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#1167522 - 08/10/20 12:19 PM Hang On To Yourself  
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 51
kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Dublin, Ireland
This one is a fairly straightforward rock tune .... would be interested in feedback on the mix etc.

Updated version, incorporating feedback and suggestions and now called "Know What You Need"

https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32048006-know-what-you-need

Original :

https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32038651-hang-on-to-yourself


Hang on to Yourself

As the silence looms
I feel you drift away from me
I can see it coming
I can feel the change
I can see it coming
Coming like a train

Chorus

I have always tried to love
But you know what you have to do
To hang on to yourself

I have always known
It would be this way in the end
I could see the future
Written in the past
I can see the future
Nothing ever lasts

Chorus

You know what you need
You know what you need
You know what you need
You know what you need

You know what you need
You know what you need
You know what you need
You know what you need

As the silence looms
You've nothing left to say to me
There's no point in trying
To remain the same
There's no point in trying
It won't ease the pain

Chorus

You know what you need
You know what you need
You know what you need
You know what you need






Last edited by kevinism; 08/14/20 04:34 AM.
#1167533 - 08/10/20 01:27 PM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: kevinism]  
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Gavin Sinclair Offline
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Gavin Sinclair  Offline
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As you say, a straightforward rock tune, and a good one. Not sure that the repeats of "You know what you need" add anything. If you keep them, maybe you could cut them down to 4 repetitions instead of 8? Just a thought.

I thought the mix and overall production was pretty much spot on. The vocals and the guitar really stand out in the mix, as they should. I'm anything but an expert, so maybe others will have some tips. To me, it sounded great.

#1167541 - 08/10/20 02:33 PM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 727
Steve Altonian Online content
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Hey Kevin, Nice 80's tune...

I would call it "Hang On"

And change the structure a little..Gavin is right only 4 repetitions with maybe a twist. I'm just giving you a basic structure and idea of how I hear it. I threw some dummy lyrics in what I think is an 80's CHORUS. But they kinda work in what you are trying to say

I kinda feel what you have labeled as a CHORUS should actually function as a PRE-CHORUS

As the silence looms
I feel you drift away from me
I can see it coming
I can feel the change
I can see it coming
Coming like a train

PRE-CHORUS

I have always tried to love you
You know what you have to do to hang on to yourself

CHORUS

You know what you need
Hang on close to me
You know what you need
Hang on here you'll see

Repeat your song to 2nd verse and end with this kind of structure

That's my quickie 2 cents....





Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1167565 - 08/11/20 04:53 AM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: Steve Altonian]  
Joined: Feb 2018
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kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Dublin, Ireland
Steve, great idea! Leave it with me for a couple of days and I will post an updated version. Many thanks, much appreciated! Kevin

#1167568 - 08/11/20 09:40 AM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 727
Steve Altonian Online content
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I got a feeling when all is said & done you will be torn on the TITLE of the tune. Most people will not call it "hang on". Once they hear the HOOK, the will say hey man play

"You Know What You Need"


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1167572 - 08/11/20 11:49 AM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Jul 2017
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ckiphen Online content
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ckiphen  Online Content
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- Select One - huntsville, te...
Good driving beat. Can't help getting caught up in the rhythm. Straight forward rocker. Kudos!


Ckiphen
#1167574 - 08/11/20 12:13 PM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 147
Guy E. Trepanier Offline
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Guy E. Trepanier  Offline
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Quebec
My suggestion on the structure:
Verse1, chorus, verse2, chorus, bridge, solo, verse3, chorus, chorus.

About the bridge and solo:
You know what you need (repeated 4x) and add a solo.

I like the beat and the rhythm of your song.

_ _ _
Have fun!

#1167577 - 08/11/20 01:56 PM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,346
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Kevin,

Nice sound, good driving rhythm to keep the listener engaged and head rocking; nice lead vocal. An 80s-ish sound to this—some elements that remind me of Split Enz. I think you’ve gotten some good suggestions below to consider—and I don’t have a whole lot to add—but sounding pretty good as is. Good work!

All my best,

Deej

#1167773 - 08/14/20 04:32 AM Re: Hang On To Yourself [Re: kevinism]  
Joined: Feb 2018
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kevinism Offline
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kevinism  Offline
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Dublin, Ireland
Many thanks for the feedback and advice, most of which I have taken. I have posted a new version (of the song now called "Know What You Need") here :

https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32048006-know-what-you-need

Best wishes, Kevin


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