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#1126321 - 04/06/17 11:49 PM Under Stone  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Ricky Layne Offline
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Ricky Layne  Offline
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Oregon
I posted this as a 1+1 but I don't think I ever posted this version with production...

https://soundcloud.com/subspacefreq/under-stone

How is the mix? (and any other comments welcome)

UNDER STONE

I'm a man with an unrealistic goal
Eternity
As time breaks me down I'm facing a new
Reality
Mortality

Words for my engraving
Here lies a man who needed saving

A young man still argues with my soul
To spite me
As sunset brings applause from all the stars
A finality
That bites me

The speed of the trains increasing
And I can feel my tracks descending
Take me home
Take me home
Under stone

I'll be waiting for the masters key
While some pretty weeds grow over me
All my feelings they will suspend
In the garden next to my friends
Until we breathe again

The beat of my heart's decreasing
Kill the machine that keeps me dreaming
Take me home
Take me home
Take me home
Take me home
Under stone

Words on my engraving
Here lies a man who needed saving

#1126325 - 04/07/17 08:15 AM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,416
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
What's not to like?
Love the lyrics.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1126338 - 04/07/17 07:43 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Feb 2005
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Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
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Texas
I've been trying to find time to give this "interesting title" a listen... and I was not disappointed. Your lyric was intriguing and the melody has a "folkish" aire to it... and to me, quite special. After listening, it made me start wondering how I would have arranged it... and I doubt if I could have matched your creativity. Well done. Best of luck with it. ----Dave

#1126339 - 04/07/17 07:54 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
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Posts: 6,894
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
This is awesome, Ricky. Interesting and fresh lyrically, it's nicely produced and I was so glad you didn't go the way of a dirge musically. Good work.

Ricki

#1126353 - 04/08/17 09:37 AM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Ricky,

Wow, this is beautifully done, hats off to you !

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1126368 - 04/08/17 09:10 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Posts: 3,481
Ohio
Ricky,

What a wonderful concept and beautiful lyrics with a great melody & rhythm to this song. Cool harmonies that really give this song great build. Any sugs from me........you know I have to have at least one, but only a sug not a nit. On the ending epitaph, you might consider a short interlude or longer pause separating those last lines to empower the very last line.

Well done!

steady-eddie.

#1126378 - 04/09/17 09:31 AM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 123
Toby Barns Offline
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Toby Barns  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 123
Central Illinois
Nice "unconventional" lyrical phrasing.

Really nice finger-picking.

Melody, harmony, production - awesome!

#1126399 - 04/09/17 06:52 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Deej56 Online content
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Deej56  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,245
Ricky,

Just wanted to chime in and add my voice to those above--really strong tune, musically, lyrically, everything. Love the guitar work. Thanks for sharing.

Deej

#1126565 - 04/13/17 03:57 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Ricky Layne Offline
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Ricky Layne  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Oregon
Vic --- Thanks!

Dave --- Thanks for taking the time. I had the guitar riff for a few years before figuring out how to put a vocal melody to it. "Creative" is kind of how this turned out in the end. For example I really like the G to B in the verses....sounds different to me but works. Thanks again!

Ricki --- I had the music first on this one and I know it doesn't match perfectly with the dark lyrics...but I agree with you in that it doesn't have to sound sad. Just a man that is resolved to his end. (many are reminded of Dust In The Wind by Kansas for obvious reasons with the guitar picking but even the lyrical content is pretty similar...) Thanks!!!

Eddie --- Thanks for the comments! Glad you liked it. As I mentioned this was a back burner song that finally got finished. Thanks for the sug too. I think I can hear what you mean and it might be easy to fix that. I'll give it a try...

Toby --- Definitely unconventional in spots. Thanks for the compliments !!!

#1161797 - 02/24/20 08:12 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,168
Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,168
Awesome,kind of 70's singer songwriter ish. Really nice song with a great sound!

#1162069 - 03/04/20 05:23 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,675
glynda Offline
glynda  Offline

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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,675
Princeton Texas
Love this song very much and your voice..great all around..

glyn

#1162509 - 03/28/20 09:14 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,481
E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,481
Ohio
Ricky,

Sounds good man, I'm a bit rusty on the 1st version--but enjoyed this much.

steady-eddie

#1162536 - 03/29/20 07:18 PM Re: Under Stone [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 985
IronKnee Offline
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IronKnee  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 985
Hawaii
Hey There Ricky....so good to see / hear you. It's been a while, and it seems you've been practicing!!
Great guitar playing...and a very nicely written song. I enjoyed the vocals, too!
Love the whole production, man!
-Tom


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