Who's Online Now
25 registered members (Fdemetrio, Dave Rice, CTthomas, Deej56, ckiphen, couchgrouch, Andy K, 9ne, Everett Adams, 3 invisible), and 359 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
buddyivory
buddyivory
Jessup
Posts: 26
Joined: December 2008
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Because I Dream (ckiphen/Deej Collaboration)
by Fdemetrio. 05/26/20 10:50 PM
Out of the ashes (CHORUS only done)
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:53 PM
Whatever 'These Days' Means These Days
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:52 PM
All By Myself
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:48 PM
IF ONLY. (DEEJ & TRAVIS COLLAB)
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:47 PM
Your Last Goodbye
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:38 PM
Phobamania
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:38 PM
Just a Dog
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:37 PM
I Confess. Vic
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:36 PM
The High and the Holy
by Gavin Sinclair. 05/26/20 07:33 PM
Can't drink her off my mind
by ckiphen. 05/26/20 04:53 PM
Brass Monkeys
by Gerry. 05/26/20 03:24 PM
Produced a Clip for Fiji Broadcasting
by Dave Rice. 05/26/20 11:49 AM
Covid-19 Inspired Song
by Nigel Quin. 05/26/20 11:14 AM
SOCAN surprise
by Everett Adams. 05/26/20 06:28 AM
Single Song Agreement
by Everett Adams. 05/26/20 06:25 AM
WINTER NIGHT. Rewrite 3
by Moosesong. 05/25/20 09:17 PM
Wisdom's Jungle 1
by Moosesong. 05/25/20 08:56 PM
Rainy Weather.by-Ingvar Tautra & M. F. Blowers
by MFB III. 05/25/20 04:49 PM
In this age of thorns and shadows...
by John Voorpostel. 05/25/20 03:57 PM
Heavy Cross to Bear
by couchgrouch. 05/25/20 02:46 PM
Odd Noggin
by Gary E. Andrews. 05/25/20 01:57 PM
When Can I Kiss You Again
by TamsNumber4. 05/25/20 12:32 AM
Blood On The River
by TamsNumber4. 05/25/20 12:05 AM
Royalties and the PRO's...
by Dave Rice. 05/24/20 07:35 PM
Touch
by couchgrouch. 05/24/20 02:34 PM
SHOWCASE: LYRICS/SONGS BY GARY E. ANDREWS
by Gary E. Andrews. 05/24/20 11:39 AM
The Walk of Time
by couchgrouch. 05/23/20 06:33 PM
To Tina On The Occasion Of Her New Breasts
by Gavin Sinclair. 05/23/20 05:45 PM
BLUE STORM RISING-IDES OF MARCH
by Nigel Quin. 05/23/20 02:09 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,816
Travis david 11,794
Kevin Emmrich 10,645
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,600
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,675
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,737
Dave Rice 7,612
Corey 7,357
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Vicarn 6,416
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,677
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,220
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,099
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,921
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,814
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,580
E Swartz 3,481
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,818
MidniteBob 2,708
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
Fdemetrio 2,169
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,983
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Martin Lide 1,854
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
GocartMoz 1,520
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,471
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Deej56 1,245
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
Gerry 1,185
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
lane1777 1,156
summeoyo 1,146
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
IronKnee 985
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 916
Jak Kelly 912
9ne 901
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 747
Andy K 746
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Irwin 659
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
Pat Hardy 637
quality 637
Moosesong 634
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 562
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
R&M 514
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1162150 - 03/11/20 12:15 AM A Burning Sun  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Hi, all:

In the past year or so, I've collaborated on a few songs with Christian Devienne, who resides in France and who I think puts together some terrific music . . . but this is the first time I'm posting one of our collaborations here on JPF. It's actually the fifth song I've done with Christian, but only the second where I've written the lyrics to accompany his composition.

Christian creates a lot of wonderful blues and jazz flavored tunes, as well as an assortment of ballads . . . but looking to take a vacation from ballads, I had asked him to send me something a bit more upbeat. He sent me the music to this tune, and I penned the lyrics and tried my best to sing it true. I thought it was worth sharing here, and I hope you enjoy it. As always, your comments and suggestions are much appreciated.

My best to you all,

Deej

Here's the song:

A BURNING SUN

And here are the lyrics:

Devil shadow on the ground:
Used to be I used to own this town,
broke every heart that love would dare my way.
Cruised through endless loverís arms
with a wild smile and cool, cool charmó
They knew it but they loved me all the same.

Then she walked in with those supple hips,
fire blue eyes and red hot lipsó
Lord, that woman scorched my very tongue.
She lit me up like rocket fuel,
then left me here a melted fool,
boiled down to the nothing and no one . . .
In a burning sun.

Itís funny how the things you do,
in the end, they fall back on youó
I see it now, but still it donít seem fair.
I tried to put things back the way they were,
find a cooler place from a still hot her,
but next to her no other love compares.

So I drown all sense of what it means
in tequila shots and Jimmy Beamó
anything to keep me feeling numb.
In the midst of all this misery,
Iím not the man I used to be,
stuck here growing old and dying young . . .
in a burning sun.

(Cool, boy . . . get a grip,
walk it back . . . get over this;
cool, boy . . . make it right,
grab some shade . . . get her gone tonight.)


But it donít matter how hard I try,
I canít get that girl out of my mind.
Devil woman, tell me what youíve done!
Iíve lost the power to erase
the memory of her temptress faceó
a vision in my head I canít outrun . . .
itís a burning sun.
Yeah, sheís a burning sun.

(c)2020 Christian Devienne/DJ Lekich

#1162156 - 03/11/20 10:33 AM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,794
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,794
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Dave and Christian
Initially I was dazzled by the sun on the link, a good start!. I really enjoyed this one and noticed its in the Rock category which is interesting as I also could imagine Waylon Jennings doing this one, even though you have a dislike fir country Dave.
Great sound, I hope it shines further for you two
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1162167 - 03/11/20 08:29 PM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,677
niteshift Online content
Top 50 Poster
niteshift  Online Content
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,677
Fiji
Hey Deej,

Great write and a well delivered tune.

Small nit ? The vocal track is fine, but sounds a little thin. A notch up on the mid EQ and a ramp up on the vocal compression would give it more presence.

Rock on !

cheers, niteshift

#1162177 - 03/12/20 02:26 PM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,416
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,416
UK
Good one Deej.
Yes, maybe fatten up the vocal a bit.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1162188 - 03/14/20 12:11 AM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Travis, niteshift, and Vic:

Thanks for the listen, kind comments and feedback. Christian is handling the yeomanís chore on the mix, but Iíll relay the suggestion regarding the vocal tweak. Glad everything else seemed to work for you.

Stay well all of you!

Deej

#1162367 - 03/24/20 03:15 PM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,612
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,612
Texas
Hi Deej and Christian:

An exceptional collaboration. Welcome to JPF, Christian... let's hope we hear more from you soon... and Deej is the perfect guy to introduce you to us. I liked everything I heard and believe it has real commercial potential somewhere out there in the music world.

All the best, ----Dave

#1162371 - 03/24/20 10:47 PM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,078
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,078
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Oh yeah! Love this. Have you thought of some background oohs in the chorus? That could add some oomph more than just fattening the vocals in my opinion.

#1162402 - 03/26/20 12:33 AM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Dave and Gavin,

Thanks for stopping in. Christian puts together some wonderful music . . . I should really get around to posting a few of the other things I've done with him. But I'm glad you liked this one.

Gavin, actually I never thought about laying in back up vocals on this one, and I'm not sure why. But you're right, it would bring a whole layer of depth to that chorus that may be missing. Something I'll have to think about revisiting. Your comment is spot on--the song would be the better for it. Thanks.

Hope both of you are safe and healthy in these troubled times!

My best to each of you,

Deej

#1162438 - 03/27/20 11:43 AM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 337
ckiphen Online content
Top 500 Poster
ckiphen  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 337
- Select One - houston, texas...
Great job! killer song.

#1162500 - 03/28/20 05:20 PM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,481
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,481
Ohio
Hey Deej,

This is a killer melody and great lyrics too. I like your performance too. For me this is a classic Southern Rock vibe song which was the birth of Country Rock IMO. No nits with the production, but I thought it might be worth exploring making your song's title more powerful and relatable to the lyrics. My thought/idea is establish in the first verse "she's like a burning sun." In the next verse use "like a burning sun." For me, "In the Burning Sun" doesn't express the song's theme as well--let that title be a "metaphor," not a place.......I know you state in the last verse she's a burning sun, we need that earlier--but JMO. Use/lose/explore.

Great song Deej, I really like it!

steady-eddie

#1162539 - 03/29/20 07:37 PM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 985
IronKnee Offline
Top 500 Poster
IronKnee  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 985
Hawaii
Hey there Deej....this has a smokin' Allman Bros. mood to it. Great flow and a great write.
And it was mentioned that Waylon could have nailed this one......I agree. This appeals to all the country rockers in the room.
Good stuff!
-Tom

#1162559 - 03/30/20 09:57 AM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 747
ant Offline
Top 500 Poster
ant  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 747
California
Nice tune, I like the build on the chorus. Strong lyrics overall but it seems a few lines could be stronger or at least more unique/clear.

>They knew it but they loved me all the same.

Wanted something stronger than "they knew it"? They hated me? They knew I lied? They called me cruel?

>find a cooler place from a still hot her

"still hot her" was a little suprising but "next to her" comes in the next line and it felt like it shoudl be one or the other, not both.

great job!

..ant


Stream my album "Out On The Road" at Spotify, Soundcloud and Apple Music.
#1162915 - 04/09/20 01:55 AM Re: A Burning Sun [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Carroll, Eddie, Tom and ant:

Thanks for the listens and suggestions. Much appreciated.

Eddie: The more I listen to this song, the more I think you have the right of it. I have saved "She's a burning sun" to the end, but I think it's better that I use that the first time, for the reasons you've stated. If I get around to re-doing this one, I'll make that change.

ant: Some good food for thought. On the first point, I'm somewhat limited given the syllables I have to work with . . . your alternatives are overall better descriptions, but not sure they fit within the space I have. That's somewhat why I landed where I did. But it's still worth exploring to see if there's a better option. I was also worried about "still hot her" immediately preceding "next to her"--using "her" too closely together twice. But I was comfortable the two lines embodied different thoughts, so that they worked despite that. But maybe worth revisiting again. Thanks for the very thoughtful comments.


My best to all of you,

Deej


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
jonwillhick, Gigi2, FrancisFung, satyre, Quella
21266 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics120,374
Posts1,132,265
Members21,266
Average Posts Daily31
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"You really shouldn't listen too much to your positive press or your negative press. Both are probably inaccurate. But if you find you must heed the opinions of others, why not choose the 80% who love you?" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
robsoncompositor (57)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0