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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 171
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 171 |
Hi everyone. A couple years ago, I demoed a song I had written called "I've Got A New Song". This was basically a song about the process of writing a song. Many critiques latter, the general opinion is that "no one wants to hear a song about writing a song! If it ain't about love, no one wants to hear it". But the melody and the demo quality was probably one of my favorites. So, I gave in and rewrote the lyrics to be about: you guessed it: LOVE. So before I have the song re-demoed, can I please get some feedback on the new lyrics? You can listen to the original demo too, the link attached below. WE'VE GOT A NEW SONG Donna Rose Dutchess 2020 Verse 1: You seem so different to me You were lost but now you say you're found Do I have faith in what I'm seeing Or keep my feet safely on the ground? Pre-chorus Should I trust the inspiration to turn our situation all around. Verse 2: I'm baring my soul before you I see the proof in your eyes Did the distance give you peace Or did you get tired of all the highs. Should I trust the inspiration to turn our situation all around Chorus: I feel a new beginning Your touch melting my world My heart 's no longer singing a sad song I think we can make it now It's the coming of a brand new dawn You and I are right where we belong We've got a new song. oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh We've got a new song. We've got a new song, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh We've got a new song. Bridge: Change is good We're meant to be I never stopped loving you, You're amazing me! I've Got A New Song (original demo)
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
I enjoyed the demo, Donna, including the lyrics, but maybe those folks are right that nobody wants to hear a song about writing a song. Having said that, I think if you were just to change the focus a bit, emphasizing that you are writing the song for someone, a "you" in the lyric, and make it about finding the way to say how you feel about that person through a song, catching the inspiration for that purpose, because it's the best way you know how to say it, you might have a winner. There's nothing wrong with your lyric, but I just thought that approach might be more touching and more memorable. Hey, it worked for Elton Whoever did your demo did a great job!
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 171
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 171 |
Thank you for that. Songcity did the demo, Kaci Bolls the vocals. The one thing that has been drummed into my mind is that with country music, it has to be a conversation between 2 people.....preferably in the language of 20 year olds! I'm hoping that my new lyrics portray a conversation between 2 people....otherwise I'm missing the mark?
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