Who's Online Now
16 registered members (Dave Rice, Fdemetrio, Jethro Aberdeen, couchgrouch, ckiphen, CTthomas, Everett Adams, Guy E. Trepanier, 2 invisible), and 167 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Kris Karr
Kris Karr
Iowa
Posts: 273
Joined: September 2003
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Edit: ALL Corona Virus Post MUST Go Here
by Fdemetrio. 09/22/20 12:42 PM
Want to know who is running your country?
by Jethro Aberdeen. 09/22/20 12:40 PM
I Was Only Me
by Deej56. 09/21/20 11:24 PM
Like Frankenstein
by ckiphen. 09/21/20 03:40 PM
Emmy Award Winner...
by John Lawrence Schick. 09/21/20 11:33 AM
The Fountain
by Mackie H.. 09/21/20 09:50 AM
Gone is the Innocence
by ckiphen. 09/20/20 09:54 PM
Tribute to the Greats!
by Moosesong. 09/20/20 09:51 PM
Giving lyrists a slap of the backside
by John W. Selleck. 09/20/20 08:45 PM
helping hands?
by Fdemetrio. 09/20/20 08:35 PM
Melancholy Moments
by John W. Selleck. 09/20/20 04:17 PM
A Very Lucky Daughter
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:15 PM
TALK TO ME
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:13 PM
Around You
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:09 PM
California Burnin
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:08 PM
I Can Dance
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:06 PM
When Lightning Struck
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:05 PM
Let Me Live The Dream
by Steve Altonian. 09/20/20 12:36 PM
The Wind
by Mackie H.. 09/20/20 11:53 AM
The Latest Thing
by Vicarn. 09/20/20 05:15 AM
Bass Reeves. Vic
by Vicarn. 09/19/20 03:44 PM
The darker Side of me
by ckiphen. 09/19/20 02:39 PM
We Just Called Her Mom
by Deej56. 09/19/20 01:54 PM
::The Source - a hip hop anthem ::
by Deej56. 09/19/20 01:53 PM
Sorry Babe
by Songbird52. 09/19/20 01:52 PM
"Beyond" Island style cover by my son Thomas
by Deej56. 09/19/20 01:50 PM
The Battle Of Lake Travis
by Deej56. 09/19/20 01:49 PM
Looking In
by Deej56. 09/19/20 01:49 PM
Ohio River Blues--a little Blues from steady
by Deej56. 09/19/20 01:48 PM
Bacon (Carroll Kiphen's lyric)
by Deej56. 09/19/20 01:47 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,949
Kevin Emmrich 10,750
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,910
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,840
Dave Rice 7,831
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,675
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,691
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,241
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,120
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,816
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,611
E Swartz 3,552
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,856
MidniteBob 2,712
Fdemetrio 2,689
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Sunset Poet 2,327
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
Deej56 1,343
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Gerry 1,231
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,199
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
IronKnee 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 952
9ne 932
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 761
Andy K 747
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Irwin 679
Lee Arten 678
Pat Hardy 653
Moosesong 652
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 563
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
R&M 528
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
ckiphen 516
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
Alek 357
papaG 353
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 292
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
pd 277
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1167434 - 08/07/20 02:57 PM Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger  
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 8
Chris Wood Offline
Casual Observer
Chris Wood  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 8
Blackpool

A lovely little country love song with my friend Mike

https://soundcloud.com/chris-wood-88/hey-moonlight

Enjoy

“Hey Moonlight”



When I listen with my heart

I always find the answer

For my feelings really know

Just what I'm after



Between the glow of fireflies

Suddenly I realize



CHORUS:

Hey moonlight,

Can you shine a little brighter?

And pull the stars any closer

So I can bring back the magic of love again

Hey moonlight,

Will you do me a favor?

For I really need her

And I don't want this night to ever, ever end



How I fill up all my time

On the one who owns my dreams

And I could never deny

The emotions that I feel



Soon I’ll see the gift of her face

As my pulse quickens its pace



CHORUS

BRIDGE:

Now here she comes

Walkin' my way

I've silenced my cell phone

But what do I say?

Maybe I could use

Some more help from you


CHORUS OUT

#1167441 - 08/07/20 03:49 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,824
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Gary E. Andrews  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,824
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Introductory Movement: About 7 seconds. Splendid! Just 'Enough' to serve that function and get us to the Verse Movement.
I don't understand some Lines as sung. The words seem jammed together, losing their individual space to communicate.
I'd slow it down, sing it like that to polish the execution, so enunciation is better when you bring it back to the desired tempo.
Your first 'hit' on THE Hook/title is at about 28 seconds in. Splendid! Under the rule, "Don't bore us! Get to the Chorus!" That makes it memorable, if they can 'get' the storyline, the setup Exposition in the preceding Lyric.

"Hey Moonlight”
(Verse I)
When I listen with my heart (The word 'I' come out sounding like 'a'. You may lose the listener in Line 1.)
I always find the answer
For my feelings really know (Using 'For' is a poetic style, more for the written page than vocal delivery. It 'clutters' the Line a bit. It might 'sing' better without it.)
Just what I'm after

Between the glow of fireflies ('Between' sounds like 'Butween', which confused me as I had to figure out that it wasn't 'But' something. Again, short Lines, very few words, you want the listener to get every one of them on first listen, to get 'hooked' into the storyline and stay hooked. Lose a word and a Line fails, and maybe a Verse fails, and they come 'unhooked', drifting off to other thoughts, not paying attention. There's something missing in enunciation of 'fireflies' too. I didn't get it the first time I heard it. In fact I don't think I got it on a second listen, maybe on a third, and only got it when I went then to read the Lyric.)
Suddenly I realize (Enunciating the 'dd' in 'Suddenly' better might communicate the word better.)

(CHORUS)
Hey Moonlight, (Memorable! One hearing and they'll never forget it. It's replaying in my head right now.)
can you shine a little brighter, (Comma, sentence continues.)
And pull the stars any closer, (Delete 'And' to unclutter the Line and communicate more succinctly.)
so I can bring back the magic of love again? (Sentence ends here.)
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
For I really need her ('For' again, cluttter.)
And I don't want this night to ever, ever end (Delete 'And')

(Verse II)
How I fill up all my time (Not easy to understand this Line.)
On the one who owns my dreams (Or this one.)
And I could never deny ('And?)
The emotions that I feel (Separate 'The and 'e-motions'.)

Soon I’ll see the gift of her face
As my pulse quickens its pace (Do you need 'As' to open this Line? Could it work better without it?)

(CHORUS)

(BRIDGE)

Now here she comes
walkin' my way!
I've silenced my cell phone ('I've' doesn't come through.)
But what do I say? ('But' doesn't come through. Delete it.)

Maybe I could use ('Moonlight' I could use...)
Some more help from you

CHORUS
CODA
(With eight 'hits' on THE Hook it is unforgettable. And you get it all done in two minutes thirty-two seconds, very 'radio friendly', short, leaving more time for commercial advertising that pays radio's bills.)


"Hey Moonlight”

(Verse I)
When I listen with my heart
I always find the answer.
My feelings really know,
just what I'm after
(Pre-Chorus Lift)
Between the glow of fireflies
Suddenly I realize

(CHORUS)
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
I really need her!
I don't want this night to ever, ever end!

(Verse II)
How I fill up all my time
On the one who owns my dreams
I could never deny
The emotions that I feel!

Soon I’ll see the gift of her face!
My pulse quickens its pace!

(CHORUS)
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
I really need her!
I don't want this night to ever, ever end!

(BRIDGE)

Now here she comes
walkin' my way!
I've silenced my cell phone.
What do I say?

Moonlight I could use
Some more help from you

CHORUS
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
I really need her!
I don't want this night to ever, ever end!

(CODA)
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight!


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1167465 - 08/07/20 09:07 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,552
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,552
Ohio
CW,

I enjoyed your song, I think you could enhance the production a bit--it feels like there's a lot of reverb on the master post of the song giving the song a more distant vibe as if you were in a large club listening to a band on stage. I think you could warm this mix up a bit which would personalize the song more and draw the listener in a bit more. I do think the song has potential and you have a great start!

steady-eddie

#1167468 - 08/07/20 11:01 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Texas
Hi again, Chris:

I listened, liked what I heard. It sounds "modern and fresh"... but to my ears, is not "country" (traditional) in its present form. Best of luck with it. You have a great voice.

----Dave

#1167470 - 08/08/20 10:12 AM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,299
Gavin Sinclair Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,299
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I guess Dave is right that this doesn't sound like traditional country. It does sound like contemporary country though. In fact, it checks all the boxes, not just in it's "feel," but also its structure and length. You could pitch this.

That hook is a real earworm. Like Gary, I can hear it going around my head after I've listened. It'll probably stick with me all day.

I agree with Eddie that you could warm up the mix a little and give the vocals more presence. It might help with making out the lyrics, which are sometimes a little difficult to understand.

Great job!

#1167575 - 08/11/20 01:55 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,343
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,343
Chris,

I liked this tune a lot. Really nice hook on that chorus—executed really well with the harmonies just right—an ear worm hook that will get folks singing along. If I had only a suggestion it would to be think about the “i’ve silenced my cell phone” line, only because I think there’s an opportunity to say something more—though I get the intent behind it. But that’s a small nit—and a subjective one at that to be taken as such—the song works really well as is. Nicely done! Killer vocals as always.

All my best,

Deej


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
johnparagreen, theodorekidd, stupid_blogger, TrueMusicHelper, Dean McAlister
21291 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics120,816
Posts1,137,092
Members21,291
Average Posts Daily37
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"The commercial that says "you never get a second chance to make a first impression" may be true. Our job should be making sure that we give the person we are judging the chance to make that first impression themselves, in person, for real." –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0