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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal/broken-arrow-bridge-demoBroken Arrow Bridge © 2010 Greg Shields, Robert GeorgePam and Janet used to cry and squeeze their baby dolls When their daddy started yelling in a haze of alcohol When they heard their mama weeping and the whiskey bottles break They’d sneak out through the window and out the backyard gate Then they’d run out through the fur trees just as fast as they could go Come out by the creek bed, hold hands and hide below Broken arrow bridge Under the eyes of angels watching from the ridge Some things heal with time, others need God’s Will to shine Some how he knew which was which Under broken arrow bridgeThen one new year’s eve their daddy passed the point of no return Making sure they stayed together wasn’t child welfare’s concern Cause their mama went to heaven and their daddy went to jail Though they lived in separate foster homes, they shared the same hell Little Janet hugged her teddy fighting back the tears of grief She’d hide under her blanket every night like her and Pam beneath Broken arrow bridge Under the eyes of angels watching from the ridge Some things heal with time, others need God’s Will to shine Somehow he knew which was which Under broken arrow bridgeJanet came of age and tried to find her sister once again She was sure that Pam had never seen their daddy in the pen After many calls and letters on a chilly new year’s eve She walked out through a graveyard, past the leaning stones and trees Then she laid a rose where someone had already laid a wreath And tears of joy overwhelmed her when she found Pam waiting there beneath Broken arrow bridge Under the eyes of an angel watching from the ridge Some things heal with time, others need God’s Will to shine Somehow he knew which was which Under broken arrow bridge
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Awful sad, I'm cryin'. Good song.
I couldn't figure out the end. Did she find her sister in the graveyard dead or alive?
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Alive. I'm pretty sure, haha. It's been a long time since I'd heard it. The wreath had been laid by Pam at their mother's grave. I'm glad you liked it.
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Very sad but good song. It takes a very creative person to created something like this. Wondering if this was inspired by a true story or pure fiction? Set in the namesake Oklahoma town?
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Fiction. And I'd never heard of the town. You want your title to be memorable. Thanks beechnut.
Last edited by couchgrouch; 09/13/20 04:24 PM.
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Its a short story and not a song. A good collaborator helped make it sound like a commercial tune, but if you hadnt pasted the lyrics on the page, doubtful anybody would make anything out of it.
Too verbose.
Kudos for making a short story that works, but this is dependent on the recording and performance.
The folks who depend on band in a box have to hear the difference a real musician and arranger makes.
On top its a rock pop track and a country folk lyric.
Good sounding recording there couchgrouch.
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 09/13/20 05:38 PM.
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Hi Robert, You are verbose, something which all new songwriters believe is a big sin. What they have no clue about is, sometimes you need more than three words to make an image people can see. In my eyes, you are the best storyteller here. This is a very good song. I do agree with Polly that it sounds like she found her sister dead because that is how the line reads to me too. The simple fix would be to have Pam's name on the wreath.
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Sunset Poet...for everyone. I remember people liking it way back when. It was signed/pitched as I recall.
FD, it does sound like a commercial tune. It is a short story that works. And it is a good sounding track. I suspect all those reasons are why it was published.
A word about the rest.
I first heard Three Wooden Crosses on a car radio after hearing it was awesome. I was completely lost. I googled the lyric and it IS awesome.
Dylan brought a lyrical depth to songs in the early 60s. Those able to, keep pushing those limits.
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Couch , its fine story telling. Without the track where is it?
And it's not to say lyrics don't matter, I mean how many people have a favorite song where the lyrics don't matter? Dance fans maybe.
But there are conflicts I hear with it. Published? By whom?
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John w spare me please . if you were verbose you wouldn't be able to write like this.
" what they fail to realize". Biting tongue. As mom used to say, kill em with kindness.
You got some great lyrics there John...
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Hi Robert and Greg:
A sad but memorable song. To me, in this one... the story is equally important as the melody. Congratulations on a great collaboration.
----Dave
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What do you know Dave? Lollll
If the lyric wasn't posted, the lyrics would have to shine through without being written. And I suspect not many comments would be on the lyric. How the words sound is always better than how they read
To test, I suggest couch post his next song without lyric and see how many comments are on the lyric. Aside from, how come you didn't post the lyric.
I think the chorus sounds good, cause broken arrow bridge sounds good, not sure I would know what the song was saying . not necessarily a must, many songs I have no idea what they are about and it doesn't matter.
But I realize this is a pitch and publishers don't like much mystery.
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 09/13/20 07:22 PM.
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Beautiful melody, great voice and fine arrangement.
The story could make a movie of the week and a video from the movie.
_ _ _ Have fun!
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Hi FD:
Knowledge is power... and thus, my power is diminished. In my youth our only source for music... in terms of affordability... was the AM Radio. No lyrics were to be found unless one happened to be so "enamoured" with the song first heard on the Uncle Dudley Show on KCMC... a quick trip to the Music Store could solve that little problem.
My thoughts about responses to songs posted here at Brian's Place are about the shyness of 90% of the participants... Lyrics or not. I also believe the melody is usually about 75% more important than the lyric... with a few exceptions... such as this one.
In today's world, God knows what Publishers, Producers, Labels and Artists are looking for... but then, most Artists do the whole schmeer, thus increasing profits and time for more songs not requiring much in the way of splits.
Throw in the Music Modernization Act and Streaming... then what do you have? A license to plunder.
Have a great week! ----Dave
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I'm not going to say who the pub is. I think that's a bad idea. I'll bet Marc's heard of them. It's been ten years. It might be they were pitching it. The last thing they pitched was Fade to Blonde.
Speaking of which.
Not everything I do is wordy. Fade to Blonde, Carefree River, Let the Leaves Go Their Way, I Drink Therefore I Am.
Edited to remove unnecessary snark.
Last edited by couchgrouch; 09/13/20 09:48 PM.
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Well Dave, for me asking if the lyrics matter is akin to asking if the bass line matters. Its all part of the sum. Sometimes the bass goes boom,boom,boom, other times it does some really cool [naughty word removed] like a Paul Macca line.
I think we try to seperate it all, but pros know its all about serving whatever is trying to be done.
I love a band called The Ramones, I think they are brilliant at stinking...lol. If that's a thing, their lyrics do enough and were intenionally paired back to affect. Nobody does bad like The Ramones....
I also love Dylan's ballad in plain d, here the music and structure is enough to make you stop listening to music forever. Yet he manages to hook me, with his story and his delivery and I never feel lacking when I hear it, amazing how he achieved that.
I think the music attracts you like a pretty face, then the lyric is like getting inside that girls heart and learning she's more than just a pretty face.
But I now believe that performance, production , musicianship , recording all are a part, we hear songs, we don't read, or sell songs, we sell recordings and performances of songs.
William Shattner completely butchered many a Beatles song. And I haven't heard any cover of w Beatles song that was better than the Beatles, so there's something to be said for everything working together
Initially you need good lyrical hooks, and good individual lines in case the story gets lost.
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 09/13/20 09:31 PM.
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That's fair enough Couch.
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Well that's not nice calling this song a yawner Dave.
And I hate to interject a songwriting conversation...on the songwriting site.
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