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#1173249 - 01/13/21 11:49 PM TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
DAVE LEKICH
JOHN VAUGHAN

Please have a listen

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14177183

TRY INSIDE OF YOU

You constantly remind me
you don't need me at all.
Things aren't what they should beó
I won't wait for the axe to fall

Keep the chair you brood in;
the seat you rule in;
your throne of misery.
Every point you need to win,
and you wonder why youíre losing me.

If you want answers don't look at meó
try inside of you.
There's your side, always only your side.
If you go looking for the truthó
try inside of you.

I longed for you to smile,
all the while you just dragged me down
A soul once so beguilingó
hey, are you smiling now?

A weight off my shoulders:
the burden you placed there.
Escaped, now itís overó
itís good to breathe the air.
I ached to be closer,
but you never seemed to care
not enough, not for us, not for loveó
Why you wonder.

Last edited by Travis david; 01/14/21 01:51 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1173250 - 01/14/21 09:01 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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E Swartz Offline
E Swartz  Offline

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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,654
Ohio
Hey guys, I really enjoyed this tune! Well written and performance was really good too. I especially like the vibe as it "holds" you in the song.

I have no nits, but one sug for possible consideration with the musical arrangement. Given the dominant musical tracks--I think you could start the song with the music a bit further back in the mix and having it more gradually become pronounced giving the song more "build." Maybe experiment with reverbs and slight reduction of volume with music early in mix to achieve that (if desired or that is appealing for you).

Great job both lyrics and music& arrangements!

steady-eddie

#1173254 - 01/14/21 11:40 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,254
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
very well written and the delivery of the song ...I don`t think anyone else would fit this but you DJ, especially after a person hears you perform it. and again JV, really good writing. enjoyed the listen for sure. Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 01/14/21 11:41 AM.


"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent
#1173262 - 01/15/21 01:00 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Ed
Thanks for your listen and comments. Deej comes by infrequently nowadays but I'm sure he will see your suggestions
Thanks for your help once more
Regards
John

Last edited by Travis david; 01/15/21 01:00 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1173278 - 01/15/21 09:52 PM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Cheers Lane Thanks for having a listen and your thumbs up
Regards
John

Last edited by Travis david; 01/15/21 10:15 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1173280 - 01/16/21 08:35 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,757
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,757
UK
Good lyrics Travis. Excellent vocal Deej.
I think the music needs a bit more gain on the bass and kick for emphasis.
Good one though.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1173283 - 01/16/21 10:19 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 686
ckiphen Online content
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ckiphen  Online Content
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Posts: 686
- Select One - huntsville, te...
Really good song. Love the music lyrics and the vocals!


Ckiphen
#1173292 - 01/17/21 06:27 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Vic, I'm sure Deej will see your suggestion. Thanks
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1173295 - 01/17/21 09:34 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Carroll pleased you enjoyed our sobgregards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1173300 - 01/17/21 12:24 PM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 786
ant Offline
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ant  Offline
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Posts: 786
California
This is a really good write and performances all around. Nice work. As others suggested, this would benefit from a punchier mix - there's a lot of opportunity with the bass, kick, snare and crunch/presence on guitars.

..ant


My albums "Rhythms of Life" and "Out On The Road" are on Bandcamp, Spotify and Apple Music.
#1173315 - 01/17/21 03:55 PM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 165
PaulCanuck Offline
Serious Contributor
PaulCanuck  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 165
Great collab guys. Lots going on to hold interest - love that syncopated guitar work.
Vocals are pitch perfect and the mix is good. Love the harmonies.
Solid hook - well respected in the song and the lyrics fit nicely.
Nary a nit to be found smile
Paul

#1173329 - 01/18/21 03:18 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Ant
Appreciate your comments and listen.
Deej I know will answer your points
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1173331 - 01/18/21 03:23 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Cheers Paul good to know it worked for you
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1173345 - 01/19/21 09:49 AM Re: TRY INSIDE OF YOU. Deej & Travis [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,071
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Fingers crossed just had a BBC email saying the song has been listened too by BBC INTRODUCING.
Which usually means it could get a broadcast in the next two weeks if lucky
John

Last edited by Travis david; 01/19/21 09:49 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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