Couch,

I enjoyed this tune, great verse melody which for me upstages your chorus a bit--actually felt the chorus acting more like a digressing bridge. I know your Wabash Cannonball songs are through with production, I'm just giving you my reaction and opinion. I thought maybe arranging this song with the one "bridge" and replacing the 2nd C with a short instrumental verse melody solo followed by final verse and outro would be sweet and give more power to that unique digressing melody "bridge." Regardless, a great production/vocal performance/ and really solid write! Enjoyed it!

steady-eddie

Thanks Eddie.

Enjoyed my listen, Robert and Cameron:

Its great to see you've done this one in more than one genre... at least that is what I've been led to believe. Best wishes for success.

----Dave

Well written and well done.
Nice soothing song.

_ _ _
Have fun!

Thanks folks.

Jogs along quite nicely then hits the chorus and gets lost.
Seems to lose it's way there, at least in the melody.

Vic

Very nice, the chorus does change up the song a lot but was unexpected, creative and better than predictable same old same old. Chord changes we don't normally hear, I liked it.
Kevin

Thanks Jethro. As I recall, this tune was very well received in Nashville. I seem to remember the structure, melody and chord changes getting attention.

Excellent lyrics, really good vocals and music.. Congrats .

This song belongs on every radio station in the country!

It's pretty cool. He made it work the way he did but it seems he tried to make a pop country chorus out of it, but the lyric is set up differently.

The lead in chord gives impression that it's going to change keys, I think he went up a whole step, but then it comes back down

In short, the melody in the chorus is made for a hook line when it comes, but your lyric hook comes in the verse.

I hear what Vic means, but it does start to come together after a few listens, it lost me too the first time.

You guys are killing me LOL...The HOOK is exactly where it is supposed to be for this song structure which is AABAB.

This tune does NOT have a CHORUS...

The B section in this case is a REFRAIN/BRIDGE...

I know that.

The lyrical hook is in right spot for that structure, and it has no real chorus.

What I said was or tried to articulate was, the music tries to make the (bridge)into a pop chorus, whereby a hook there would be needed. It lifts and builds but has nowhere to go cause that's not how it's structured.

He made it work and sounds decent.

But both writers had different approaches and you can tell they were written seperately.





.

Thanks everyone.

FD, you can't tell anything. That's BS. You know I write lyrics and so here you are with your blarney.
The song was very well commented on by music bizzers and the subject never came up. In fact, the only time it ever came up at all with our tunes was as an example of how to do it properly.

Bump one of your "songs" and compare its prosody, melody and structure to this. It won't fair well.

FD, I wasn't singling you out, you just happened to be the last post of several who thought the REFRAIN/BRIDGE was a CHORUS...

No problem Steve.

Couch, first of all I didn't say it was a bad structure. Secondly, yes I do know you write lyrics first, and not able to write them to music, but I can tell from any song what came first.

Thirdly, even if I cared what you think of my music, and even if your opinion was universally true....big ifs...

It would not make my opinion of this song any better or worse, if I think your ugly, it doesn't matter if I'm ugly, that's not the subject.

I mean I said the song was decent, what the f do you want? Eternal praise? It's not a great song, plan and simple.I said the other one was great.

Make it about me if you must.

I think you are reacting unfairly to FD's comments. Like he says, it is kind of apparent that the lyric and the melody were arrived at separately. To his considerable credit, he listened to this several times, which is above and beyond the call of duty. I salute your courage Fdemetrio. You are a JPF hero.

Thanks Gav, it's not courage, I've been shot at before, song critiques are not that serious lol.

But, Ive seen splattered hopes and dreams by CG with his reviews, but he doesn't take them well.

We probably have different views of the words "courage" and
"Hero". And without the foreknowledge I write lyrics, I doubt the genesis of this song would be apparent to the writer of Pretty Smart Sister.

It's not that big of a deal in and of itself. But FD says my songs are like they're spoken word. So, here's one with an undeniably strong melody, structure and prosody(none of which he has any talent for) and here he is saying, "oh, you can tell this..."

Please.

So anybody who listens to your music must have talent? Nobody else can, don't you realize that the vast majority of music listeners have no talent?

Yes, you are capable of pairing down a lyric if you want to.

but, this melody is so far and away from "undeniably" great. It's just not, but of course it's something you were involved in so it must be.

Out of the hundred of lyrics, and songs you have done was there one you didn't think was great? I stop my own songs a quarter way through cause I don't like it

I failed to make my meaning clear. The courage which I so admire is in listening to this several times.

Lol, I'm a gluten for punishment....

Am I still a hero?

As far as I'm aware a refrain is a short, repeated word or line. A chorus is a longer version of it. Not sure it matters though what it's called.
A rose by any other name, etc.

What I was getting at was the lack of lift there.
I was listening to something moving along quite casually and not unpleasantly, waiting for something to take off and it didn't.

Vic

Yeah, that's why I did the slash Refrain/Bridge...Probably more Bridge-Like...

Many writers, always try to write a soaring CHORUS, but not every song is gonna be that way...

This song structure has sadly been neglected by many writers. Myself included