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#1172352 12/11/20 04:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
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ONE GOOD REASON

One Good Reason ( Lyrics : Milo Ippolito, Robert dePriest, Music: Steve Sledge , 2020 )


V1.
Give me a reason not to go
There ain’t no use in crying
We never could get far from trouble
Although it weren’t for lack of trying

Honey I’m leaving
See what tomorrow’s gonna bring us
But if it’s any consolation
You nearly had me on a string

C1.
Let’s drive down to Atlanta
Go back to your mama
We can put an end to
This tale that’s been dragging on.

Why should I love you?
Give me one good reason
Sayin’ that ya need me’s not enough

V2.
Gimme a reason, or let me go.
There ain’t no use in crying
Seems like the rain just keeps on falling
And I don’t see no silver lining

Honey I’m leaving
You can pin it on me if you want to
But I ain’t looking for a medal
For all the things you put me thru

C2.
Let’s drive down to Atlanta
Go back to your mama
We can put an end to
This tale that’s been dragging on.

Why should I love you?
Give me one good reason
Sayin’ that ya need me’s not enough

B.
One good reason
One good reason

C3.
Let’s drive down to Atlanta
Go back to your mama
We can put an end to
This tale that’s been dragging on.

Why should I love you?
Give me one good reason
Sayin’ that ya need me’s not enough

Let’s drive down to Atlanta
Go back to your mama
We can put an end to
This tale that’s been dragging on.

Why should I love you?
Give me one good reason
Sayin’ that ya need me’s not enough


Last edited by stmoeller60; 12/11/20 04:19 AM.

Cheers,
Steve Sledge

"HiFi-LoFi-NoFi it's just fine with me"

Joined: Apr 2002
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Man, voice and music-well done!

The lyric may need some help. It's a bit confusing: Is he leaving or is he staying? (Atlanta)
In V1 I think the the first two lines could relate to the last two better.
I liked the last two lines till I thought the last line may be better if it stated it could have been from lack of trying.


In the chorus: This tale that’s been dragging on seems to be a mouthful....

Best of luck- some very cool stuff here, (love that funky country!)
-Mike



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I second what Mike says.
Lyric needs a rewrite to make sense of it.

Good sound and performance
Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

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http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

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ST,

Loved the song tempo and rhythm, nice vocals as well. The prosody didn't bother me too much with the end chorus line, a challenge that I think the vocalist handled. A listener is going to think "tail dragging," which won't make sense quickly until they've listened a few times. "Tale" which you've used appropriately as "story," needs to IMO be more clear--we have the lyrics to look at, but the listener will not. Not a huge deal, but one small area that could be conveyed perhaps better. JMO, Keep or sweep......

This was an enjoyable listen however, and enjoyed your song!

steady-eddie

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844
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So this is good in so many ways, the music is outstanding....

In your CHORUS/HOOK/TITLE you have it buried way in the 6th line of the Chorus, not in a POWER SPOT.

I would look at maybe getting the HOOK/TITLE placement in your CHORUS into much more strategic lines... and try to get that into Lines 1 & maybe even 7 as well if I could...But after you've worked on a song so much, it kinda gets ingrained in your head, so it is easier said than done....

Music is awesome...Good work



Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
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I echo what everyone else is saying about the music. It's really well done and enjoyable to listen to. The up tempo exuberance seemed to me to conflict a little with the lyric, almost as if they belonged to two different songs. I got over it and really enjoyed the song, but it did seem a bit strange.

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Thanks so much to all here.
It was a real pleasure to work with Milo and Robert who wrote the lyrics to my music.
This is again a project where I composed the music and melody first, and the lyrics where made for it.
I passed the thread to them , so they might come in and comment some of your hints :-)

Have a ood time,
Cheers
Steve


Cheers,
Steve Sledge

"HiFi-LoFi-NoFi it's just fine with me"

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 1
M
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M
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 1
Thanks guys. Fortunately, Steve was able to rise above the lyric’s shortcomings.

The writer’s opinion becomes irrelevant once the song is done. It’s the listener’s opinion that matters. So this is valuable information. Best!

Last edited by Milo5000; 12/18/20 04:11 AM.

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