Sure would like to have someone do a better vocal than me on this one, but let me know what you think.

All In Your Heart
IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEART

Your heart never stops
looking for love
when you've got your mind's eye closed
You think you're going crazy
how can you be so blind
when you think its all in your mind

You have every chance
to see the warning signs
You try to tell yourself
that's its all in your mind
If you could describe it 
you can't even start 
cus its not all in your mind
its all in your heart

You think your in control
but only your heart will know
You're losing your mind
and its about time
cus love has a mind of its own

It's just the fear of falling 
making your knees weak
you won't believe in something
that you can't see
When the floor drops out 
and you're in the dark 
that's when you know it's not
all in your mind
it's all in your heart

CHORUS


They haven't found a cure
there's nowhere you can hide
no nothing you can take
to get you off this ride
when the roller coaster falls 
and you're in too far 
that's when you know it's not
all in your mind
it's all in your heart

Cus your heart never stops
looking for love
when you've got your minds eye closed
You think you're going crazy
how can you be so blind
when you think it's all in your mind
it's all in yout heart
it's all in your heart
it's all in your heart

copyright Kay-lynn Carew, BMI

Kay-lynn,

I love the flow and metering of these lyrics with the music. Your vocals are fine too--sweet voice with great pitch control as well. I felt a 70's pop feel with this tune--a lot of current artists love those vibes and enjoy putting their spin on them. I wasn't sure I was hearing harmony? -- which means I'd recommend raising that harmony level of a couple db and maybe widen it to one side or the other about 40-60%--experiment. But that harmony will enhance the song, if heard better. JMO

Enjoyed this listen for sure!

steady-eddie

Well written and well done.
Sweet melody. Nice voice.

_ _ _ _ _
Have fun!

Thank you Eddie!! I agree about the extra harmony................... you read my mind.!

Thank you Guy...... I appreciate you taking a listen.!

A Lyric of abstract concepts is generally weak in Hook Factor, Hooking the listener's attention and imagination with imagery.
Enunciation is all important. I've capitalized some words I don't really hear, starting with YOUR in Verse I Line 1. It sounds like you sing 'Hearts never stop', which might be a better Line. I do hear the 's' on the end, but not 'Your' in the beginning.

"IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEART" copyright 2021 Kay-lynn Carew, BMI

Your heart never stops YOUR
looking for love
when you've got your mind's eye closed (One syllable, one note on CLOSED, might work better.)
You think you're going crazy YOU
How can you be so blind
when you think it's all in your mind (One syll/note on MIND, might work better. The word IT'S may not be getting enunciated.)

You have every chance TO SEE seems to belong on this Line.
to see the warning signs
You try to tell yourself
that's its all in your mind THAT'S IT'S (When a reader interrupts the read to figure out what you meant to say instead of what you did say, it's just that, an interruption. You don't want them distracted. You want them Hooked.)
If you could describe it
you can't even start
cus its not all in your mind CUS (I'd delete CUS and focus on enunciating IT'S)
It's All In Your Heart IT'S
(Enunciate 'It's.
Ending Verse II with THE Hook/title makes it a Refrain-Type Chorus, as opposed to a Stanza-Type Chorus. A Refrain is a single Line, ending each Verse.
The next Stanza then becomes a BRIDGE, a component with a Melody of its own, to break the Repetition. A Song must have 'Enough' Repetition to supply Structure, and 'Enough' Change to keep listeners Hooked. Two Verses is generally 'Enough' to do that, and makes it 'time' to have a Bridge, to supply Change to keep it interesting.)

(BRIDGE)
You think your in control YOU'RE means 'you are'. 'your' is the possessive form. Again, interruption. Enunciation passes when heard, but when read, it interrupts.)
but only your heart will know BUT ('But' is another connector that may be deleted, uncluttering a Line in the mouth of the singer. Without it the Line reads the same.)
You're losing your mind
and its about time IT'S (I-t-'apostrophe-s, means 'It is'. 'its' is the possessive form, belonging to 'it'. Can you delete 'and'? That enables the singer to enunciate 'It's' more clearly.)
cus love has a mind of its own ('Cus'. Delete?)

It's just the fear of falling
making your knees weak
You won't believe in something
that you can't see THAT (Can you delete 'that'?)
When the floor drops out THE
and you're in the dark AND (Delete 'and'?)
that's when you know it's not THAT'S
all in your mind
It's All In Your Heart

(REPEAT BRIDGE)
CHORUS

They haven't found a cure
There's nowhere you can hide
No nothing you can take
to get you off this ride
When the roller coaster falls ROLLER
and you're in too far AND (Delete 'and'?)
That's when you know it's not
all in your mind
It's All In Your Heart

Cus your heart never stops (Delete 'Cus'?)
looking for love
when you've got your mind's eye closed
You think you're going crazy
how can you be so blind
when you think it's all in your mind
It's All In Yout Heart YOUT (Interruption)
It's All In Your Heart
It's All In Your Heart

copyright Kay-lynn Carew, BMI

Gary, I'm glad your mind works the way it does. It's those little things that do make a difference!!! I would love to have a professional singer do my demos, but we're all broke so this is all I have to work with at the moment. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you in depth critique and I welcome all of your suggestions. Some I hadn't even thought of and would re-do if I could.

Your suggestions for deletions of words are spot on. I was singing the lyrics in my head with your deletions and it actually does sing better the way you said.!!!

Nice to meet you Kay-lynn,

Nice poppy sound to your tune....Songs with a familiar feel are always a winning formula...Shades of "Different Drum" by Linda Ronstadt

Your vocal gets the point across just fine, so don't fret too much about that....

Nice job

Well good, Kay-lynn. I'm glad you found those observations helpful.
The 'connector' words 'and', 'but', and 'because/'cause/cus' help writers get more of a sense of the 'connection' between ideas in Lines. But listeners can get that connection without those words, most of the time.
It's a Song-Writer's judgment call as to when to leave them in and when they can be deleted.

The word 'and' is particularly problematic... because ...singers often fail to enunciate the 'a' sound, leaving 'nd' to slur into the next word. Singers often hold onto one note and slide into the next, with unbroken vocalization, favoring execution of the note over enunciation of the word.
I read somewhere that only 10% of the public can carry a tune so communicating word meanings may be far more important to them than note execution. If they get the word they'll get the note.

Simply not having to sing/enunciate a word, 'and/but/cus' leaves more room for a singer to breathe, and to separate notes so the words 'sent' are 'received'. That 'reception' is what qualifies the 'communication' as a 'communication'. Words 'sent' but not 'received' don't communicate.

The more precisely you can execute your Song for another singer the more likely they are to get it the way you want it. I thought you sang it well enough, executing notes. You just weren't enunciating all the Lyric as clearly as it probably can be. In the studio a good producer would point these things out and help a singer improve the delivery.

Thank you Steve................I appreciate you listening !

Gary, once again you are spot on and noticed things I hadn't thought of. I certainly can't afford a full re-do in the studio, but I have some friends with great equipment, perhaps I will post a new demo and take out of all those junk words...lol

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned it before now........ but makes perfect sense! I look forward to you reviewing any of the other songs I post around here!! (there is a search bar) (grin)

Kindest warmest regards..... Kay-lynn