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#1167731 - 08/13/20 02:27 PM Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 165
PaulCanuck Offline
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PaulCanuck  Offline
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Collab with a fellow Canadian who goes by the moniker HappyDays.and wrote the lyrics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS3Nj61Cm9U

Dawn in London Time

Simple days were long ago
When you and I were holding close
Thatís before I had to let you go

Your fate was in another zone
Changing zip codes, different homes
And now, it's come to this: Iím alone
So Alone

And itís dawn in London time
I wish you knew the way Iím feeling
While I'm crying in your night
Youíre wide awake in my evening
Itís dawn in London time

For weeks now next to nothing comes
A text, a call, they're only crumbs
I wonder if the flight has left you numb?

I thought that I could handle it
We deserve much more than this
Will I be strong enough without your kiss?
I miss your kiss

Ďcause itís dawn in London time
I wish you knew the way Iím feeling
While I'm crying in your night
Youíre wide awake in my evening
Itís dawn in London time
...

Itís dawn in London time
I wish you knew the way Iím feeling
While I'm crying in your night
Youíre wide awake in my evening
Itís dawn in London time

#1167733 - 08/13/20 03:07 PM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,893
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Real nice Paul....love the way the chorus breaks out and the way you colour its ending


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#1167750 - 08/13/20 06:11 PM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Dave Rice (D) Offline
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Dave Rice (D)  Offline
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Texas
Enjoyed my listen, Paul:

Nice melody, effective lyric and great performance. Best of luck with it.

----Dave

#1167758 - 08/13/20 07:47 PM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: May 2017
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Gavin Sinclair Offline
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Gavin Sinclair  Offline
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Posts: 1,515
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Great! I have nothing to add to that smile

#1167774 - 08/14/20 05:37 AM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,865
Nigel Quin Offline
Nigel Quin  Offline

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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,865
Birmingham, UK
Hi Paul

Really nice poignant song, very enjoyable.

Nigel

PS. Good to see you got Big Ben's clock working again wink

#1167797 - 08/14/20 10:57 AM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,733
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Posts: 6,733
UK
Good job, Paul.
Now you have to write the whole musical. :-)

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1167812 - 08/14/20 01:52 PM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,643
E Swartz Offline
E Swartz  Offline

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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,643
Ohio
Paul,

An exceptional melody, especially the hook. Great potential here--(Billy Joel-esk).

steady-eddie

#1167934 - 08/17/20 09:13 AM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 165
PaulCanuck Offline
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PaulCanuck  Offline
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Posts: 165
John, Dave, Gavin, Nigel, Vic and Eddie - thanks for the kind words of encouragement.
and Nigel - yeah it was tough climbing up inside that clock and fixing its gears smile
cheers guys
Paul

#1167962 - 08/17/20 12:41 PM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,931
Mackie H. Offline
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Mackie H.  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2009
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NASHVILLE, TN
Paul

I like the production very much!

I kept thinking DAWN IN LONDON TOWN

Maclie

#1168112 - 08/19/20 02:01 PM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Oct 2019
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PaulCanuck Offline
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PaulCanuck  Offline
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Thanks Mackie - very kind of you. smile

#1168120 - 08/19/20 02:50 PM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 767
Steve Altonian Online content
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Steve Altonian  Online Content
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Posts: 767
Los Angeles, California
Hey Paul,

I like the melody. Couple of thoughts...

1. In a break-up crumbs is a close word used, but "bread-crumbs" is the full phrase. Getting "Bread-crumbs" really sucks. I would try to use the full word Bread-Crumbs since it is a break up song..


2. Why no other mention of anything "London" for imagery? Especially in your CHORUS....Since you guys mentioned Big Ben (even though silent while under renovation) , how 'bout something like this...

And itís dawn in London time
Big Bens chimes are softly singing
While I'm crying in your night
Youíre wide awake in my evening
Itís dawn in London time





Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1168316 - 08/23/20 11:01 AM Re: Dawn in London Time - collab w/ @HappyDays [Re: Steve Altonian]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 165
PaulCanuck Offline
Serious Contributor
PaulCanuck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 165
Originally Posted by Steve Altonian
Hey Paul,

I like the melody. Couple of thoughts...

1. In a break-up crumbs is a close word used, but "bread-crumbs" is the full phrase. Getting "Bread-crumbs" really sucks. I would try to use the full word Bread-Crumbs since it is a break up song..


2. Why no other mention of anything "London" for imagery? Especially in your CHORUS....Since you guys mentioned Big Ben (even though silent while under renovation) , how 'bout something like this...

And itís dawn in London time
Big Bens chimes are softly singing
While I'm crying in your night
Youíre wide awake in my evening
Itís dawn in London time


Thanks Steve - I'll pass on those comments to Rocky who wrote the lyrics. Glad you liked the melody smile
Paul


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