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#1170118 - 10/19/20 12:28 PM I'm Here (Wonderful)  
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I have had cause to think recently of people who are dealing with sadness of one kind of another in their lives, so I wrote this as something I wish more people knew. It's a work in progress, so all comments and suggestions welcome, as always.

https://soundcloud.com/themysteriousbeings/im-here

WONDERFUL

When you're lonely
Feels like nobody is on your side
The night is darker
And the stars don't seem to shine so bright
Just remember
That you're not alone
I'm here

When you're broken
Into pieces that are scattered on the floor
I will mend you
Be the friend who shows up at your door
So just remember
You still have me
I'm here

I'm here to let you know that you are wonderful
And this seems like the time for me to say
The world is better far because of who you are
And tomorrow will be a brighter day

So if you need me
Just call me and you know that Iíll be there
In a hurry
Thereís no worry you canít share
And remember
Youíll always have me
Iím here

I'm here to let you know that you are wonderful
And this seems like the time for me to say
The world is better far because of who you are
And tomorrow will be a brighter day

The world's a better planet because you're standing on it
And I wouldnít have it any other way

Last edited by Gavin Sinclair; 10/26/20 09:01 AM.
#1170135 - 10/20/20 02:57 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Hi Gavin,
Yes, people need to hear this from each other a lot more often than we do. Personally, I like the title "I'm Here" a bit better as you hit it a lot more often and it seems like the hook. Just my thoughts, KOS.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
#1170139 - 10/20/20 03:39 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Hi Gavin, I like the idea, but I feel the lyric says more about the singer than the wonderful person, I'd like to see some reasons why he/she is wonderful,
all the best,john


please visit my soundclick page to hear songs recorded by musicians world wide

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=429802
#1170142 - 10/20/20 04:43 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: John W. Selleck]  
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Originally Posted by John W. Selleck
Hi Gavin,
Yes, people need to hear this from each other a lot more often than we do. Personally, I like the title "I'm Here" a bit better as you hit it a lot more often and it seems like the hook. Just my thoughts, KOS.

Thanks for the suggestion, John. Actually, that was originally going to be the title. When I recorded it, I realized that, although it only occurs twice, "Wonderful" is the most prominent word in the song because the melody kind of highlights it and allows you to really get your teeth into singing it. "I'm here" occurs one more time than "Wonderful," but not in the chorus. On the other hand, it forms a complete line by itself. Hard to choose. In the end, I just thought "Wonderful" was more distinctive and memorable as a title.

#1170151 - 10/20/20 08:56 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Gavin,

Pretty song with a lovely message. Your vocal has a genuine warmth and sincerity, really adds a lot to this tune. And that chorus has a nice melody, accentuated by the internal rhyme on that third line. Iím not sure Iím in love with the title of the song either, but youíll figure that out. Sadly, I canít come up with any suggestions for you at the moment.

One other small nit, and probably not worth mentioning, in that same line of the chorus, it seems it would be ďThe world is better BY farĒ . . . though I realize that may make the line a bit more difficult to sing, but workable. But OK as it is because the meaning is clear.

Really, really nice write, Gavin. A memorable one, and already among my favorites from you.

All my best,

Deej

#1170152 - 10/20/20 09:17 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Deej56]  
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Originally Posted by Deej56
Gavin,

Pretty song with a lovely message. Your vocal has a genuine warmth and sincerity, really adds a lot to this tune. And that chorus has a nice melody, accentuated by the internal rhyme on that third line. Iím not sure Iím in love with the title of the song either, but youíll figure that out. Sadly, I canít come up with any suggestions for you at the moment.

One other small nit, and probably not worth mentioning, in that same line of the chorus, it seems it would be ďThe world is better BY farĒ . . . though I realize that may make the line a bit more difficult to sing, but workable. But OK as it is because the meaning is clear.

Really, really nice write, Gavin. A memorable one, and already among my favorites from you.

All my best,

Deej


Thanks, Deej. I might have to reconsider the title in the face of public opinion LOL. That "better far" line does use a rather old-fashioned, 19th century poetic construction. Maybe I chose it because in my mind I'm an old fashioned 19th century poet smile My kids are always teasing me for the way I speak. I use words that leave them looking baffled. Partly a British-American thing and partly my being a pretentious old git. Anyway, just to prove I'm not making it up...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlP_eRzlgrw

#1170154 - 10/20/20 10:14 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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E Swartz Offline
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Gavin,

Sweet song Gavin. Although I think you should title it "I'm Here........."

#1170181 - 10/21/20 06:17 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: E Swartz]  
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Originally Posted by E Swartz
Gavin,

Sweet song Gavin. Although I think you should title it "I'm Here........."

Well, there's another vote for that alternative title. I may just have to bow to public pressure smile Thanks for listening and commenting, Eddie.

#1170244 - 10/23/20 05:45 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: johnparagreen]  
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Originally Posted by johnparagreen
Hi Gavin, I like the idea, but I feel the lyric says more about the singer than the wonderful person, I'd like to see some reasons why he/she is wonderful,
all the best,john

Sorry John. I somehow missed your response. Thanks for commenting. Indirectly, you just lent some more weigh to the suggestion from others that "I'm Here" would be a better title. The song is about the fact that the person is not alone, that the singer is there for him/her. It's not about what makes the person wonderful, but about the fact that there is someone there to let them know. It's supposed to be a song that could be sung to anyone, not one particular person. It's the same idea as "Bridge Over Troubled Water." (No, I'm NOT comparing myself to Paul Simon LOL)

#1171184 - 11/16/20 04:23 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Hi Gavin
Love the sentiment behind this one.
Another vote to change the title I'm afraid.
In fact I'd like to see it more focused on "I'm Here" rather than telling anyone they're wonderful etc, etc.
It would be less cliche - sort of like the song "Lean on me".
If you said "I'm Here" to me, I'd think - well that's nice to have someone to support me.
But if you told me I'm wonderful I'd think - I bet he says that to all his listeners grin

All kidding aside - a lovely song and great delivery grin
Paul

#1171185 - 11/16/20 05:05 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Gavin

You have a very nice song in this one--could be a show tune--I LIKE!

Write on!

Mackie

#1171190 - 11/16/20 05:33 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Thanks for listening and commenting, Paul. No worries about the title change - you might notice at SoundCloud that I yielded to the weight of public opinion and changed it already. smile Not just public opinion - I've come round to the same way of thinking.

Point taken about the "I'm here" rather than you're wonderful" thing. That would certainly be one way to go, but I meant the chorus as a kind of validation for someone who thinks they're not worth much, the idea of someone being here to build that person up and assure them of their value. It seemed like an extension of the act of "being here," something someone would do if they were actually there. I also have to admit that "wonderful" is just a wonderful word to sing with feeling to this melody. smile

Interestingly, John P, in his comments above took the opposing view, wanting to know more about why the person is wonderful.

And Paul, of course you are far more wonderful than any of my other listeners. Don't get big headed - I don't have many listeners.

#1171195 - 11/16/20 07:34 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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- Select One - huntsville, te...
Loved this Gavin! Beautiful music, outstanding lyrics AMD a heartfelt delivery
Got a winner!


Ckiphen
#1171221 - 11/17/20 11:33 AM Re: Wonderful [Re: Mackie H.]  
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Originally Posted by Mackie H.
Gavin

You have a very nice song in this one--could be a show tune--I LIKE!

Write on!

Mackie

Thanks Mackie. Interesting that you say it could be a show tune. I've heard that a couple of times recently. It occurs to me that the great thing about show tunes is that they don't really have to fit into a genre - they are just songs. That's kind of how I operate too. Maybe one day I'll have a go at writing a musical. Could be fun.

#1171246 - 11/18/20 10:55 AM Re: Wonderful [Re: ckiphen]  
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Originally Posted by ckiphen
Loved this Gavin! Beautiful music, outstanding lyrics AMD a heartfelt delivery
Got a winner!

Thanks for the kind words, Carroll. Glad you enjoyed it. A mixture of a reaction to things I've seen happening to some people recently and a melody for the verse that I've had floating around in my head for about 40 years. That's about how long it takes me to write a song LOL.

#1171264 - 11/18/20 08:51 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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I like the heart on your sleeve approach. Sometimes the best stuff comes from people when they are not afraid of being vulnerable. It takes a bit of courage to write this.

I like it, it could probably use a bit of tightening musically but it's simply stated and I admire the sentiment. Not gonna be a hit, but so what?

Who are the mysterious beings? Is that a fictitious band you invented? If so, I'm jealous, that's such an cool idea, just if doing home recording and doing it all yourself, why not make a band to go with it. Love that idea

I need an alias like that, I love the name "five for fighting", all being one guy , and for a full band i love hootie and the blow fish, but they are taken already!

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 11/18/20 08:54 PM.
#1171265 - 11/18/20 10:45 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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I still believe the song, and "wonderful" title, would be comically poignant if you dedicated it to Donald Trump! smile

Lol, all kidding aside... It's truly impressive the way you pull this lyric off!

#1171275 - 11/19/20 09:47 AM Re: Wonderful [Re: JAPOV]  
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
I still believe the song, and "wonderful" title, would be comically poignant if you dedicated it to Donald Trump! smile

Lol, all kidding aside... It's truly impressive the way you pull this lyric off!

LOL, if it was about Trump, I might have to change the title to "I'm (Still) Here."

#1171293 - 11/19/20 12:39 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
I like the heart on your sleeve approach. Sometimes the best stuff comes from people when they are not afraid of being vulnerable. It takes a bit of courage to write this.

I like it, it could probably use a bit of tightening musically but it's simply stated and I admire the sentiment. Not gonna be a hit, but so what?

Who are the mysterious beings? Is that a fictitious band you invented? If so, I'm jealous, that's such an cool idea, just if doing home recording and doing it all yourself, why not make a band to go with it. Love that idea

I need an alias like that, I love the name "five for fighting", all being one guy , and for a full band i love hootie and the blow fish, but they are taken already!

Thanks FD. I like a song that dispenses with all the cleverness and just cuts straight to the heart, so I try to do that too sometimes, when I'm not playing it for laughs. It's easy to slip and fall on your face, of course, but if you're not at least trying to communicate something, what's the point? I'm sure it could do with more than a bit of tightening musically, but I'm probably not capable of doing that.

Yes, don't tell anybody, but The Mysterious Beings are fictitious. I can play piano, and to a lesser extent guitar, well enough to write songs but not to perform them, so when I discovered DAWs with loops and later BIAB and other things, I was excited that I could give some kind of life to all the songs I had been carrying around for years but also embarrassed about how I was doing it, so I made a joke of it.

There are six members of the band, Dee Sharpe from Scotland on guitar, Kit Bashir from Afghanistan on drums and Afghan nose harp, Aldo Sachs from France on the Alto Sax, Gene Poole-Skimmings from England on the keyboards, Juan Tusrifor from Peru on bass, Beau Strokes from right here in North Carolina on fiddle and Zog from the solar system of Proxima Centauri on Centaurian bassoon. They all have back stories and feature in stories at my website and at SoundCloud about how each song was written and/or first performed.
https://mysteriousbeings.com/meet-the-band/

I hadn't heard of Five For Fighting. I'll have to give him (or them) a listen.

#1171311 - 11/19/20 05:32 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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A kind of folky Bridge Over Troubled Waters Gavin.
I'm all for songs that convey a message of hope.
Some don't always work, I know through experience. Good intentions and all that.
Yes this works, nice thoughtful theme in a sometimes thoughtless world
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1171319 - 11/19/20 06:18 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Like to song Gavin, ...and absolutely love the band bios on your web page,

and of all things, David Rice's Nothing To Remember came on right after yours while I was on your site

Nothing like a Toofer Wawn

Oh and what is most telling, I knew nothing about "the contest"...


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#1171371 - 11/20/20 07:56 PM Re: Wonderful [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Sounds like a 60's style vocally and musically. I would change the title to the hook you have created with "I'm Here." instead of "Wonderful"
that doesn't stand out as much. IMO. smile

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
#1171401 - 11/21/20 10:43 AM Re: Wonderful [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,432
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,432
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Originally Posted by Travis david
A kind of folky Bridge Over Troubled Waters Gavin.
I'm all for songs that convey a message of hope.
Some don't always work, I know through experience. Good intentions and all that.
Yes this works, nice thoughtful theme in a sometimes thoughtless world
John

Thanks John. Yes, I referenced "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" in one of my posts above as far as the message is concerned, not the quality of the song, obviously smile


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