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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
Happy New Year! A bit different from me to start the year - hopefully haven't swung too far out of my wheelhouse Comments are welcomed as usual - positive or negative constructive - I can take it https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/i-cant-love-you-any-moreI Can't Love You AnymoreYou said "It's never quite enough" You said I'd better "step it up" I said "I love you to the core" I can't love you any more I can't love you any more You said you could feel me holding back You said "Part of me's still on the rack" I said "If you only knew the score I've got nothing left in store I can't love you any more" I've tried most everything I know But you keep telling me it doesn't show I've laid my heart and soul out at your door My love's a crashing wave upon your shore I can't love you any more You said you're with somebody new You said you're convinced his love is true I said "I heard your wedding vows Now I know it's not allowed I can't love you anymore I can't love you anymore"
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668 Likes: 42
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668 Likes: 42 |
'Infectious' ear-wormy bass riff. Drives home THE Hook/title with plenty of Repetition. Seems to have a dated feel, which may be just what a Music Supervisor is looking for to soundtrack a film, or some other 'use' that could be very lucrative.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
Yes I agree with Gary and add it has an 80s feel to it Best John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
Thanks Gary and Travis - much appreciated Paul
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Yes, very 80s, except it's a lot better than most of what I remember from back then. Catchy riff, great production. Love the gap in the middle.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Paul. It's certainly an interesting one. Plenty of stuff going on here. I would bring up the vocals a tad though,
Vic
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 |
Liked the first two verses, but I didn't care for the "B" sections melody or lyric. Good stuff! -Mike
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Paul,
A really unique write here--a great music piece IMO. Loved all of it--no nits!
steady-eddie
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690 |
Sounds a little bit like the B-52s.
All sounds good to me. Almost a queen like bridge there. With more vocals added in there it would be really great.
Cool song!
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
Gavin - thanks for that. You mean I've moved from the sixties to the eighties? progress! Vic - good feedback - I've bumped up the vocals in the new mix - thanks! Mike - thanks for weighing in - good to hear which sections work/don't work Eddie - cheers Eddie - glad you liked it Ricky - I'll take a B-52's/Queen comparison any day. Good suggestion re the bridge. New mix uploaded - hopefully going in the right direction Thanks all Paul
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798 |
Nice. I could imagine Roy Orbison singing this. I like that bass line hook but it would be nice if there were some small flourishes here and there, like on the down notes connecting the repeats.
..ant
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6 |
Loving the intensely unique music. Then your stellar vocals kick in and you tell the story in an expressive outburst that captures the listeners interest. I found myself sympathizing with your most likely fictitious lyric. or maybe not. Extremely creative work that i enjoyed to the last note. Well done. Right on...write on...righteously.
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 432 Likes: 19
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 432 Likes: 19 |
Really like the music, sparse, like early 60's. I like the turn in the hook's meaning - clever!
Change third verse maybe 'You said you're with somebody new' to You said " I have found somebody new" maybe.
Bill
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85 |
Roy Orbison meets The Monkeys!
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