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#1164635 - 05/25/20 12:49 AM Your Last Goodbye  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,104
TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,104
New Hampshire
I found a site with free video clips and made my first video, it isn't perfect, but it is the closest I've come to something that looks like it should be on Youtube. I wrote this song in FAWM and played it on my Takamine nylon string and recorded it on my Tascam.


YOUR LAST GOODBYE ON YOUTUBE:


Your Last Goodbye
by Tammy Jann
© 2020

When you're lost
I'm a substitute for your pain
and the umbrella in your rain
it's not love, it's not the same

You are torn
I'm the bandaid to ease the hurt
and the salve so you dont' feel worse
I'm not the one that you loved first


Chorus
I'm a friend 'til the end
I'll help you and then
you'll go and you know
I made it clear
this was my fear
since that first hello
I knew you'd make me cry
with your last goodbye


You are stuck
I cheerlead you to a better place
I set the rhythm for your pace
I'm not the dream that you chase


You'll move on
despite me you'll find someone
played your game but never won
I'm here until you say you're done


Chorus
I'm a friend 'til the end
I'll help you and then
you'll go and you know
I made it clear
this was my fear
since that first hello
I knew you'd make me cry
with your last goodbye


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#1164636 - 05/25/20 01:36 AM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 662
Steve Altonian Online content
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Steve Altonian  Online Content
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 662
Los Angeles, California
Originally Posted by TamsNumber4
I found a site with free video clips and made my first video, it isn't perfect, but it is the closest I've come to something that looks like it should be on Youtube. I wrote this song in FAWM and played it on my Takamine nylon string and recorded it on my Tascam.


YOUR LAST GOODBYE ON YOUTUBE:


Your Last Goodbye
by Tammy Jann
© 2020


Chorus

this was my fear
since that first hello
I knew you'd make me cry
with your last goodbye



The last half of your CHORUS is a magnificent hauntingly written piece. You cannot write a more perfect 4 lines that fit so well together.

Absolutely brilliant...


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1164637 - 05/25/20 03:46 AM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,881
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,881
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Beautiful Tammy!
Excellent lyric and vocal, in fact faultless
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1164648 - 05/25/20 12:27 PM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Beautiful song Tammy/ I think your best. Magnificent vocal as usual and a great lyric. Mighty fine playing, as well.

Dave

#1164661 - 05/25/20 04:32 PM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 120
PaulCanuck Offline
Serious Contributor
PaulCanuck  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 120
Hi Tammy

Great vocals as other have said and the acoustic sounds good too.
I found it a bit too long for just vox/guitar and the video didn't really add anything IMHO.
As a listener I wanted to feel like you are singing to me, and the video took me out of that mood frown
I think if it were cut down to 3 mins and change, and had some orchestration to help build it, it could be stunning.

cheers
Paul

#1164684 - 05/26/20 05:04 PM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,177
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,177
south of the mason,dixon line
Hi Tam, hope all is good in your world, just thought `i`d stop and have a look.
you are a super writer, and your vocals make this exceptional..love the track. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1164696 - 05/26/20 08:38 PM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Tams,

Beautiful vocal and a really strong write. A pretty, sad song of heartbreak. Terrific offering . . . and nice work on the video a well. It all sounds good to me, so no suggestions to offer. Great work!

All my best,

Deej

#1164937 - 06/02/20 10:51 PM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,104
TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,104
New Hampshire
Steve,

Thanks for listening, I really appreciate your comments!!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#1164943 - 06/03/20 05:19 AM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,565
Vicarn Offline
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Vicarn  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,565
UK
Sweet song, Tammy.
You get better and better.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1164991 - 06/04/20 12:58 PM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,842
Nigel Quin Offline
Nigel Quin  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,842
Birmingham, UK
Hi Tam

First of all, I really enjoyed this and I love your voice. Youíve taken a nice idea and there is a real poignancy in the verses. On initial listen the first two lines chorus seems a little busy to me, but after couple more listens, with a bit of juggling you could have a really cool inner-rhyme scheme going. I wondering if it was worth considering inserting something like Ďmendí to keep the inner rhyme and rhythm going:

I'm a friend 'til the end
I'll help you mend, and then you'll go


Also, I think the chorus needs to unfold a little differently leading into the title line, considering itís the payoff as such, it doesnít quite sit as well as I would like. Hope this makes sense. These are smallish nits on a very nice sounding song.

Nigel

#1165009 - 06/05/20 08:56 AM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,710
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,710
Texas
Morning, Tammy:

This is a stunning song... performed with that element of anticipated heartbreak... how could we not relate to it... and love it's painful message. The video worked... but I'm more into the ability of the song and it's entire package... to capture the ear of the listener. You captured it perfectly. Wish I knew someone with brains and influence in the biz... to get this in front of a big-name artist for a song so good it's ready to "chart" in it's present form. Your vocals continue to get better and better... and your writing will lead you somewhere big... someday soon.

All my best, ----Dave

#1165055 - 06/06/20 10:25 AM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,167
summeoyo Offline
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summeoyo  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,167
Harrisburg, PA, USA
So-oo-oo Adelesque. Love it.

Summeoyo

#1165419 - 06/14/20 11:57 PM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,008
IronKnee Offline
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IronKnee  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,008
Hawaii
Really beautiful Tammy............a very soulful atmosphere, jazzy and warm. Would love to hear this live at some night club.....Boy, I fear those are things of the past. Oh well, this song and a cozy fire place will have to suffice.
Beautiful,
-Tom

#1165607 - 06/20/20 12:51 AM Re: Your Last Goodbye [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,633
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,633
Northern Alabama
Hi Tammy ...

I've been away from the site for so long ... just came back see what's happening and post one.

I've always thought you were a terrific singer. It's so nice to hear your beautiful voice again! You sound magnificent on this! Love the arrangement and the lyric is hauntingly captivating. This is so good in so many ways ... totally loved it! Excellent performance. be safe ...

Alan


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