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Joined: Jul 2017
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Blind
They’re almost imperceptible; Go unnoticed every day. They’re nature’s tiny miracles. Just look and be amazed. Weeds with ornate flowers As beautiful as jewels Trampled on as we walk Not watching what we do.
You say there are no miracles But brothers you are blind. If you’d just take a look They’re everywhere to find. It’s a pity, it’s a pity That we’re all so blind.
A tiny bird goes unseen Amid boughs and leaves of trees With her emerald colored feathers A work of art to see. A tapestry of color Afloat upon the breeze A butterfly flutters by That no one seems to see.
You say there are no miracles But brothers you are blind. If you’d just take a look They’re everywhere to find. It’s a pity, it’s a pity That we’re all so blind.
A raindrop is a prism A rainbow to behold. a leaf that turns in the sun and changes into gold. Paintings on a palette Creations of the lord Everywhere to be found To us they go ignored.
You say there are no miracles But brothers you are blind. If you’d just take a look They’re everywhere to find. It’s a pity, it’s a pity That we’re all so blind.
Ckiphen
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Joined: Jan 2001
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HI I like this. At first I "almost" stumbled when I saw "imperceptible" ... almost LOL .. but, it rolled right off the tongue, it is a fun word to sing. You paint some really nice pictures with your words. Mother Nature's simple beauty.
Nicely done, Joanne
Last edited by Joanne Lurgio; 01/07/21 09:48 PM.
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Joined: Jul 2017
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Ckiphen
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Joined: May 2001
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Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: May 2001
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Really nice idea and lyric. The only thing that pops out to me as perhaps a spot to re-visit would be second verse where you end two lines with the word "see". From a lyrical perspective, I've learned that's generally something you want to avoid if possible.
Apart from that, really good work.!! Would love to hear the finished song some time.
Duane!!!!
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Joined: Jul 2017
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Yep I try to avoid that rhyme too.
Ckiphen
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Joined: Oct 2001
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I love the premise but I always try to avoid being "preachy".. like.. why can't we all just.. etc etc
You might have more luck if you take one circumstance and build a story around it to keep the listener engaged from one verse to the next.. as in.. "what's gonna happen next".... in the framework it is now, I already know what you are trying to say in the 1st verse, so I really don't need to hear the rest... does that make sense?
Maybe a story about you yourself walked by everyday... and didn't notice... then B happened then C happened.. and I realized D. (?)
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Yes I meant it to be as you say preachy.
Ckiphen
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