I wrote this a long time ago and I'm thinking of recording it again. It's long and I don't even know what genre it fits into. The ending has the same idea as Hey Jude and I wanted the guitar bits to be sung like McCartney did or Steve Tyler does a lot, but I can't hit those notes. If it smells funny it's because it's been sitting on my laptop for 15 years or so, fermenting...

Anyway, here it is:

https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14182232

Thanks,

Dan

Hi Daniel,

I saw your song posted yesterday, finally getting back as I've been away from my computer much the last couple of days.

I think you have a great start here with this song, and it certainly has a "catchy" melody that sticks with you. I'm going to suggest after "When I'm calling" vs. go to a short solo interlude to give the song a "break" from the verbal "answer me's." This solo will allow empower your last chorus from this return.

Also on your first verse, to better create more "song build," do not accentuate the "Answer me's'" as strongly, let them culminate stronger as the song unfolds more gradually--JMO.

Now I love the "Beatle-esk" musical feel and arrangement! It's brilliant, maybe soften the bass guitar slightly, although I like how it's strongly pronounced, yet it could benefit from being less piercing since it's not getting lost in the mix where it needs heavy compression or more treble. I do like how you are letting it be strong however.

If you're going to "transition" into a long outro--the song's vibe dictates somewhat if that transition will work. I think with this song you can certainly do that, but I think the outro should be more musical and less distortion, yet definitely find a unique instrument arrangement. What you have, (and maybe that's what you want/envision, as it is your artistic expression), is a pretty harsh outro. If the long outro is important to you, I think you should experiment a bit more with instrumentation & melody and maybe shorten it some, maybe a contrasting yet building outro that fades gradually with a lone flute playing the main melody.

Definitely potential, sorry if I tired your ears, and my opinion is just that--opinion and alternative ideas! Daniel--great start!

steady-eddie

Hi Steady-Eddie,

I understand not being here as much as you'd like. I've been so busy with my job and remodeling work on my house and taking care of an elderly relative, that I haven't had time to play with a Tascam DP-32SD Recording Studio I bought two weeks ago. And that's why I posted this song. I'm trying to find one I've written and recorded as a demo that needs better treatment.

I'm glad you mentioned that the song would benefit from a solo (and why it would benefit). I've had this song around for a while but I never added a solo because I never had the inspiration to create one. But now, I think, by recording it again with my new toy, I find it a welcome challenge.

I will tone down the "Answer Me's" in the first verse. It's not something I noticed, but I will listen to it and make the change. I can't wait to see the difference.

Thank you for the kind words! "Brilliant" will go to my head! But, I did learn from the feedback of "Tell Me What You Were Thinking Of" to tone the bass down. The pronouncing of the bass is likely due to the influence of McCartney's bass being so prominent. I wanted to re-do it anyway. This bass was just one take, mostly ad-libbed. And it was during a rare moment when my Cakewalk Sonar Professional software and my laptop was working properly. I have a Tascam DP-006 that I've recorded bass on and it sounds amazing, so I can wait to try it on the DP-32SD.

I'm glad you picked up on the transition to the outro too. I knew that was ugly. And that's largely due to recording software and laptop latency issues. I'm going to smoothen that transition. It's been bothering me for a while.

I've given some thought to shortening the outro. I've got some ideas already. It does need to be not as harsh. I can't explain my intension, but I hope it will become more apparent in the new version.

I value you're opinion, Steady-Eddie. It helped me a lot on my first song here, so don't think I'm taking offense.

I needed some inspiration, so this helped me a lot!

Thank you, sir,

Dan