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#1174013 - 02/15/21 02:09 AM Streets of New York  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
STREETS OF NEW YORK

Need a heart of gold
flesh and blood to hold
Someone to rely on
as nights grow cold
A vision of beauty
in this lonely city
Through crowded sidewalks
on streets of New York
b
Grifters beggars
whores bootleggers
all existing together.
-
Conscience'well weathered
rushing everywhere.
like taxi cabs chasing fares

A seat in the park
leaving before dark
collar up to the wind
as stray dogs bark
Wishing I had someone
dreaming the sun shone
Strangers never talk
on streets of New YORK

b
Grifters beggars
whores bootleggers
all existing together.
-
Conscience'well weathered
rushing everywhere.
like taxi cabs chasing fares

On the streets of New York


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1174222 - 02/21/21 03:10 PM Re: Streets of New York [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,044
Gary E. Andrews Online content
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content

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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,044
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
The idea of finding someone with whom to experience, to make tolerable the sordid realities of "Streets of New York" seems to be the main idea.
Verse II 'Wishing I had someone' reemphasizes that idea, which opened Verse I, (I) 'need a heart of gold', 'someone'.

With a city as famous as New York I think you need Rhyme-Words to set up for it.
I'd run through the alphabet and see if a Rhyme-Word inspires a Line that could be coherent in the story.
bore, born, boor, boar, core, cork, court, door, drawer, floor, for, fork, four, form, moor, more, orb, pour, pore, pork, score, scorn, shore, sore, soar, store, stork, tore, torn, carnivore, whore.

In what you identify as the Bridge you do more exposition on New York, not the desire for a person to share it with.
I would think that would be a Change of Melody and Lyric to emphasize what's important in the Song.
"Grifters beggars whores bootleggers..." Where's the longing for the 'someone'?


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1174250 - 02/23/21 06:41 AM Re: Streets of New York [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Cheers Gary
A few good points there
Another rewrite coming
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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