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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230 |
Hi Everyone,
This is one of the last songs by MZ Music/Piano/Lyrics by me The song is a little moody so I was reluctant to put this up.
BREAK OF DAWN
Verse
I toss and turn in bed Through the night Look out my window And see the city lights
Time stands still The darkness won’t disappear My mind recycles all My biggest fears
Prechorus
When the mourning doves call They make no sense at all Though I’ve been through this before
Chorus
Until the break of dawn The night goes on and on Another sleepless night Watching the hours go by
Until the break of dawn The night goes on and on The light is hiding behind Another sleepless night
I see a dreary room As I lay and contemplate My eyes start to weep While I plan my escape
Wish I could float away To somewhere bright and clear Where the clouds will lift And the sun heads my way
Repeat prechorus
Repeat chorus
Melody change
I step out the door And hold my breath Need to push away All my regrets And face the day…..
Repeat Chorus
Copyright Jane Karwoski 2019
Last edited by JaneK; 04/17/20 01:46 PM.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831 |
Hi Jane:
Really enjoyed my listen. Your vocal (that was you, wasn't it?) was perfect for the song. Nothing wrong with moody... life is not all sublime happiness... LOL! A writer must write what she or he feels compelled to write... and this one is a gem. I hope it opens doors for you.
Then there is Mike Z. I already miss his informative and sometimes argumentative (not without cause) posts. Most of all, I miss having that resource to give me a different perspective or arrangement (within bounds) of one of my songs. All in all, I think he did 14 demos of my already recorded songs... and often, I thought he improved upon them significantly. He is a very special and talented individual and his knowledge of songs, artists and writers is amazing.
I'm looking forward to hearing more of your work... and as always, wishing you happiness and success.
Stay safe, happy and well. Thanks for posting.
----Dave
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,262 Likes: 19
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,262 Likes: 19 |
Thoroughly enjoyable........I'm glad you posted this. The lyrics are good, and fit the melody just right. Good stuff, -Tom
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230 |
Tom,
Thanks for the listen and comments - I really appreciate it.
Hi Dave,
Thanks for listening - I appreciate it.
As far as Mike Z, I miss his demo making and this has pretty much but me out of business so to speak. His work on my vocals gave me the confidence to carry on but now I feel terrible about my abilities.
I lack the production skills that he and others here on the forum have so that leaves me out.
I most likely will through in the towel.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831 |
Jane:
Confidence is much like attempting a vertical climb up the face of a mountain with no safety line. It is gained slowly and with much effort. I urge you to continue your struggle. Sure, there is so much competition and the odds are so great... but your thoughts, voice and ideas are free and you don't have to post every song. Only "roll out" the ones you believe are worthy of "bruising the listener's ears"... and thoughts. You have already crossed the barrier so don't hide your talents under a bushel basket.
Always think of a song and lyric as a living thing. Few are perfect and most require a touch of different phrasing here and there, a slight change in the melody... or a complete re-write. I never perform but if I don't post my recordings and vocals... nobody will do it for me. I have become sort of a "fisherman" using my demo songs as bait... and hoping somebody famous will "bite" and do a "cover."
You can do this. You already have!
All my best wishes, ----Dave
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Jane,
What a nice listen! I loved the melody and your voice perfect for this song. Glad you and Mike connected. Well done!
steady-eddie
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 238 Likes: 11
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 238 Likes: 11 |
Well written and well done!
You wrote "I most likely will through in the towel."
Continue writing songs. Write as many songs as you want. Some will be better than others. It's part of the game.
Have fun!
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
Jane this is a beautiful song. Excellent vocal really good lyric and an all round gem!. Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
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Posts: 230 |
Thanks again Dave, Tom, Eddie, Guy and John for the comments and encouragement.
I actually am not going to "throw in the towel" on songwriting (poor choice of words). I'm leaving JP folks with quite a few finished songs I can play for myself from Mike Z.
I'm not going to participate in the site any longer - I will keep doing music for myself and have decided I am going to try SongU and also Songtown to learn more about the craft and hopefully find some collaborators to help me. Just for fun - I am not aiming for fame or fortune - just being the best songwriter/musician I am capable of being.
Sorry to go off topic here on the MP3 forum but I what to thank you all again who have been so kind to me when you didn't have to be and I wish you much success with your songwriting endeavors.
Jane
Last edited by JaneK; 04/14/20 05:37 PM.
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
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Jane,
I really enjoyed this. Production can't make a bad song good in my opinion.It can make a good song better. Don't stop writing because of a lack of production skills. Keep on writing. This is a gem. I enjoyed it.
I kind of come on as time allows, but I am afraid I missed Mike not being here. I hope he is ok and nothing happened. He was such an asset to these forums. Thx for posting your tune. Enjoyed it.
Dave
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,280
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Posts: 1,280 |
Just lovely and production skills come with practice and time so don't be disheartened. It really is a lovely song.
Stay Safe,
Gerry
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
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Posts: 230 |
Hi Dave and Gerry,
Thank you for listening and the encouragement. I really appreciate it.
Stay safe both of you.
Jane
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
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Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
Hi Jane What a great song this is - love how the prechorus builds up to the chorus. Super vocals and keyboards. Needs an electric guitar for some bite! Solid lyrics though there were a few spots they seemed rushed. Enjoyed the listen! Paul
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
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Posts: 230 |
Hi Paul,
Thanks for the nice comments - yes I agree an electric guitar would make the song "rock" more and I think I sung it a little too fast in parts (I am still working on how to sing my lyrics).
So glad you stopped by for a listen.
Stay safe Jane
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Jane,
Sorry I somewhat missed this one. I say “somewhat” because though the link is down now, I did have.a chance to listen to some of it a few days back (but didn’t have time yet to post). From memory, I really liked what was done here--wish I could hear it again. But you’ve gotten some great feedback above, so I’ll have to settle with looking forward and hearing the next iteration. Hope it’s soon.
All my best,
Deej
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