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Joined: May 2017
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Something a little different for me. Well, a lot different Not sure that I can pull this kind of thing off, but I thought it would be fun to give it a go. Also not sure that it wouldn't be better to use "Where Are You, Whoever You Are?" as the title. More distinctive? Too cutesy? All comments and suggestions much appreciated, as always. Click to listen at SoundCloud A HEART THAT’S TRUE(Words & Music by Gavin Sinclair)In my life, I guess, I've had my share of lovers Well, not that many, truth to tell. And it would break my heart to think I ever broke another I know that feeling far too well And I would always take such care Of a soul when it was shared 'Cause I'm no stranger to the pain of a broken heart And here it comes again Where are you, whoever you are? I've been searching so long And why is it so hard To find a heart that's true? Ships that should have been passing in the night We were destined to collide She cast me loose upon the sea, no land in sight Drifting with the wind and the tide In the end I washed up on the shore But I can't do this any more Am I crazy to dream that I might still find A heart that beats as true as mine So where are you, whoever you are? I've been searching so long And why is it so hard To find a heart that's true? I’m no stranger to a dream that won’t come true But I keep looking for you
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Joined: Oct 2017
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To me in this your voice is that of a comedian, playing a serious role. Like when Bill Murray does a serious role, I have a hard time not laughing anyway. But maybe there's a niche there, perhaps a cartoon where the character is singing this.
Its moving in its own right, and sounds genuine. The best part was that outro, sounds like your using biab, but that ending seems to be based on your melody, did you add that in?
It reminds me melodically of "are you going to San Francisco"
It may be too monotonous with those long verses, but it's a nice song.
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 10/01/20 06:53 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2019
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This would probably do well with a stripped down and sparse arrangement. Instead of the rhythmic piano all the way through, just chord changes and fills with periodic strings for accent. Modulating up near the end wouldn't hurt either I like it! You make this "unique"!
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Joined: May 2017
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Looks like I've gone and typecast myself LOL. Yes, it's mostly BIAB, but I added the melodic parts with a midi cello. I get what you're saying about the long verses. I wanted to give the singer (me, unfortunately) the space to do some heavy duty emoting. I tried to hold the interest musically by having a lot of variety in the melody within the verses. That's what I was trying to do anyway.
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Joined: Nov 2001
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I'm with the others Gavin possibly a little too long. Get the vibe though. Oh and there is no such thing as a Midi Cello LOL. Midi is nothing more than a language and is not an instrument, nor is it a sound. Sadly a lot of people use the word midi as an excuse for something sounding unlike the real thing or when something sounds not authentic or even bad. Now that is not the fault of Midi it is the fault of the instrument/synth it is triggering. Whoops sorry about that I got myself going on a bit there.:-)
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This would probably do well with a stripped down and sparse arrangement. Instead of the rhythmic piano all the way through, just chord changes and fills with periodic strings for accent. Modulating up near the end wouldn't hurt either I like it! You make this "unique"! Those are good suggestions. I had originally intended the piano to be more like you describe. I might go back and do that, if I decide it's worth doing any more work on this. Thanks!
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Joined: May 2017
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I'm with the others Gavin possibly a little too long. Get the vibe though. Oh and there is no such thing as a Midi Cello LOL. Midi is nothing more than a language and is not an instrument, nor is it a sound. Sadly a lot of people use the word midi as an excuse for something sounding unlike the real thing or when something sounds not authentic or even bad. Now that is not the fault of Midi it is the fault of the instrument/synth it is triggering. Whoops sorry about that I got myself going on a bit there.:-) Thanks Gerry. At 3:59, it's not super long for this kind of song, though longer than I would normally aim for. It probably just feels long LOL. I could certainly shorten it by eliminating the musical break and the coda, but I don't want to upset FD, who says that's his favorite part. I could also do something radical and eliminate the second chorus, since the chorus is actually my least favorite part. I take your point about midi really being a "language." I could say it's a virtual cello singing in midi, but I think I'm right in saying that most people use and understand the word midi in this less than accurate way, just as a useful shorthand. I agree it doesn't sound like a real cello, but it's not a totally unpleasant approximation. You should hear the virtual violin I have!
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Gavin,
I always enjoy your songs and this one is no exception. I think as you stated in response to Gerry why that the song feels longer than it really is, is true. Also as you stated that the chorus is your least favorite part. I think the reason for that is because the chorus launches fairly well with the first line melody, however the 2nd line is too resolving or falling back when the chorus needs to continue lifting--even if you repeat the 1st line melody a 2nd time. The 3rd line needs to stay lateral in build, then the last line can resolve musically with the lyrics--IMHO. This is what a "hook" does, don't let the fish off the hook so quickly! I'm not saying this is a "chorus driven" song, but the chorus does create a break, which is needed with long verses. These more contrasting or digressing music vibes give any song change-ups that capture better listener interest or attention.
I really like the song's foundation and as usual your performance. Production-wise, sure some better string tracks would enhance the song sonically. Most of us could all benefit from better music tracks! Anyway, you could shorten the song if you desired by the ways you expressed above, or maybe eliminate two lines from each verse--ooh that hurts I know, as every line feels so needed--food for thought.
Nice work here Gavin, you have your own distinct style--a cool thing!
steady-eddie
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Joined: May 2017
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Thanks Eddie. Very perceptive of you - that second line of the chorus was indeed what seemed off to me, and I thinkyou are right about why. I have a couple of ideas to continue that lift. On the other hand, I've found that that second line passes the "sing-along test" with flying colors - when you just play it and see which parts are enjoyable to sing along to. I'll probably let it stew for a little and come back to that.
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Joined: Dec 2006
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I think it needs a bit more variety between the verses and chorus. I suggest either shorten the verses to four lines or take a different melody for the second four lines. Either way I think the chorus needs to sound more differentiated from the verses. I agree that the chorus resolves too quickly. A rhyme in the chorus might help as well. Here's a suggestion rearranging the lines
Why is it so hard To find a heart that's true? I've been searching so long I’m no stranger to a dream that won’t come true Whoever you are, where are you?
..ant
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Joined: May 2017
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Thanks for the listen and suggestions, Ant. On reflection, I'm a little confused by the notion that the chorus resolves too quickly at the end of the second line. Purely musically speaking, it doesn't. The song is in G and the line ends on D. The resolution does take place with a return home to G in the fourth line. This perceived resolution must be one of feeling rather than chord progression, strictly speaking. Maybe someone with a better grounding in musical theory could explain what is happening here? In the tag/coda, I actually leave the ending unresolved to suggest that the search goes on, finishing on D. I felt I was being pretty clever doing that LOL. Of course, there are a couple of bars after the coda to bring it home to G - don't want to leave the listener feeling frustrated
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Gavin,
I think it’s a lovely song. Good conversation and suggestions above . . . all worthy of consideration, but it’s solid as is. I do tend to agree with JAPOV that a stripped down version might be more emotionally impactful. That’s the direction I would go, IMHO.
You’ve written two really nice songs this month! Well done!
Best regards,
Deej
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Joined: Aug 2010
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A ab-soul-utely beautiful melody. the lyrics are expressed so sincerely. Your vocals are spot on. I can find nothing to nit-pick. there are so many lesser quality songs on the pop pulp charts that are shamed by this one. Well done. Write on...right on...righteously.
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Joined: May 2017
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A ab-soul-utely beautiful melody. the lyrics are expressed so sincerely. Your vocals are spot on. I can find nothing to nit-pick. there are so many lesser quality songs on the pop pulp charts that are shamed by this one. Well done. Write on...right on...righteously. Thanks. I had kind of shelved this one. If I get time, I might go back and make some changes, following up on the suggestions I received when I first posted it.
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Joined: Apr 2009
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An ode to a moody person, being subject or object of song, possibly both. Give it a thumbs up.
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