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Joined: Nov 2010
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From Travis's original lyric about a man who sees the light but not in the kind of way it turned out in the end. I was always a fan of Roger Miller and John Prine so I thought it would be fun to put a little weirdness into the lyric and swing it. https://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold/uriah-keeneURIAH KEENE ©2020 J. Vaughan & V. Arnold Uriah Keene wore a permanent frown Ran a big store at the edge of town where the poor and needy pawned their Sunday clothes He didn't offer much but trade wern't slow and people had nowhere else to go ever since the lumber yard had to close One day there was a sign on the door Said "Closed for a while or maybe more". Folks knew his style and said that wasn't like him Days went by and raised more doubts Uriah wasn't seen anywhere about Everyone moaned, he'd left them out on a limb Ch.1 Uriah, wouldn't give your door a slam Never seemed to give a dam. Pockets like the jaws of a clam Uriah Keene, they called him "Mr. Mean". Kept warm in church for free but wouldn't give the church a bean. All kinds of rumours went around he'd been done to death, buried out of town They carried his cash away in an unused shroud Then one day at church he happened to show Smile on his lips and his face aglow Said he'd been abducted up into the clouds Said he was tied down, prodded, often poked, and in many other ways provoked by tall, pale fellers with glassy big black eyes They told him he should change his ways or they'd come back again some day and change him to their colour, shape and size Ch.2 Uriah ... had an unworldly dream Now he's not so mean The most generous man we've seen Uriah ... they come from miles around just to lay their tributes down at his statue in the town Uriah ... now he's writing his memoirs about his journey to the stars and the men from Mars
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that is so cool, all of it! good writing, great music..I love that stuff... Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Hi Guys:
This one is different to say the least. I listened earlier, got interrupted and wanted to get back to you with feedback... for what it's worth. To me, this one does not "fit the mould" with the body of your usual work.
It is worth a re-write and another recording... but it is not what I would call "memorable" in it's present form. Always remember, this is only one old "coot's" opinion of what he heard and read. No "snarkiness" intended. You know you are two of my favorites.
Regards, ----Dave
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Vic and Travis,
That "Uriah" hook is catchy . . . and a nice change of pace from you both. I like the Scrooge-like transformation in the story and the alternative other-worldly way of getting there. And it's a nice vocal and solid production, as usual Vic. It's not a song that will jump out and grab a listener on the first spin, but there's a lot to like here, and I enjoyed it the first time our and more so with each listen. No nits or suggestions from me on this one.
Regards,
Deej
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Cheers Lane, we appreciate your thumbs uo Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: May 2017
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This reminded me a bit of Rocky Racoon. Good story song with a nice unexpected surreal twist. Good fun.
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Thanks Lane. That's nice to hear.
Vic
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Vic/John,
Really enjoyed this song and story. Great arrangement Vic, but raise the bass 1.5 db..........(kidding).
steady-eddie
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I didn't see this lyrical twist coming...
Travis was you watching Ancient Aliens when you wrote the last half of tune?
I love that first CHORUS guys....Really fun tune
Just shows you how many ways you can take a tune...Beam me up Scotty
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Hi Dave. Thanks for the comment. Can you elaborate a little on what you think needs a rewrite and record? It goes without saying that most songs of mine get rewritten in some way or other over time if I think of a better line or melodic part. At the moment though I can't think of anything. Vic
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Hi Dave Thanks for your feedback and suggestions on a rewrite/ re recording? Hope you are keeping well? Sumner has finally arrived up here in the Lakes. So I intend enjoying before it fades to gray. I'm sure Vic will have changes in mind so keep watching Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Morning, Vic and Travis:
My comment was made to let you two know that I care enough to let you know I never want to appear to be a "rubber stamp of approval" on every song you post together. It would have been easier to listen (like most of the others here) ...say nothing and leave you "in the dark."
I felt that the phrasing was forced a bit by the lyric... but other than that, cannot give you much advice on improving it. A song is an extension of yourself and my measure of success is the "pitchability" it possesses.
That does not make me an expert. Opinions are little more than thoughts... and mine was given in the spirit of that alone.
All the best, ----Dave
Last edited by Dave Rice; 07/19/20 08:18 AM. Reason: clarity
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Joined: Aug 2007
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it seems E Scrooge had a great-great-grandson.Well told story folks. Fills out nicely. Enjoyed the feel of the music too.
Martin
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Thanks Deej. Yes, I was happy with the way the chorus sounds. Not usually a fan of that swing rhythm but it needed it in this one. Thanks for the kind words.
Vic
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Hi Gavin. Never heard of Rocky Racoon 'til you mentioned it. I had to look it up. Thanks for listening.
Vic
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Hi Deej Thanks for the listen and thumbs up Hope you are well? Good to hear from you Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Rocky Racoon Gavin, there's a thought lol Thanks for your ears and comments Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Thanks Ed. Did you say 15 db?
Vic
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Hi Steve. Thanks for looking in. The aliens weren't Travis' fault. I beamed them down, I'm afraid. Couldn't otherwise have come up with a reason for him to change his ways, other than the three ghost idea. Besides, it isn't Christmas yet.
Vic
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Hi again Dave. Thanks for coming back. I had another look at it but can't find any phrasing that sounds wrong apart from the "now he's writing his memoirs" but that was written to sound quirky. I suppose we all have different ways.
Vic
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It's all humbug, Martin. Glad you approve and thanks for listening.
Vic
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Nice one fellas - great story and delivery. Love that piano and the slide guitar. Vocals are top notch too. One tiny nit - maybe lose the "his" from "his memoirs" would fit better. Other than that it's a perfectly baked cake IMHO. cheers Paul
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Thanks for dropping in, Paul. I'll give it a try but but I don't want to lose the quirkiness.
Vic
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Cheers Martin. Thanks for your comments, Scrooge was aphilanthropic compared to Uriah John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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