/30/06 06:59 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 411
Russ Clayton Offline
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Russ Clayton  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 411
Bradford, Ontario, Canada
I think you guys are making way too much of this. I heard he was totally bent out of shape by the end, carrying around a few extra rolls in the mid-section. So stop buttering this guy up! You're making Julia Child "turnover" in her grave. His life wasn't as floury as you all think it was. At yeast that's what I heard, anyways.

[This message has been edited by russy67 (edited 03-30-2006).]

#151466 - 05/03/06 06:45 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,311
Brian Austin Whitney Offline
Brian Austin Whitney  Offline


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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,311
Indianapolis, IN USA
You know all these buns sure could make us some dough..


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
Just Plain Folks
jpfolkspro@aol.com
Skype: Brian Austin Whitney

"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney


#151467 - 05/03/06 09:09 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 6,331
Everett Adams Online content
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Everett Adams  Online Content
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 6,331
,NL Canada
Do we knead this all over again.I don't think we should sugarcoat his passing.I hear he was rolling in dough and greased every hand that came his way.

Everett


The more you taste the bitterness of defeat, the sweeter final victory will be

May the flowers of love forever bloom in your garden of life

http://www.soundclick.com/newsflashsounds

http://www.soundclick.com/newsflashgospel

www.cdbaby.com/all/eca333

www.showcaseyourmusic.com/newsflashsounds
#151468 - 05/03/06 10:27 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Joe Wrabek Offline
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Joe Wrabek  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,400
Garibaldi, OR USA
Maybe it's because his will hasn't potassiumed through sorbate yet. (Sorry.)

Joe
www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm

#151469 - 05/03/06 10:37 AM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 369
richard murrey Offline
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richard murrey  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 369
Palmetto, Florida
it was just last yeaster sunday that his followers rose up, got baked and loafed about the day recounting his influences as a founding force of the flour power movement... we sifted many memories. pam was very close to him, but he never stuck with her as it panned out. marge areen, buttered him up real good and knived through his dough leaving him a crusty, stale old crumb at the end... but he had a good roll and will be missed.

sop it up.
r.

------------------
http://cdbaby.com/all/chevyford

#151470 - 05/03/06 12:26 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8,318
Tricia Baker Offline
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Tricia Baker  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8,318
Greenwood, LA USA
You really knew how to rock and roll. Come back! I knead you. [Linked Image]

------------------
"Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most."~~Bob Dylan

www.giddygirlmusicpublishing.com


"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
#151471 - 05/04/06 04:03 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,363
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,363
I don't normally speak ill of the dead, but I heard he was a junkie and that pills buried him....


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#151472 - 05/04/06 04:10 PM Re: Loss of a great entertainer...  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,363
John Voorpostel Offline
Top 10 Poster
John Voorpostel  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,363
Ahhh HP, I see you got this rumour started [Linked Image] I guess I could not have come up with this half baked notion myself..


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
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