Hi Folks,

I think this is close to done, but not quite ready to release. Would appreciate any feedback and I'll of course return the favor. Any guidance on what genre this falls into would help. I usually just choose singer-songwriter.

..ant

Play on Soundcloud

Strawberries

I remember my first kiss when I was just thirteen
She was simply the cutest girl I'd ever seen
And I was shy to the bone, you know, but she was kind to me
I was walking her home, yea, stopped by a shady tree

She said "I'll tell you a secret, but before I can
I need you to close your eyes," which I did and then...

She tasted like strawberries and honeydew
Blueberries and honey too

I didn't know what to do, no, I was so surprised
Somehow she managed to run away before I opened my eyes
And now so many years later I still have memories
Of sunny days and a first kiss under that shady tree

She said "I'll tell you a secret, but before I can
I need you to close your eyes," which I did and then...

She tasted like strawberries and honeydew
Blueberries and honey too

Well it's been many years
Some with heartache and tears
And the losses I've had on the way
But in spite of it all, yeah I still can recall
All the joy that I felt on that day

She said "I'll tell you a secret, but before I can..."
She asked me to close my eyes, which I did and then...

She tasted like strawberries and honeydew
Blueberries and honey too
She smelled just like sweet cherries
And pink lemonade
Her skin was like mangoes
Warm just like apples in the shade
She tasted like strawberries and honeydew
Blueberries and honey too, honey too, honey too, honey too

Pleasant song.
Well written and well done.

_ _ _ _ _
Have fun!

You seem to be chanelling Van Morrison That's a compliment.

I'd like to know what her secret was, but I don't need to to enjoy the song.

That you Guy and Gavin. And Gavin that's a huge compliment, thank you.

..ant

Hi ant - well we used to call this R&B in the old days.
I especially like the bass and lead vocals in this and the hook/lyrics are great.
I think it could use a better build instrumentally and it could stand a haircut of about 60 secs
Really liked the swinging vibe though
Paul

Good one Ant
The intro reminded very much of a song of mine on Soundclick called Blood not Brian. Totally different genre but a coincidence.
Good song, best of luck with it
John

I love the visuals, but as the saying goes with a song like this... "show me, don't tell me". Think of the song Strawberry Wine. (wish I could have written that one)... but.................there needs to be a payoff somewhere.......... My first kiss was great and I remember it to this day... yup.. I got that.................... were your hands shaking, could you feel her warm breath.... ? Did you wonder what those lips would feel like against yours, would you mess it up? I have no idea what guys feel about their first kiss........ but ....................... my question is........ who are these two people and why do I care about them? And dang dude, that's alot of fruit for one song! (grin).............. Not bashing........ just askin. Love ya!

Hey Ant!

A great feel good song and one many can relate with--first kisses were special. I feel like you're drawing a bit from John Melancamp with this arrangement and vibe. Its a fun pop song with kind of a early 80's vibe for me. I liked it and you you have a good one here IMO. I do think the weakest line is the 3rd line vs one--you might find a more interesting descriptive phrase there--JMO.

So is this really you????? My first kiss was on a bus taking 7th graders to a roller rink--same type thing, I was asked to close my eyes when the girl in the seat behind me traded places with my pal--my life changed from that moment on......

steady-eddie

Like the song a lot!

I think going up in the chorus as you do towards the end is the right call for most of the other choruses. (Maybe not the first one) then you could still find ways to lift it more on that final chorus.

It's got a good sound and is a very enjoyable listen.

... oh and John Mellencamp would fit as a descriptor perfectly.

Oh ya....I get the Van Morrison vibe. Very uplifting and upbeat.
Cheerful. Puts a smile on me face ;-)
Good songwriting, man!
-T

I think all you need is to crunch the lyrics a bit... reduce some syllables here-n-there.

"And honey too..." kinda' gets lost...

"She tasted like strawberries..... and sugar
Sweet cherries... She still makes me wonder" ?

Nice one Ant

Thanks for the feedback everyone, sorry for the delay getting back here.

Paul: I think I know what you're saying and I've made a few runs at adding a bit more build especially at the bridge, but so far no luck. I would love to find a way for the violin to accent between the lines but I've never been good at that. May try again later.

Eddie: You got it, the arrangement of Cherry Bomb (with accordion and violin) was an influence.

IronKnee: Yes, Van is a big influence overall.

Travis, Kay-lynn, Ricky, JAPOV: thank you for your thoughts.

..ant