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#1165728 - 06/22/20 01:42 AM Another Day  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Northern Alabama

"ANOTHER DAY"


https://soundcloud.com/alananddi/another-day-v2


A song my wife and I wrote back in 2012. I guess you could call it Country-Pop.

As I've recently mentioned, and older forum members know, I'm not an exceptionally talented vocalist, so I'm already aware of that. My wife is a fabulous singer but she has very serious, life-threatening health issues that render her unable to sing ... at least for the foreseeable future.

The song has a somewhat unusual structure: only one verse with the pre-chorus and chorus sung twice. We're very happy with the way it unfolded as such. It's our opinion the one verse more than adequately supports the remainder of the lyric. In our opinion, a second verse would probably be redundant and simply add unnecessary length to the song.

Thanks in advance for any comments/thoughts.


Alan & Di


Another Day

(v1)
The sky went dark
The wind stood still
You left me in the shadow of
Another lover's call
You left me here, standing on the edge
But there's no place for me to fall

Pre-Chorus
What will I do, where will I go
How could I find another, when I love you so
Perhaps I never told you, I guess I thought you knew
I'd give my life, I'd give anything for you

CHORUS
Another day of dying without you
No sun no moon, no early morning dew
Another day, of forever turning blue
Without you, there ain't no way
I can go on another day

INSTRUMENTAL

Repeat Pre-Chorus

Repeat Chorus

(c) 2012 Alan D. David, BMI / Diana Bowers

#1165730 - 06/22/20 06:15 AM Re: Another Day [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,561
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,561
UK
Hi Alan and Di.
I like the way you put this song together musically in the verses.
However, I thought the chorus and instrumental would benefit from different chording/melody and busier drum pattern to give more of a lift there.

Just a thought, right or wrong.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1165738 - 06/22/20 09:08 AM Re: Another Day [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,707
Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Texas
Morning Al:

Enjoyed my listen... and I agree... it needs a female vocal... or combination here and there with some well-done harmonies. Most importantly, you told the story... and told it well. The guitar break is really nice and there was a time (back when producers and publishers "had ears for good music") it would have been ready to pitch... just as it is. You never know, someone who can give it that magic boost might hear it and point the song in the right direction. It's that good. I've always believed that the message was nearly as important as the melody... and should take precedent over the song structure... which is always important... but a distant third to melody and message. Naturally, in different genres or styles, the cards get shuffled a bit between the three.

Best of luck with this, my friend. Don't apologize for your vocal... it is just fine.

----Dave

#1165767 - 06/22/20 08:16 PM Re: Another Day [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Very pretty love song done up in a classic style. Nice job. Enjoyed it. If anything I could suggest, I thought the high gain solo guitar felt a little out of place in the song. Small nit though.

Dave

Dave

#1165780 - 06/23/20 01:10 AM Re: Another Day [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

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Joined: Feb 2001
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Northern Alabama
Originally Posted by Vicarn
Hi Alan and Di.
I like the way you put this song together musically in the verses.
However, I thought the chorus and instrumental would benefit from different chording/melody and busier drum pattern to give more of a lift there.

Just a thought, right or wrong.

Vic


Hi Vic ...

Thanks for the time to listen and comment. Glad you liked it overall. The chorus does go to a different chord pattern, but I agree that more dynamics in the other aspects of the chorus might render a better contrast. I'll look into that. Thanks again for the comments and suggestions. Much appreciated! best to you ...

Alan

#1165781 - 06/23/20 01:20 AM Re: Another Day [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Northern Alabama
Originally Posted by GocartMoz
Very pretty love song done up in a classic style. Nice job. Enjoyed it. If anything I could suggest, I thought the high gain solo guitar felt a little out of place in the song. Small nit though.

Dave

Dave



H.
Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Morning Al:

Enjoyed my listen... and I agree... it needs a female vocal... or combination here and there with some well-done harmonies. Most importantly, you told the story... and told it well. The guitar break is really nice and there was a time (back when producers and publishers "had ears for good music") it would have been ready to pitch... just as it is. You never know, someone who can give it that magic boost might hear it and point the song in the right direction. It's that good. I've always believed that the message was nearly as important as the melody... and should take precedent over the song structure... which is always important... but a distant third to melody and message. Naturally, in different genres or styles, the cards get shuffled a bit between the three.

Best of luck with this, my friend. Don't apologize for your vocal... it is just fine.

----Dave



Hey Dave ...

Always delighted when you drop in for a listen and leave a little encouragement and some worthy wisdom behind. I particularly agree with you about adding some vocal harmony in places. I can barely bark out a mediocre lead ... good harmony would be a stretch for me! But there's always someone, somewhere, with a solution.

I look at chord structure and arrangement as the foundation on which a house rests. As long as the foundation is sound, you can decorate around it as you see fit, as long as everything blends and mutually compliments. And yes, each genre has its own set of expectations and demands. Di and i write a lot of spec music, so mixing genres has become commonplace for us. It has certainly opened our eyes to the variances in music styles and we've learned a lot from it.

Again, many thanks for the visit! Wishing you the very best...

Alan

#1165782 - 06/23/20 01:24 AM Re: Another Day [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Northern Alabama
[
Originally Posted by GocartMoz
Very pretty love song done up in a classic style. Nice job. Enjoyed it. If anything I could suggest, I thought the high gain solo guitar felt a little out of place in the song. Small nit though.

Dave

Dave




Hello Dave ...

I remember you from my past life here at JPF. Back then, I was under the screen name of Al David.

Thank you for taking a little of your time to listen and comment. I do appreciate it very much. I did five or six takes for the lead guitar and settled on this one as it brought a new life and more power to the overall project. At least that's how it seems to me. But, I could always be wrong. Perhaps cutting back a little on the higher EQ would "tame' it a touch. I'll give that some serious thought ... thanks for the observation!

Wishing you the best ...

Alan

#1165953 - 06/27/20 04:05 PM Re: Another Day [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Alan,

Good to see and hear you here on JPF. We can use some more great folks contributing and keeping the place busy, so a big open-arms welcome back from me! You’ve gotten some great feedback and suggestions on the song, all of which are worth considering, and I’ve got nothing additional to add. Just wanted to stop in, say “Hello”, and let you know I enjoyed the listen.

Stay well, stay safe!

Deej

#1165969 - 06/27/20 09:36 PM Re: Another Day [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,473
Tom Franz Offline
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Tom Franz  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,473
Northern California
Sorry to hear about your wife's illness.
Beautifully structured song. Crazy one verse but I think it works.
Tom


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