Who's Online Now
27 registered members (couchgrouch, AntonyRobWells, Bobby Wayne, 9ne, Dave Rice, ckiphen, Brian Austin Whitney, Everett Adams, 4 invisible), and 297 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Posts: 210
Joined: December 2011
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
White Trash Diaper Rash (video)
by Martin Lide. 07/07/20 02:32 PM
For My Hero John Prine
by Travis david. 07/07/20 02:22 PM
Eternal Twilight
by Travis david. 07/07/20 02:18 PM
STAN'S SONG
by Travis david. 07/07/20 02:12 PM
You Shine
by Bobby Wayne. 07/07/20 01:27 PM
Said and Done
by Bobby Wayne. 07/07/20 01:12 PM
Anyone seen Mackie H. lately?
by Vicarn. 07/07/20 12:59 PM
I've Got Her Right Where She Wants Me
by couchgrouch. 07/07/20 11:04 AM
Moon in the sky
by ckiphen. 07/07/20 11:01 AM
Natural Melodies?
by Fdemetrio. 07/07/20 10:52 AM
URIAH KEENE( Rewrite 2)
by Travis david. 07/07/20 07:45 AM
Six Brown Brothers
by Calvin. 07/06/20 10:07 PM
Hi It's Glyn (glenda or glynda)
by Travis david. 07/06/20 01:58 PM
Prayer
by Tom Franz. 07/06/20 10:14 AM
Rose. Lyric update.
by Vicarn. 07/06/20 07:14 AM
SHOWCASE: LYRICS/SONGS/ESSAYS BY GARY E. ANDREWS
by Gary E. Andrews. 07/06/20 01:57 AM
Spread Your Wings & Fly
by Tom Franz. 07/05/20 09:12 PM
The Lord Your God
by Tom Franz. 07/05/20 09:08 PM
A Professional Guitarist Struggling With Injuries
by TransformsIntoAGuita. 07/05/20 12:43 PM
A Daydream Night
by Travis david. 07/05/20 03:47 AM
Watching From The Sidelines
by Travis david. 07/05/20 03:18 AM
She's Got a Good Heart
by Travis david. 07/05/20 03:08 AM
I'm in His Light P/W
by John W. Selleck. 07/05/20 01:20 AM
The Dedicated Few - In this time of need
by Roy Cooper. 07/04/20 11:43 PM
Brighter Day
by Songbird52. 07/04/20 09:02 PM
Harrisburg?
by summeoyo. 07/04/20 02:23 PM
World of illusion
by summeoyo. 07/04/20 01:48 PM
The Last Time I Saw Lonesome Dove
by couchgrouch. 07/04/20 10:55 AM
Latter Days
by Songbird52. 07/04/20 09:27 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,877
Kevin Emmrich 10,652
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,625
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,677
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,781
Dave Rice 7,707
Corey 7,357
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Vicarn 6,561
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,681
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,239
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,104
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,814
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,580
E Swartz 3,481
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,842
MidniteBob 2,712
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Fdemetrio 2,357
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Martin Lide 1,948
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
Deej56 1,298
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
Gerry 1,210
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,177
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,166
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
IronKnee 1,008
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 942
Jak Kelly 912
9ne 909
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 747
Andy K 746
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Irwin 666
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
Pat Hardy 637
quality 637
Moosesong 636
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 563
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
R&M 525
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
ckiphen 377
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1165775 - 06/22/20 08:56 PM Watching From The Sidelines  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Just kind of finished this one today. Still considering some backing vocals, but nothings coming to me. Appreciate any thoughts you may have on song. Hope everyone is staying safe.

WATCHING FROM THE SIDELINES

Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
(c)2020 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved
Produced, Arranged & Performed by David S. Becker

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/watching-from-the-sidelines

INTRO
VERSE 1

Iím watching from the sidelines
Every evening after five
Remote in hand, I click on play
My boy becomes alive

He scored the winning goal again
From 1,000 miles away
Iíve got this tape to capture time
I watch it every day

CHORUS
And Oh, Iím watching from the sidelines
I saw him ride, his very first bike
In a picture in the mail
And why, am I watching from the sidelines
A missed first step, his very first words
Are memories I canít
Share

SOLO
BRIDGE

I wasnít there when he was born
Donít see his face on Christmas morn
Or tuck him in most any night
Or teach him how to fly a kite
Thereís just a video
I watch when Iíve got time
To reminisce

VERSE 2
Watching from the sidelines
Iím stationed far away
Iíve made my choice to protect whatís right
In hopes of better days

I love my boy, I love my wife
There with me in my mind
I talk with them as I watch his tape
And peace will come in time

CHORUS

Last edited by GocartMoz; 06/22/20 09:03 PM.
#1165785 - 06/23/20 01:40 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Northern Alabama
Dave ...

Just started listening and I'm immediately blown away by the opposing guitars in the opening ... superb. Still listening ....

There are those guitars again from 1:33 to 2:06. Excellent choice!

A very topical song for the times ... something other than the virus stuff. As a disabled Vietnam Vet, I can put myself in your subject's psyche. yeah, I'm old - 73. I appreciate this song very much. Some say to never use your title in the verses, but I think there are many instances when it is not only okay to do so, but can also strengthen the message, particularly in such emotional songs. the only thing that I noticed ... it's really so insignificant in the bigger picture, I'm not sure i should even mention it ... but in a couple of places the words were a wee bit rushed. But ut certainly did not take away from my enjoyment of the song. And kudos on this mix! Really nice!

Best to you ...

Alan

#1165789 - 06/23/20 06:45 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 120
PaulCanuck Offline
Serious Contributor
PaulCanuck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 120
Hi David
This has an excellent hook/title and paints a good lyrical picture off what this guy is feeling.
I like the guitars as well and your vocal is strong as usual. One minor nit is the reference to watching a "tape". That kinda dates the song - maybe use "vid" instead?

Good job on this one!
Paul

#1165796 - 06/23/20 10:46 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 657
Steve Altonian Online content
Top 500 Poster
Steve Altonian  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 657
Los Angeles, California
With the TITLE I thought for sure it was a song about today's World situation & you would be watching everything : "Sitting on the sidelines"...

Heavy tune about making choices in life & missing out on your children growing up...

Though you went with a Soldier, this applies to so many choices...Good & bad...

Tough subject, but real life. Respect to those who "Sit on the sidelines" protecting our Country. They give up many family aspects that they can never get back...

Poignant tune, yet sad in so many ways as well...


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1165805 - 06/23/20 12:02 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,707
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,707
Texas
Another Dave Becker gem!

I agree with the comments before me... and yes, it is good enough to lead a viewer/listener into a thought provoking movie. It is good enough to be the title song for an album... and could "chart" as a single... exactly as it is. Thanks for sharing this one with us... and the guitar work is so impressive.

Best wishes for success if you decide to "pitch it."

----Dave

#1165816 - 06/23/20 04:18 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 64
Songbird52 Online content
Serious Contributor
Songbird52  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2020
Posts: 64
I like how we don't find out until the end why you're watching from the sidelines. It builds suspense and emotion.

The music is good and fits with the sad/emotional but patriotic theme.

#1165824 - 06/23/20 06:24 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,357
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,357
Terrific mood set and awesome guitar solo very dissonant like the subject.

Yeah there's a lot of ambivalence in the lyric, it could go alot of different ways. I mean ,watching from the sidelines can mean many different things.

I thought it could have been a domestic situation, the father is too busy or exhausted in his life to think that the kid needs attention.

In this case the singer is overseas. It works but I wonder if they listener is zoomed in. If they don't know all the lyrics they probably aren't anyway.

Very emotional and usually strong production and performance

#1165830 - 06/23/20 08:32 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,177
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,177
south of the mason,dixon line
really like the guitar work in this Dave, great story line, "what hurts the most...excellent music. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1165835 - 06/24/20 09:29 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,561
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,561
UK
Love the idea, sounds and mix, Dave.

I feel you could take out some of the "tape" references and "watching" lines as you already established you're watching a recording in the first verse.
Maybe say something like:

He scored the winning goal that day
From 1,000 miles away
I see it all unfolding
time and time again

BRIDGE
I wasnít there when he was born
Donít see his face on Christmas morn
Or tuck him in most any night
Or teach him how to fly a kite
Thereís just these moments
I relive when Iíve got time
To reminisce

I love my boy, I love my wife
There with me in my mind
I talk with them and dream along
that peace will come in time

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1165854 - 06/24/20 05:40 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,134
Gavin Sinclair Offline
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,134
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Another winner, Dave. Something a bit different because you usually make us laugh, but folks who can do that well can usually make us cry too.
Like everyone else, I love the guitar.
I would dump the word tape and replace it with video. You'd think replacing a 1 syllable word with 3 syllables might be problematic, but it's not.
I see what Vic is saying, but I'm not sure I agree. The image of him sitting there watching the video again and again is what makes it so poignant, at least in my view.

I didn't make the military association until the word "stationed." If you wanted to make this clearer earlier, you might be able to do so by changing "Remote in hand, I click on play" to something like "Take off my helmet, click on play" or "Alone in the barracks, I click on play" or something. Just thinking out loud here.

#1165870 - 06/25/20 09:22 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Two Singers
Dave ...

Just started listening and I'm immediately blown away by the opposing guitars in the opening ... superb. Still listening ....

There are those guitars again from 1:33 to 2:06. Excellent choice!

A very topical song for the times ... something other than the virus stuff. As a disabled Vietnam Vet, I can put myself in your subject's psyche. yeah, I'm old - 73. I appreciate this song very much. Some say to never use your title in the verses, but I think there are many instances when it is not only okay to do so, but can also strengthen the message, particularly in such emotional songs. the only thing that I noticed ... it's really so insignificant in the bigger picture, I'm not sure i should even mention it ... but in a couple of places the words were a wee bit rushed. But ut certainly did not take away from my enjoyment of the song. And kudos on this mix! Really nice!

Best to you ...

Alan



Alan,

Thx much for the listen and comments. It is greatly appreciated.

#1165871 - 06/25/20 09:26 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida


Originally Posted by PaulCanuck
Hi David
This has an excellent hook/title and paints a good lyrical picture off what this guy is feeling.
I like the guitars as well and your vocal is strong as usual. One minor nit is the reference to watching a "tape". That kinda dates the song - maybe use "vid" instead?

Good job on this one!
Paul


Hey Paul,

Thx for giving this a spin. I thought about the "tape" issue as I was writing. It clearly dates it, but nothing else was coming to me. Other people have Id'd the same issue. I need to think about this one. Some good ideas. There is another internal inconsistency in the lyric (to my mind) that bothers me, but since it hasn't been commented on yet, I may let it go. We shall see. Thx again.

Dave

#1165872 - 06/25/20 09:27 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Steve Altonian]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Steve Altonian
With the TITLE I thought for sure it was a song about today's World situation & you would be watching everything : "Sitting on the sidelines"...

Heavy tune about making choices in life & missing out on your children growing up...

Though you went with a Soldier, this applies to so many choices...Good & bad...

Tough subject, but real life. Respect to those who "Sit on the sidelines" protecting our Country. They give up many family aspects that they can never get back...

Poignant tune, yet sad in so many ways as well...



Thx much for the listen Steve. It is always appreciated.

Dave

#1165873 - 06/25/20 09:28 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Another Dave Becker gem!

I agree with the comments before me... and yes, it is good enough to lead a viewer/listener into a thought provoking movie. It is good enough to be the title song for an album... and could "chart" as a single... exactly as it is. Thanks for sharing this one with us... and the guitar work is so impressive.

Best wishes for success if you decide to "pitch it."

----Dave


Thx as always Dave. Appreciated your input and glad you liked.

Dave

#1165875 - 06/25/20 09:32 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Songbird52]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Songbird52
I like how we don't find out until the end why you're watching from the sidelines. It builds suspense and emotion.

The music is good and fits with the sad/emotional but patriotic theme.


Thank you Songbird. Appreciate your comments. Truth be told, I didn't find out until the end why he was" watching from the sidelines" either. I had a lot of theories in my head as I was writing the tune. Divorce, Prison Ö. military didn't hit me until later. Ha Ha. I wanted to write a song about not being in your kids lives (not autobiographical) and this angle became a last minute idea. I was literally at the end, when I wanted to disclose the "Why" before it came to me.

Dave.

Last edited by GocartMoz; 06/26/20 09:53 AM.
#1165955 - 06/27/20 04:06 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Dave,

Alan nailed it with regard to those guitars in the opening, and later on. A sad tune, but wonderful delivered, performed and sung. I, too, like that youíve saved the ďwhyĒ until the end. It keeps the listener, or at least me, engaged, wanting to understand more. Love the addition of that acoustic rhythm guitar in the bridgeóvery nice. I agree you can probably drop that last reference to ďthe tapeĒ in the last verse. But itís also fine as is.

Great work, Dave. Among your best, no doubt.

All my best,

Deej

#1165968 - 06/27/20 09:28 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,473
Tom Franz Offline
Top 200 Poster
Tom Franz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,473
Northern California
Wow David very emotional song, and beautifully recorded.
Bridge is awesome.
Tom

#1166134 - 07/03/20 10:02 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Terrific mood set and awesome guitar solo very dissonant like the subject.

Yeah there's a lot of ambivalence in the lyric, it could go alot of different ways. I mean ,watching from the sidelines can mean many different things.

I thought it could have been a domestic situation, the father is too busy or exhausted in his life to think that the kid needs attention.

In this case the singer is overseas. It works but I wonder if they listener is zoomed in. If they don't know all the lyrics they probably aren't anyway.

Very emotional and usually strong production and performance


Thx much for the comments. They are always appreciated.

Dave

#1166135 - 07/03/20 10:03 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by lane1777
really like the guitar work in this Dave, great story line, "what hurts the most...excellent music. Lane


Thx much Lane. Always appreciate the listen and comments..

Dave

#1166136 - 07/03/20 10:05 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Vicarn
Love the idea, sounds and mix, Dave.

I feel you could take out some of the "tape" references and "watching" lines as you already established you're watching a recording in the first verse.
Maybe say something like:

He scored the winning goal that day
From 1,000 miles away
I see it all unfolding
time and time again

BRIDGE
I wasn’t there when he was born
Don’t see his face on Christmas morn
Or tuck him in most any night
Or teach him how to fly a kite
There’s just these moments
I relive when I’ve got time
To reminisce

I love my boy, I love my wife
There with me in my mind
I talk with them and dream along
that peace will come in time

Vic


Excellent suggestions Vic. I am going to try to address some harmonies and backing vocals this weekend. Will consider your suggestion, as well. Always appreciate your thoughts.

Dave

#1166137 - 07/03/20 10:07 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Another winner, Dave. Something a bit different because you usually make us laugh, but folks who can do that well can usually make us cry too.
Like everyone else, I love the guitar.
I would dump the word tape and replace it with video. You'd think replacing a 1 syllable word with 3 syllables might be problematic, but it's not.
I see what Vic is saying, but I'm not sure I agree. The image of him sitting there watching the video again and again is what makes it so poignant, at least in my view.

I didn't make the military association until the word "stationed." If you wanted to make this clearer earlier, you might be able to do so by changing "Remote in hand, I click on play" to something like "Take off my helmet, click on play" or "Alone in the barracks, I click on play" or something. Just thinking out loud here.


Thx much Gavin. Good suggestion on "video". I will give this some thought over the weekend for sure. Always appreciate the input.

Dave

#1166138 - 07/03/20 10:08 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Deej56
Dave,

Alan nailed it with regard to those guitars in the opening, and later on. A sad tune, but wonderful delivered, performed and sung. I, too, like that you’ve saved the “why” until the end. It keeps the listener, or at least me, engaged, wanting to understand more. Love the addition of that acoustic rhythm guitar in the bridge—very nice. I agree you can probably drop that last reference to “the tape” in the last verse. But it’s also fine as is.

Great work, Dave. Among your best, no doubt.

All my best,

Deej


Thx much for the input Deej Ö Always appreciated.

Dave

#1166139 - 07/03/20 10:08 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: Tom Franz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Tom Franz
Wow David very emotional song, and beautifully recorded.
Bridge is awesome.
Tom


Thx much Tom. Always appreciate the input.

Dave

#1166157 - 07/03/20 06:26 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,948
Martin Lide Online content
Top 200 Poster
Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,948
Houston, Texas
Liked it Dave.

One negative to my ear was what I thought was the over usage of "from the sidelines." I heard that so many times that the song seemed to lack a climactic moment for me.

Last edited by Martin Lide; 07/03/20 06:26 PM.
#1166233 - 07/04/20 11:15 PM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,890
John W. Selleck Online content
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,890
NJ
Hi David,
Very well written and performed. There are so many unsung heroes out there who give up so much and aren't appreciated by many, Thanks for giving them a voice.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost

http://www.soundclick.com/johnsings
http://www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
http://www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
#1166244 - 07/05/20 03:18 AM Re: Watching From The Sidelines [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,877
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,877
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Dave
Great idea, imagery and all round song, sad in many ways and poignant
Best of luck with it
Jihn


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
Cloudrider, Autumn22, Scott_Smith, MusicLand, TerryM
21278 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics120,516
Posts1,133,868
Members21,278
Average Posts Daily41
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"Defeatist Pessimists and Rose Colored Glasses Optimists are lonely companions, victims even. Both ideologies imply predestined outcomes, and therefore breed inactivity in its victims. Inaction is the only sure way to lose at anything in life. All positive action guarantees at least a fighting chance." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Joy Davis (2020), MerBoel (2020)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0