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#1164596 05/23/20 08:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
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Somehow a Covid Inspiration got merged with a Phobia inspiration. Together they make a fine mess. Thanks for your time and thoughts.

Phobamania
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
Performed, Produced & Arranged by David S. Becker
(c)2020 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/phobomania

Verse 1
Inside these walls are creeping in
I can’t tell what day comes next
I’ve got to charge my phone again
Or I’ll miss another text
I haven’t seen a human being
And my T.V’s on the blink
The wireless crapped out again
And my house it friggin’ stinks
My daddy always told me
Son to go with the flow
But daddy wasn’t couped up
In this made of wood fish bowl
My hair is long and stringy
And my butt it needs supplies
The stench it is quite ghastly
I doubt you’ll sympathize

Pre-Chorus
I’m Autophobic, Nosophobic, Thanatophobic, Phobaphobic
Someone call a shrink before I freak
I’m plagued with hypochondria
A bit of Pathophobia
My brain could really use a giant tweak

Chorus
It’s Phobamania night and day
The droplets are flying free
Just stay your distance and walk away
I’m scared of you scaring me

Verse 2
I can’t go see a movie
Since the Rona’s back in town
I’m tired of these scrambled eggs
But the Greasy Spoon’s shut down
I’ll disinfect and disinfect
And disinfect some more
I’ll disinfect ’til the cows come home
The Rona’s at my door
I’m terrified of everything
From Fox to NBC
Disney is the devil’s spawn
The mouse’s soul ain’t free
I’m scared of having parties
I’m scared I’m all alone
I’m scared of every breath you take
Within a 6 foot zone

Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Solo
Chorus

Last edited by GocartMoz; 05/24/20 08:08 AM.
GocartMoz #1164597 05/24/20 12:43 AM
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Love your guitar! Unfortunately there's little melody and no hooks to support it. frown
-Mike



GocartMoz #1164598 05/24/20 01:08 AM
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Can't assume he's going for a hit record here 9e.

Gm,
It sounds like a rap...ish, rock thing, I think your vocal style makes the verses not work, right. But I hear what the intent is. Some of the melody in the rap part is off pitch. And some of the word choices don't lend itself to that style.

It's a genre bender, funk, rap, rock, hard to make all the elements work.

But make no mistake, this is a talented guy. Sounds great as usual

GocartMoz #1164601 05/24/20 12:05 PM
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I like this a lot. Really clever lyrics. It takes a particular kind of talent to write a song that is basically one long complaint and make the listener smile rather than think you're whiny. I think the melody suits it, although the chorus maybe starts off a bit flat. I think something as simple as putting the stress on the first word "It's" instead of "Pho-" might help a little with that.

GocartMoz #1164606 05/24/20 04:30 PM
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Hi Dave
Lyrics are great. Funny too.
I'm wondering if the arrangement and vocal style may be a little too complicated and distract from the lyric a little.
Maybe simplify instrumentals and vocal so you are almost but not quite speaking it. Not sure.
Clever piece of writing though.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

GocartMoz #1164629 05/25/20 12:22 AM
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Dave,

What a fun write and how relatable!! Love the phobias you added in. I like the melody, I wonder if the vocal should be turned down a touch, it seemed a bit loud, but I have the worst for speakers....I really enjoyed it and it put a smile on my face!!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




GocartMoz #1164651 05/25/20 12:47 PM
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Typical GOCARTMOZ

Love the lyrics, the rhyme scheme & delivery. This is your style all day long my friend & no one, no one, can do what you do my friend..

Keep bringing your music to the world...


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
GocartMoz #1164660 05/25/20 04:22 PM
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Hi Dave
Nice little rocker - totally suited to the times.
Funny I've been working on a lyric called "Everyone's a Germaphobe" grin
Love the guitar licks in the intro and the lyrics though I thought the chorus could have been simpler and more memorable lyrics-wise.
But it's a tiny nit on a quality song grin

Hope you washed your hands after you played this one.

Paul

GocartMoz #1164695 05/26/20 08:38 PM
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Dave,

I agree it’s a terrific write, and disagree about it not having sufficient melody . . . I think there’s enough distinction in the prosody and rhythm between the verse, pre-chorus and chorus to carry the song along. And, of course, those lyrics keep the listener’s interest and help carry the song. Like the harmonic guitar solos. If there was one additional suggestion I would have it would be to add some backing vocals to the chorus, particularly on that first line . . . and the ending is a bit too quick for me.

But subjective nits aside, this is good stuff, Dave. Excellent work!

Hope all is well in your world,

Deej

GocartMoz #1165418 06/14/20 11:47 PM
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Hey there Dave..........pay no mind to the doubters. This is a clever and fun listen.
I've listened to everyone's music from all over the boards, and this is as good as any of the good. But I don't think you need to hear this from me. I'm sure, by now, you get it.....everyone has an opinion ;-)
Really good stuff......
-Tom


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