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#1169356 - 09/19/20 02:05 PM I Was Only Me  
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Deej56 Offline
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Hi, all:

Here's a new collaboration with Carroll Kiphen. I saw his lyrics to this song a couple of weeks back in the Lyrics Forum and knew I wanted to give this terrific write a go. I hope I've done it some justice and that you enjoy the listen. Hope everyone is safe and well!

Cheers,

Deej

Here's the song:

I WAS ONLY ME

Here are the lyrics:

I donít have a special talent
outside my way with words.
Iíll die alone a great unknown
that no oneís ever heard.
A song that never found its voice
thatís waiting to be sung.
A steeple with a silver bell
thatís waiting to be rung.

Gathering dust;
they turn to rustó
Isnít it just
a waste of time?

All these songs Iíve written:
footprints in the snow.
I never was somebody
anybody knows.
Theyíre just words in passing.
much the same as meó
I never was somebody . . .
I was only me.

Iíve no wish for fame or fortune.
I just want to be heard.
Iíll die alone a great unknown
along with all my words.
A hope to no fruition;
A seed that never grew;
these words and songs Iíve writtenó
dreams that never came true.

Gathering dust;
they turn to rustó
Has it been just
a waste of time?

All these songs Iíve written:
footprints in the snow.
I never was somebody
anybody knows.
Theyíre just words in passing.
much the same as meó
I never was somebody . . .
I was only me.

A whisper in the wind,
Iím the morning dew.
The shadow of a man
you never knew . . .

Gathering dust;
Iíve turned to rustó
Ainít it just
a waste of time.

All these songs Iíve written:
footprints in the snow.
I never was somebody
anybody knows.
Theyíre just words in passing.
much the same as meó
I never was somebody . . .
I was only me.

Words by Carroll Kiphen
Music. by DJ Lekich
(c)2020 Carroll Kiphen/DJ Lekich

Last edited by Deej56; 09/19/20 02:08 PM.
#1169358 - 09/19/20 03:43 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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Vicarn Offline
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Nice sad song.
I like also, the way it goes into the chorus.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1169360 - 09/19/20 04:10 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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Dave Rice (D) Offline
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Very nice collaboration, DJ & Carroll:

Vic said it all for me. So glad to see you two working together. You make a great team.
All my best! ----Dave

#1169361 - 09/19/20 05:34 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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Posts: 4,381
John W. Selleck Online content
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NJ
Hi You two,

Congratulations on a very nice co-write. The words and music go very well together. There's always room for another sad song.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
#1169369 - 09/20/20 08:48 AM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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Guy E. Trepanier Offline
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Quebec
Well written and well done.
Nice melody.

_ _ _
Have d'un!

#1169372 - 09/20/20 10:13 AM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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CTthomas Offline
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I really like this DJ and Carroll. What a great collaboration. Song sums up what we all feel. We all ust keep on writing because we love the write and anything else is just I icing on the cake. Keep on writing and weíll keep on listening.

#1169407 - 09/20/20 09:55 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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ckiphen Offline
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- Select One - huntsville, te...
Appreciate it!


Ckiphen
#1169408 - 09/20/20 11:23 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Oct 2017
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Fdemetrio Online content
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Its hard to provide constructive criticism when its a personal song, like how do you critique a guy singing a love song to his wife.

Its boring as far as a commercial lyric/theme, but its effective in its message, and hard to say anything about .

I think it's simply stated and that's hard to do sometimes so hats off for that, hard to try not to overwrite for me anyway. I will say that your lyrics Carroll, never seem to be about anything, they are usually reflective, and if your a singer songwriter, you can write like that and get a way with it.

I don't have a problem with it really, and I can relate to what your saying. Remember though your audience is limited, how many listeners of music have tales of unsuccessful songwriting? Its what they called an insider song, but I guess posted here its fine.

and dj voice is what really makes it , your voice is believable, it makes the lyric seem sincere, one of former regs here Floyd Jane had a similar quality, where his voice made me believe the lyrics. Of course Frank Sinatra was the master of that

For both you guys, I'd like to see you branch out into more universal stuff, but its a nice song and sentiment.

#1169433 - 09/21/20 11:12 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Vic, Dave, John, Guy and CT:

Thanks much for the listen and kind comments. Really appreciate you taking the time to chime in. My best to all of you.

Deej

#1169434 - 09/21/20 11:24 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Fdemetrio,

There's a lot of truth in what you say. I agree it's definitely not a commercial tune and it is personal . . . to this songwriter at least. To me, the lyrics were very crisp in expressing how I feel about all the time I spend on writing songs. I have no illusions about it . .. I am and will die an unknown, as will, sadly, most of us (sorry, folks . . . though I'm always rooting for all of us!). And so I suspect it will resonate with other songwriters. And yet we keep doing what we do . . .

But, it's true, as you say: it's not going to resonate with a wider, non-songwriting audience. I'm OK with that. But I also agree that on a forum like this, filled with songwriters who may feel equally helpless but self-aware, that the song might resonate. Not quite the unknown songwriter's anthem, but along those lines? Dunno.

Appreciate the nice words on the vocal. And the encouragement on branching out. I'm always looking to stretch . . . Glad you seemed to enjoy the song, notwithstanding.

My best to you,

Deej

#1169443 - 09/22/20 03:55 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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beechnut79 Offline
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Villa Park IL
This represents my own story as a lyricist as well. Would have done much more but the cost of doing so is prohibitive. If anybody here wants to put music to some of my lyrics, please let me know. Will most likely give green light.

#1169444 - 09/22/20 04:00 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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beechnut79 Offline
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Villa Park IL
Just also listened to your upbeat song "Let's Leave Behind this Crazy World". Should become one of my favorites.

#1169518 - 09/24/20 12:19 AM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Deej56 Offline
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beechnut79,

Thanks much for the listen and feedback. Yeah, don't we all really feel this way, when it comes down to it. But we can't help ourselves, can we? We keep writing, playing and singing. It's the joy we bring to ourselves that in the end matters. Glad you like "Crazy World" as well . . . Travis came up with some inspiring lyrics on that one.

Stay safe, stay well,

All my best,

Deej

#1169528 - 09/24/20 10:12 AM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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E Swartz Offline
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Ohio
Deej/Kiph,

I enjoyed your collab. I think the lyrics are really good and would be interesting to non-songwriters actually, as the lay folks that are listeners IMO are enamored a bit by songwriters and can easily understand and feel their frustration even though non-related to their own lives--as everyone has many different frustrations in their work and life.

I do think since the emphasis in the 1st verse topically sets out to reference lyrics/words--that the chorus line might read well, IMO, "Gathering dust, words just turn to rust" - then in the next vs okay using "they" as it will be understood immediately. Its fine how you have it, but using "words" there I think is more dramatic and specific which I think is important when launching the lyric/theme in general with this song.

I really enjoyed Deej's music interpretation and the vocal performance captures your empathy for this frustrated writer. Nice job, both!

steady-eddie

#1169621 - 09/27/20 08:12 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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JAPOV Online happy
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Nicely done Deej! Sometimes a lyric just speaks to you smile

#1169683 - 09/29/20 09:59 AM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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Birmingham, UK
Hi Deej

This is a lovely song and I really enjoyed it. The title hook is really good, but my only small nit is rhyming 'me' with 'me' in the build up, it jars a bit and lessens the hook payoff.

As a suggestion you could rework "much the same as me" into something like "like driftwood in the sea" then "I was only me" will be a bigger payoff - something to consider.

Nigel

#1169685 - 09/29/20 10:12 AM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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ckiphen Offline
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- Select One - huntsville, te...
Good suggestion. Thanks


Ckiphen
#1169731 - 09/29/20 09:05 PM Re: I Was Only Me [Re: Deej56]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Eddie, JAPOV and Nigel:

Thanks for stopping in. Really glad the song worked for you all.

Eddie: Really good suggestion, and were I to re-record the vocal, I'd use is as I think the specificity does help (though I'd delete the "just"--one syllable to many to fit in).

Nigel: I dwelled on those lines for quite a bit for the very same reason: I generally don't like rhyming the same word. In this case, though, the lyric said exactly what I wanted it to say--drawing the connection between the singer's views of his words and songs and his view of himself. I liked that idea so much, that I did change Carroll's lyric in the last prechorus form "they turn to rust" to "I've turned to rust" to further accentuate that connection. I just couldn't lose that line. So, vocally, I did try to distract from it a bit in the way I sing that last line, singing the "I" with a pause before finishing with the "was only me". May not have worked all that well, but it's one of those times when substance for me trumped the general rhyming rule. But totally get where you're coming from. Thanks for the thoughtful comment.

My best to all of you,

Deej


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