Hi, all:

Hope everyone is safe and well. Here's a new collaboration with Travis David. A couple of months back I asked Travis to come up with a lyric we could do something fun with. While the melody and approach came quickly on this one, it took me a little bit to get around to recording a version of it. Anyway, with a few tweaks to the original lyrics, here’s where we ended up. Appreciate as always comments on the production aspects. And thanks in advance for the listen—hope you enjoy it!

My best to you all,

Deej

Here's the song:

LET'S LEAVE BEHIND THIS CRAZY WORLD

Here are the lyrics:

I’m tired of putting on my city suit,
that same old rat race I run everyday.
Fender to fender and boots to boots—
Come on, buddy, get out of my way!

I daydream about us breaking away,
sailing off to the great seas beyond.
There’s nothing here to make us stay.
We’ll be castaways chasing the sun

Let’s get a slow boat, and sail the seas—
forget about this crazy world.
Lift our faces to that ocean breeze
and leave behind this crazy world.

We’ll drop anchor off exotic isles;
walk barefoot across silver sands;
where palm trees grow, and there’s no one for miles—
Just you and me with no better plans.

Let’s get a slow boat, and sail the seas—
forget about this crazy world.
Lift our faces to that ocean breeze
and leave behind this crazy world.

On the beach till midnight,
a crackling fire and salty kisses,
as we dance across the moonlit shore.
Then back to the boat
to spend the night on deck—
I’ll tell you all my dreams, then you’ll tell yours.

Let’s get a slow boat, and sail the seas—
forget about this crazy world.
Lift our faces to that ocean breeze
and leave behind this crazy world.

Nice Calypso/Country sound...This is the type tune you would hear in the summer at "The Waterpark" along with Margaritaville & Brown Eyed Girl...

Only thing I probably wouldn't of done is the double VERSE before the CHORUS.

Just a personal preference, but no biggie...

Good collab

I didn't read the intro, I just scanned the lyric. It says you want to sail away TO the seas. You might mean ON the seas.
You talk about sailing, then about being castaways. Castaways are people stranded on an island after a shipwreck. Then you talk about sailing again. Aside from the redundancy, were you rescued?

I wish you well with the song. I just wondered.

Hi Guys:

Enjoyed my listen. No nits on the words... it isn't the kind of song requiring specifics. It seems like "escape" from all the worry and malarky we are forced to endure in this pandemic and traitor driven anarchy... as if we didn't have enough to worry about. Thanks for sharing guys. Good luck with it.

----Dave

Future perfect tense. Nothing has happened at all except conjecture of what they might do.

Nice lyric, song, and performance.

Mike

The guy dreams of being shipwrecked on an island to escape the rat race? I think that was Tom Hanks' desire in Castaway...

Welcome back, Mike.

Steve, couchgrouch, Dave and Mike,

Thanks all for the listen and feedback. Regarding the two points raised above, personally I’m comfortable with the existing lyric choices, though I’ll see if Travis has a perspective on it. “Sailing on the great seas” could work, but presumably this person must leave a harbor or inlet, e.g., to get “to” the great seas that lie “beyond”.

As for the use of “castaway,” a fair enough comment, as that is one way the term is defined and perhaps the image that comes to mind most readily, so I understand the perspective. But there is a broader definition to the term (e.g., my Webster dictionary defines it as “1. A person or thing cast out or off; especially an outcast from home or society. 2. One who is shipwrecked; stranded; cast adrift”; and a Google search supports the broader use as well). Alternative words, in my mind, wouldn’t work as well (e.g., wanderers, travelers, nomads, outcasts). There may be a more perfect word, but here I like the sea-related connotation . . . and regardless in the context of listening to the song, the sentiment I think would be understood.

Again, appreciate the thoughtful comments and different perspectives.

Steve, totally get your comment on the double verse to start--just thought it needed something more before hitting that chorus. Appreciate your thoughts there as well.

My best to all of you . . . and a warm welcome back to Mike. You’ve been missed!

Deej

Holy Cow, Guys:

Look who has returned and has begun posting again! I am so pleased to see that face again... and to enjoy his willingness to "tilt at windmills" here a Brian's Place. Great to have you back, Mike.

----Dave

This is great fun. Wonderful production, strong melody that works well to bring out the feeling of the lyric.

Musically, my favorite part is the third line of the verse and its echo in the chorus. Those long notes give it a real lift. In the first chorus, the internal rhymes (technically repetitions) make this even better. I wonder if you could reproduce this in other verses, either in the same way or at the end of each of the two phrases. I'll take the third verse as an example...

where palm trees grow, and there’s no one for miles—

My ear was looking forward to the line ending with a rhyme to the word grow. Something like this. You could probably do better)

where palm trees grow, and ocean breezes blow (but you already have breezes in the chorus).
where palm trees grow, and the waves kiss our toes

It's fine as it is. Just that, to my ear, the melodic emphasis on those words invites a rhyme.

Couch is technically correct about the word castaway. However, I don't think it really matters. The word has acquired an alternative association with just being on a tropical island. He is wrong about the "sailing off to the great seas beyond." If you set sail from a port, you are sailing to the great seas beyond. And if you are setting sail on a small sea like the North Sea or English Channel and heading to the Atlantic or Pacific, you are sailing to the great seas beyond. I like it as it is with the word "to" implying motion and escape.

Couch, instead of just scanning the lyric, put on your headphones and listen. It'll have even you tapping your feet.

Hi Guys,
Just a good fun song, makes me want to go to one of those warm pacific isles. Oops, already there so I'll just listen and sing along...

Respectfully, Gavin, we disagree on what a toe-tapping song is. And there is no "alternate" meaning of that word. There's a meaning so rare I've never heard it or seen it, and there's the common one, someone shipwrecked on an island. I just mentioned it. It's not my song, good luck with it.

Ps...have you ever heard Some Beach by Blake Shelton? It has the same theme as this. That's a toe tapper and I've heard the demo. It's very simple. The song's got a killer hook, vivid vss and the first vs doesn't have a word that doesn't belong there.

OK, Couch, if your toes won't tap, get yourself a grass skirt off Amazon and sway to the melody in front of one of those Arizona cacti. You don't even have to move your feet.

You're right about the meaning. I used the word "association." People associate the word with a romantic tropical island. That's why I think you can get away with using it even if it's not technically correct.

Deej sent me a message to write a lyric in 15 minutes here it is.
There were some minor changes made along the way.
Dave likewise came up with this melody within a very short period and IMHO did a great job getting to here.
It's a fun, happy song with that remarkable Deej vocal.
Thanks for all suggestions, comments and support
I've been unwell lately so please forgive me for not responding to individual comments
With Regards
John
PS
Mike. Great to see you around again!

A pleasant, happy little tune. Something to brighten up this dull period.

Vic

Well written and well done.
AABABCBB
I liked the way you finished this song. I will try to apply in some of my songs.
Nice song.

_ _ _
Have fun!

Deej/John,

You have a good one here in my opinion--the music lifts the spirit which is a popular and needed feeling these days. Even though this is a strong chorus driven song, I like two verses before the chorus given the tempo and also allows to establish more story build PC, however I do think a shorter interlude between vs 1 & 2 would alleviate a break that is "not yet needed," let the chorus be the first change-up--JMO. I really enjoyed this guys!

steady-eddie

This is a fun upbeat tune that is well produced, written and performed.
Speaking of performances those are excellent harmonies!

Love the band you put together with the island, reggae and country influences.
It offers a very pleasant mashup.

And you wrapped it all up in a fine mix that sets a really nice soundstage on our monitors.

Be safe all.

J&B

PS: We can discuss production values here - right?

You two can discuss production values... or any thing else you choose to help JPF get a "leg up" on the music world! LOL! Always good to see you here. Feel free to pitch a tent or build a Sky Scraper if it will help you decide to stick around. Your posts and songs are sorely missed.

All the best, ----Dave

I like this song. No quibbles about the lyric from me. Glad you didn’t ‘cast away’ this song to the dustbin!

Good song - puts me in mind of Jimmy Buffet - dreaming of running away to a tropical paradise can relate to many in this stressed-out world IMO.
Great conversational vocals/lyrics and I especially liked the bridge - though I thought the background aaahs were a bit loud there
Nice work
Paul

Thanks folks for the listen and great feedback
Regards
John

Gavin, John, Vic, Guy, Eddie, J&B, Craig and Paul:

I haven't found time to spend on the board of late (well, the last month or so, lol!), but am doing some catching up this morning. My apologies for the late reply and thanks for all your feedback and comments. Paul, I think you are right about the oohs and aaah . . . I struggled mightily finding the right balance on those. Eddie, definitely worth a shorter interluded between the opening verses . . . if I were to revisit this I'd definitely give that some thought.

Hope you all are doing well.

Regards,

Deej