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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 237 Likes: 11
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 237 Likes: 11 |
Here is one of my songs. Rough demo: My voice + ukulele Remark: This song is intended for a female singer, cute and sexy. https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14048368LET ME LOVE YOU_______________________________________________ Words and music: Guy E. Trépanier, 2019. All rights reserved: Guy E. Trépanier. If you like my songs, please donate: https://www.paypal.me/guyetrepIntro: 4 bars (key of D, 6/8) I know that you want me As much as I do want you I know you dream of me As much as I dream of you Let me lo-ove you Let's make it soft together Let's enjoy each other Let me lo-o-ove youLet's have a drink or two A toast for this lovely night Look up as we go through Tonight that moon is so bright Let me lo-ove you Let's make it soft together Let's enjoy each other Let me lo-o-ove youI get the chill everytime you touch my hand With you I feel like I've found my wonderland Instrumental: 8 bars I know that you want me As much as I do want you I know you dream of me As much as I dream of you Let me lo-ove you Let's make it soft together Let's enjoy each other Let me lo-o-ove you>> Change of key to E << Let me lo-ove you Let's make it soft together Let's enjoy each other Let me lo-o-ove youLet me lo-o-ove you Let me lo-o-ove you Let me lo-o-ove you Guy E. Trepanier #396 Melody: June - July 2019. Lyrics: June - July 2019.
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Nice one, Guy. The simple melody and lyrics have a certain charm.
I think you should leave the word "do" out of the line "As much as I do want you."
I'm not sure that "Let's make it soft together" works very well. Leaving aside the fact that the presence of a cute and sexy female singer requesting permission to love you would be liable to have the opposite effect, I think I get what you're trying to say, but idiomatically it seems a little strange. It should be easy to find an alternative.
I think that chill is usually used in the plural in the way you use it in the bridge: "I get the chills..." or just "I get chills..."
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"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
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