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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Just a bit of silliness. Click here to listen at SoundCloudTO TINA ON THE OCCASION OF HER NEW BREASTS(Words & Music by Gavin Sinclair) Tina, Tina, I've never seen a Finer pair of paps than those With the jubilant exuberance of newfound protuberance Pouting through your clothes Grown from Nature's small creations Thanks to Mankind's skill and patience Behold the ripened fruit that burgeons And thank the Lord, who gave us surgeons But though some may treasure a taught tape measure Or delight in a blouse that is tight And a cup that runneth over is, I know, for Many a sumptuous sight Your fabric stretching pursuit of perfection Is your business, not mine But nature’s confection needed no correction To the original design Tina, Tina, I've never been a Man of strong sensibility But those inner tubes within your boobs Deprive them of all their mobility How I lament the the jaunty jiggle Bosom pal of buttocks' wiggle What folly their freedom so to fetter And still the dance within your sweater Self-esteem, fulfilling a dream, I suppose these are reasonable grounds For spending a few thousand dollars In exchange for a couple of pounds But if a man should clamor for mammary glamour Requiring a new top shelf Point to his chest and politely suggest He invest in one for himself
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Ha ha ha. How can anyone not enjoy that lyric. I love the spoken vocal that really sells it, with awesome background music. Totally enjoyed it. I think my favorite of yours I have heard. A couple of ideas that I think will make this a whole lot better than it already is(which is great). When I heard this I immediately thought of one of my favorite John Prine songs, that would make an excellent outline for an arrangement of this tune. If you havn't heard Lake Marie, give it a listen. I'll post a video below. What I love about that tune is the dynamics that flow from spoken verses to an an all out sing song chorus, which he opens with. I think this song needs a catchy sung chorus to build to. Second comment concerns the sax. Personal opinion, but I don't think it fits the tune. Just one guy's opinion. Love this nonetheless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te7x8s9P4U8
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Thanks Dave. I really appreciate your comments and suggestions. It's feedback like this that makes it worthwhile posting here.
I listened to the John Prine song and really enjoyed it. I'm not sure how well it would work here. He's using a conversational style in the spoken parts with no rhyme. He's basically just talking, and it works very well. This song is really a poem and part of the humor (I hope) is in the contrast between the pretentious highbrow literary style and the subject matter. In fact, the first verse, which I wrote years ago is consciously in the style of Robert Burns, without the 18th century Scots dialect.
The fact that it began as a poem made this difficult for me, because lyric and melody usually occur to me simultaneously. That's why the music is really just a background, atmospheric kind of thing. I take your point about the sax - I'm not sure about it either.
Again, thanks so much for taking the time to make such thoughtful suggestions.
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Only Gavin has the courage to say what many of us think!
I think you covered every base with this cleverly written and "spoken" performance. Yesterday, my wife was using the power of the TV "Clicker" to attempt to find something worth watching... and collided with that show about the two "plastic surgeons" out in California. There were two women waiting for the opinions of these Grand Enhancers... wanting even larger Boobs... and already, both were larger than most Guernseys. It was, to put it mildly, bordering on being gross. I cannot imagine what was already being used to support those melon-sized breasts. Are we so starved for attention that it has come to this?
Back to your creation, Gavin: You hit a home run with this one and I enjoyed my listen. I suspect you may get some "airplay" with this one. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave
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Thank you, Dave. On the advice of the other Dave (GocartMoz), I have gone back and taken out the sax and added a viola. I think it improves it immensely.
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I like breasts. I guess spoken word was the only way you could go with that structure. Listening to it it reminded of Pete Townsend vocal approach to "people stop hurting people". https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=srNy0e8kSsYHard to compete with Pete but, it's also hard to make a song out of this. Enjoyed the humor and rhymes. I like breasts
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Yes, Fdemetrio, it is hard to make a song out of this. It's too dense. It's a poem with musical backing. Less Pete Townsend than Mike Meyers in "So I Married an Axe Murderer" or the beat poets he's sending up. But with rhymes. Lots of rhymes. And it's not really that either because it's satirizing a completely different style of poetry. Like if someone had thrust a mic into the hand of Robert Burns or Wordsworth or Shelley in a Greenwich Village club in the 1960s. You know the kind of thing? No? Oh, I give up.
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What a wordsmith you are, Gavin. Intellectually humorous.
Vic
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What a wordsmith you are, Gavin. Intellectually humorous.
Vic Thanks Vic. Other people sing in the shower. I spend the time making up this kind of nonsense LOL.
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Definitely spoken word. BennyHillesque.
Summeoyo
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Definitely spoken word. BennyHillesque.
Summeoyo Not sure that I can imagine Benny Hill doing this LOL. Don't mind the comparison at all, though. Now I just need to add the sax bck in with a speeded up video at the end with some girls running around in their underwear. Well, maybe not
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Gavin,
Sorry it’s taken me a bit to comment on this song—been trying to carve out time to catch up. But I had listened to this a week or so ago and, well, it’s just a great, great write. There’s an element of silliness but really clever writing and brilliant use of rhyme to make this . . . sincere in a weird kind of way, if that makes sense, lol! Love how you delivered it. Very impressive write, Gavin. Enjoyed it!
All my best,
Deej
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Thanks for giving it a listen, Deej, and the kind words. You hit the nail on the head - sincerely silly... or silly sincerity LOL.
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Well Gavin. This is the first song I have commented on for a while.. That's what self isolation does sometimes..lol
I have to say that the lyrics are IMO amazing... (I am a lyrics only person myself).
I do wonder how it would sound if sung uptempo... for me Its talking with background music at the moment...as you yourself mentioned..
I don't think it would take a lot to turn it into a singing version but again I could be wrong lol.
Mind you Gavin, it would make a great video, just have to find the girl to act it..
God Bless
Roy
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As long as Tina is happy LOL
"And a cup that runneth over" had me chuckling away, well done Gavin a much needed piece of well written and spoken humour.
Best,
Gerry
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Well Gavin. This is the first song I have commented on for a while.. That's what self isolation does sometimes..lol
I have to say that the lyrics are IMO amazing... (I am a lyrics only person myself).
I do wonder how it would sound if sung uptempo... for me Its talking with background music at the moment...as you yourself mentioned..
I don't think it would take a lot to turn it into a singing version but again I could be wrong lol.
Mind you Gavin, it would make a great video, just have to find the girl to act it..
God Bless
Roy
Thanks for the kind words, Roy. Yes, it would be relatively easy to make a singing version, but I'm not sure it would be any good. It would lose the contrast between the silly lyric and the serious, dramatic delivery. Maybe I'll give it a go sometime. One approach might be a very fast tune so that all the rhymes come at you thick and fast. Really, though this is all about the lyric. You're the video guy LOL.
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Its not everyday that you hear a song that rhymes exuberance with protuberance I love it ! Great Song
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As long as Tina is happy LOL
"And a cup that runneth over" had me chuckling away, well done Gavin a much needed piece of well written and spoken humour.
Best,
Gerry Thank you Gerry. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, we do all need a bit of a laugh these days.
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A funny, tongue-in-cheek, tune. love the dictation....quite unexpected. An original!
"Mammory glamour" ;-) Kudos!! -Tom
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Being a breast man myself, unfortunately not able to get rid of them! I truly enjoyed this one Gavin we need a bit of fun and laughter at the moment. Thanks for helping out. Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Being a breast man myself, unfortunately not able to get rid of them! I truly enjoyed this one Gavin we need a bit of fun and laughter at the moment. Thanks for helping out. Regards John
Thanks John. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Gavin, I haven't been here in about 4 years except to thank everyone for thinking about me when I was very ill 3 years ago.
Anyway, I checked in on a whim and saw the title of your song, which was intriguing to say the least. I wasn't disappointed with the lyric or the understated performance. Bravo.
I had forgotten my password to reply and had to jump through a couple hoops to be able to reply but you deserved it.
Ya dun gooood.
Steve Biederman
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Gavin, I haven't been here in about 4 years except to thank everyone for thinking about me when I was very ill 3 years ago.
Anyway, I checked in on a whim and saw the title of your song, which was intriguing to say the least. I wasn't disappointed with the lyric or the understated performance. Bravo.
I had forgotten my password to reply and had to jump through a couple hoops to be able to reply but you deserved it.
Ya dun gooood.
Steve Biederman Glad you enjoyed it, neighbor. Yes, the title is a little unusual.
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Ha!! I just noticed your "signature", "I may or may not be an enigma."
I can relate, being the only person in North Carolina who is not unique.
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Awesome fun here Gavin. What keeps this from being perfect IMO is that in V1 you are all over it...you love what she's done...and thank the surgeons...but then starting with V2 you begin to question it...love the ending btw...
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Awesome fun here Gavin. What keeps this from being perfect IMO is that in V1 you are all over it...you love what she's done...and thank the surgeons...but then starting with V2 you begin to question it...love the ending btw... That's rather astute of you, John. Originally, I had an extra few lines after the first verse, as the speaker realizes that all is not right with what he sees. The music stops for a moment as he says: "But stop the song, there's something wrong To this observer's eyes My apology to technology, But there's more to beauty than size." Maybe I need to add that back in.
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Nowhere in my mammary can I recall such a lovely tribute delivered via song. Seriously...there is some excellent wit here Gavin
It was titillating to listen.
And with one song, you breathed new life into the #metoo movement. Therefore a song with societal ramifications.
Regards
Marty
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Marty, I am going to have to call the pun police on you LOL.
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