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#1167434 - 08/07/20 02:57 PM Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger  
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 8
Chris Wood Online content
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Chris Wood  Online Content
Casual Observer

Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 8
Blackpool

A lovely little country love song with my friend Mike

https://soundcloud.com/chris-wood-88/hey-moonlight

Enjoy

“Hey Moonlight”



When I listen with my heart

I always find the answer

For my feelings really know

Just what I'm after



Between the glow of fireflies

Suddenly I realize



CHORUS:

Hey moonlight,

Can you shine a little brighter?

And pull the stars any closer

So I can bring back the magic of love again

Hey moonlight,

Will you do me a favor?

For I really need her

And I don't want this night to ever, ever end



How I fill up all my time

On the one who owns my dreams

And I could never deny

The emotions that I feel



Soon I’ll see the gift of her face

As my pulse quickens its pace



CHORUS

BRIDGE:

Now here she comes

Walkin' my way

I've silenced my cell phone

But what do I say?

Maybe I could use

Some more help from you


CHORUS OUT

#1167441 - 08/07/20 03:49 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,823
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Gary E. Andrews  Offline

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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,823
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Introductory Movement: About 7 seconds. Splendid! Just 'Enough' to serve that function and get us to the Verse Movement.
I don't understand some Lines as sung. The words seem jammed together, losing their individual space to communicate.
I'd slow it down, sing it like that to polish the execution, so enunciation is better when you bring it back to the desired tempo.
Your first 'hit' on THE Hook/title is at about 28 seconds in. Splendid! Under the rule, "Don't bore us! Get to the Chorus!" That makes it memorable, if they can 'get' the storyline, the setup Exposition in the preceding Lyric.

"Hey Moonlight”
(Verse I)
When I listen with my heart (The word 'I' come out sounding like 'a'. You may lose the listener in Line 1.)
I always find the answer
For my feelings really know (Using 'For' is a poetic style, more for the written page than vocal delivery. It 'clutters' the Line a bit. It might 'sing' better without it.)
Just what I'm after

Between the glow of fireflies ('Between' sounds like 'Butween', which confused me as I had to figure out that it wasn't 'But' something. Again, short Lines, very few words, you want the listener to get every one of them on first listen, to get 'hooked' into the storyline and stay hooked. Lose a word and a Line fails, and maybe a Verse fails, and they come 'unhooked', drifting off to other thoughts, not paying attention. There's something missing in enunciation of 'fireflies' too. I didn't get it the first time I heard it. In fact I don't think I got it on a second listen, maybe on a third, and only got it when I went then to read the Lyric.)
Suddenly I realize (Enunciating the 'dd' in 'Suddenly' better might communicate the word better.)

(CHORUS)
Hey Moonlight, (Memorable! One hearing and they'll never forget it. It's replaying in my head right now.)
can you shine a little brighter, (Comma, sentence continues.)
And pull the stars any closer, (Delete 'And' to unclutter the Line and communicate more succinctly.)
so I can bring back the magic of love again? (Sentence ends here.)
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
For I really need her ('For' again, cluttter.)
And I don't want this night to ever, ever end (Delete 'And')

(Verse II)
How I fill up all my time (Not easy to understand this Line.)
On the one who owns my dreams (Or this one.)
And I could never deny ('And?)
The emotions that I feel (Separate 'The and 'e-motions'.)

Soon I’ll see the gift of her face
As my pulse quickens its pace (Do you need 'As' to open this Line? Could it work better without it?)

(CHORUS)

(BRIDGE)

Now here she comes
walkin' my way!
I've silenced my cell phone ('I've' doesn't come through.)
But what do I say? ('But' doesn't come through. Delete it.)

Maybe I could use ('Moonlight' I could use...)
Some more help from you

CHORUS
CODA
(With eight 'hits' on THE Hook it is unforgettable. And you get it all done in two minutes thirty-two seconds, very 'radio friendly', short, leaving more time for commercial advertising that pays radio's bills.)


"Hey Moonlight”

(Verse I)
When I listen with my heart
I always find the answer.
My feelings really know,
just what I'm after
(Pre-Chorus Lift)
Between the glow of fireflies
Suddenly I realize

(CHORUS)
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
I really need her!
I don't want this night to ever, ever end!

(Verse II)
How I fill up all my time
On the one who owns my dreams
I could never deny
The emotions that I feel!

Soon I’ll see the gift of her face!
My pulse quickens its pace!

(CHORUS)
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
I really need her!
I don't want this night to ever, ever end!

(BRIDGE)

Now here she comes
walkin' my way!
I've silenced my cell phone.
What do I say?

Moonlight I could use
Some more help from you

CHORUS
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight,
Will you do me a favor?
I really need her!
I don't want this night to ever, ever end!

(CODA)
Hey Moonlight,
can you shine a little brighter,
pull the stars any closer,
so I can bring back the magic of love again?
Hey Moonlight!


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1167465 - 08/07/20 09:07 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,552
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,552
Ohio
CW,

I enjoyed your song, I think you could enhance the production a bit--it feels like there's a lot of reverb on the master post of the song giving the song a more distant vibe as if you were in a large club listening to a band on stage. I think you could warm this mix up a bit which would personalize the song more and draw the listener in a bit more. I do think the song has potential and you have a great start!

steady-eddie

#1167468 - 08/07/20 11:01 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,830
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,830
Texas
Hi again, Chris:

I listened, liked what I heard. It sounds "modern and fresh"... but to my ears, is not "country" (traditional) in its present form. Best of luck with it. You have a great voice.

----Dave

#1167470 - 08/08/20 10:12 AM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,295
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,295
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I guess Dave is right that this doesn't sound like traditional country. It does sound like contemporary country though. In fact, it checks all the boxes, not just in it's "feel," but also its structure and length. You could pitch this.

That hook is a real earworm. Like Gary, I can hear it going around my head after I've listened. It'll probably stick with me all day.

I agree with Eddie that you could warm up the mix a little and give the vocals more presence. It might help with making out the lyrics, which are sometimes a little difficult to understand.

Great job!

#1167575 - 08/11/20 01:55 PM Re: Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger [Re: Chris Wood]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,325
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,325
Chris,

I liked this tune a lot. Really nice hook on that chorus—executed really well with the harmonies just right—an ear worm hook that will get folks singing along. If I had only a suggestion it would to be think about the “i’ve silenced my cell phone” line, only because I think there’s an opportunity to say something more—though I get the intent behind it. But that’s a small nit—and a subjective one at that to be taken as such—the song works really well as is. Nicely done! Killer vocals as always.

All my best,

Deej


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