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#1165653 - 06/20/20 10:39 PM A Daydream Night  
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One of the few decent recordings I got on my old gear, just wondering, is this catchy? Does it hook you musically, atmospherically, lyrically, vocally?, Does it create a mood? Asking for a friend

https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13712118

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/20/20 10:39 PM.
#1165657 - 06/20/20 11:43 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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"Cars" vibe, cool! Ok so there's a lot to like here. Singing is so well done! I'd like to hear the verse that starts at 1:19 repeated. Like the rhythm guitar pattern till the vocal starts then it should change. (too repetitive throughout) Lyric is difficult to follow.(The Gina bit is out of nowhere) Some very nice work here, best of luck!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1165659 - 06/20/20 11:53 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Thanks, its just a hooky track.

Try rewriting the lyrics, it wont be easy. melody is only made for a few words. Gina is who he was talking to all along

It's just a commercial track, the music was used without any vocals on a financial advisor podcast. He liked the music and I didn't charge him a royalty...a good 30 people heard it....

#1165660 - 06/21/20 12:07 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Still, I think it IS worth a look, just to bring the song to it's potential...


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1165661 - 06/21/20 12:16 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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I'm in the process of going through old stuff and new stuff I got some new recording stuff too. I'm gonna be banging out alot of new stuff.

But just to show you what I mean, I offer you a chance to rewrite the lyric, using the same melody, if I think it works and sounds better than this i will rerecord it using your lyrics.

There's not many choices....


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/21/20 12:17 AM.
#1165663 - 06/21/20 12:37 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Well, I'm constantly working on my own stuff so why I want to take on yours... but PM your lyric so I can match the phrasing, I'll do a verse or whatever see if it suits: MUSIC!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1165664 - 06/21/20 01:32 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Cause it sounded like you had a better idea of how to fix it. I wanted to hear your ideas.

There aren't many lyrics that would work in this context, almost none, I tried a few alternatives but it's based on the sound of the words not the story. On this one.

Haven't heard your stuff, where do you work on them?


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/21/20 01:38 AM.
#1165665 - 06/21/20 07:09 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Keep going with it.
Sounds good to me.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1165669 - 06/21/20 09:45 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Thanx Vic, I'd use a smiley face but why be predictable!

#1165674 - 06/21/20 10:28 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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We all have them, like it or not, sitting next to our name.
I got used to mine now.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1165676 - 06/21/20 11:03 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Hello

I love the production of this the melody is killer in all that I have learned in song writing it is so important to build to the tittle the lyric is weak the the production and performance is Great the verse and pre chorus did not lead me to that killer hook I hope this helps

#1165726 - 06/22/20 12:53 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Hello ...

I may not be the right listener to answer most of your questions. But I'll give you my thoughts in general.

The vocal is very strong and the b/g tracks fill nicely. I like the change of the left channel guitar on the chorus as it breaks up a sound that could, otherwise, become monotonous. In my ears, the change was enough to dilute that concern.

I tend to view/listen to songs from the big picture POV, rather than picking at details ... unless the details are distracting. I try to take off my musician/songwriter hat and listen as the average person might. I want to hear a good story (on vocals) and backing tracks that support the story ... in other words, decent prosody. Does it catch my attention and keep it throughout? Does it want me to listen again? To me, those are the more important things. A lot more general-public listeners buy music than songwriters do. So, that's who I try to write/perform for..

I hope that helps, at least a little bit. As I said, I'm not a nit-picker type of listener. I just want to be entertained. And, for me, you punched all those buttons. I enjoyed it!

Best to you. Be safe ...

Alan

#1165740 - 06/22/20 09:41 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Thanks singer x2,

They are rhetorical.questions, they were stringed to a different thread so I guess the inside story or back story was omiited here

This is not one id consider a strong "song" but an enjoyable track to listen to.

On a song like this you don't get many words to work with, like I told the other guy, if anyone wanted to try new lyrics to my melody, they would have a hard time.

Sometimes it's the sound of the words, using whole vowel rhymes, phrases that are meant to be sung and not resd.

It's pop. I think radio friendly

And I agree, different songs require different critiques, and are meant for different audiences and have different purposes.

Poncho and Lefty it is not....

But I had a decent sounding track to share,....


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/22/20 09:44 AM.
#1165766 - 06/22/20 08:09 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Way to get a "Born To Run" and "Thunder Road" reference in there. I really liked this alot. The singing and melody are super. Very catchy tune. I do love the signature guitar riff in the song, but I agree it may be a bit overdone. I also think it needs more effect to sit in the mix better. Maybe a bit lower on that riff with more reverb or echo. While the mix seems wet with reverb, that signature guitar seems a bit dry. For me, best of the tunes you have posted and not because it is a better quality recording. I think it is the best of the songs you have posted. It did strike me as giving off a bit of an 80's feel ... not The Cars, but maybe more pop oriented 80's groups. I can't think of the band I am thinking of. If it comes to me, I will mention it. Well done.

Dave

#1165986 - 06/28/20 03:27 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Thanks GM, didn't see your reply sitting there. Yeah, I think the riff was supposed to be more of a accompaniment than the main riff, since I did this I have ideas for a few different variations.

Was the band The Police? Every breath you take riff is similar.

I'm glad you like this, not sure this will make my album, whenever I get it done, but it's not a bad track.

Thanks for the ears and encouragement

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/28/20 03:29 PM.
#1165996 - 06/29/20 01:42 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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I like this, as well as the others. Love the melody and singing. The lyrics feel good to me.
If anything, the production....the mix.... could be more professional. Everything always gets better with more spit and shine.
Good luck with this........lots and lots to like here!!
-Tom

#1166010 - 06/29/20 10:52 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Fremetrio,
Yes to all questions. Totally hooked me in. I liked everything about it. I also get 9ne's "Cars" comparison (Drive).
You are good and have a really good voice too. I'm jealous.
Tom

#1166095 - 07/01/20 11:10 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Iron knee and Tom thanks, always nice to have good songwriters on the same page. Tom, your song you posted, nothing to be jealous over dude, sounds great!

#1166160 - 07/03/20 06:37 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Somehow I missed this post until now Fd. Sorry.

I liked the song. The intro and basic feel and guitar rhythm sounded Pretenders to me.
But then you shifted the melodic feel a couple of times, which I really enjoyed.

Nice tune.

Martin

#1166167 - 07/03/20 09:39 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Thanks Marty, yes absolutely hear what your saying about pretenders, I'm actually a fan so many great songs but didn't realize it in this until you mention it...sounds similar to" "don't get me wromg" there's is better, but I love her and her voice, time to break out some of their stuff.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P6u9C_SH3mQ

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/03/20 09:40 PM.
#1166175 - 07/03/20 11:35 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Fdemetrio,

NIce groove on this right out of the gateóvery engaging intro. Itís a very solid vocal as wellókinda 90ís alternative sound . . . Third Eye Blind comes to mind, but thatís not quite it. Best thing Iíve heard from you, no question. Iím not sure Iím following all the lyrics without seeing them . . . but it doesnít matter, and itís just another example of the fact that itís never just about the lyrics, but about the sound of the song as a whole. And everything comes together on this one . . . really well. Very nicely done!

Best regards,

Deej

#1166198 - 07/04/20 10:51 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Wow the boards must be coming back, this got buried fast since last night.

Thanks Dee, soon I'll be posting stuff where I'm not worried about the sound. And can post more frequently. I got some new recording stuff and will probably work with live musicians in fiverr.


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/04/20 10:52 AM.
#1166246 - 07/05/20 03:47 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Fd
The longish intro works well and welcomed you to stick around for a pleasant journey,which it turned out to be.
The vocal was good and in a nutshell a really decent sound
Regards
John


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