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#1173578 - 01/26/21 03:07 PM Your Mistake  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 676
Ricky Layne Offline
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Ricky Layne  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 676
Oregon
One question I have: Is the word "touch" too weird for the end of the chorus? I originally had "meet" but was just wanting a stronger word there.

Open for any other suggs too!

Thanks.


YOUR MISTAKE

You tossed me in a river 
A child you couldn't claim
Now I'm a lonely drifter
Did you ever feel ashamed?

I grew up never knowing you
I grew up in the sea
You never came to rescue
But did you ever miss me?

I live in a haze
Surrounded by waves

Somehow I survived our broken ties
And I guess I'm doing fine
I wonder if your still alive
In some sort of disguise
And would you ever want to touch
Your mistake

I never asked to be here
But thanks for your mistake
I know one thing is crystal clear
I'm a glass that can only break

Without me in the way
Was the love you found enough?
Without me in the way
We're you able to rise above?

Somehow I survived our broken ties
And I guess I'm doing fine
I wonder if your still alive
In some sort of disguise
And would you ever want to touch
Your mistake



YOUR MISTAKE

You tossed me in a river
A boy you never claimed
Now I'm a lonely drifter
Did you ever feel ashamed?

I grew up never knowing you
I grew up in the sea
You never came to rescue
But did you ever miss me?

I live in a haze
Surrounded by waves

Somehow I survived our broken ties
I long to see your eyes
I wonder if your still alive
In some sort of disguise
When I dream you find me
Paralyzed


I find a way to be assured
Then I think I'm a mistake
Sorry that I'm so veneer
I feel weak but I won't break


I'm lost in a maze
Becoming it's slave


Somehow I survived our broken ties
I long to see your eyes
I wonder if your still alive
In some sort of disguise
When I dream you find me
Paralyzed

Last edited by Ricky Layne; 01/29/21 07:43 PM.
#1173581 - 01/26/21 07:13 PM Re: Your Mistake [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,254
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,254
south of the mason,dixon line
in this are you referring to ..like a woman that gave this person up? as a child? I thinking so.

So thinking that..."do you ever wonder... we all make mistakes".. to me this is more general.

to me, in the write your saying your mistake, that is an assumption. this person might not think so...maybe she/he had nothing and wanted you to have something better than she/he could give you. some people think like that. that person she/he might have had a circumstance. that warranted that action. Know what I mean? Just my thought. Lane

like the lyric..


Last edited by lane1777; 01/26/21 07:18 PM.


"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent
#1173582 - 01/26/21 08:10 PM Re: Your Mistake [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 676
Ricky Layne Offline
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Ricky Layne  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 676
Oregon
Lane

I absolutely agree with you and maybe "your mistake" is a bad theme.

But my thought was from the child's perspective growing up they could think they're a mistake? And reaching out to the parent in this way might make the parent get it touch to explain. Mistake or no mistake.

I think the child at some point figures they are a mistake.

I get it though. It's not a clear lyric yet. It certainty doesn't have to be "your mistake".

Thank you!

#1173583 - 01/26/21 08:58 PM Re: Your Mistake [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,254
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,254
south of the mason,dixon line
ok, I see now, if your anything like me, I have to rewrite and rewrite...lol and then when I think its ok, I post it?
and have to edit that! there are lots of people around that give their thoughts on the boards so you`ll have help. with others here, I have some ok songs. you have a great night and lots of luck with this. Lane



"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent
#1173636 - 01/29/21 07:44 PM Re: Your Mistake [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 676
Ricky Layne Offline
Top 500 Poster
Ricky Layne  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 676
Oregon
Thanks Lane.

Updated some of the lyrics.

#1173697 - 02/01/21 01:08 PM Re: Your Mistake [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 118
CTthomas Online content
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CTthomas  Online Content
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 118
Maybe change touch to “heal”.


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