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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 113
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 113 |
This is a lyric inspired by a true story.. a couple true stories, actually, that I combined. Set in the holler my mother grew up in.. Coal Branch Holler, in Logan, WV.
c2019 Lori Lorenz
V1 We rode our bikes up that old holler road Hell bent for leather and 15 years old I followed you up where the old asphalt slides You popped your last wheely and went over the side When they brung you up you was battered and broke Like that old greasy chain and that rusty old spoke They carried you down to the main road again My handlebar tassles just waved in the wind
Cho The mouth of the holler will swallow you whole That dark haunted river will rumble and roll You'll stand on that mountain like Moses is kin Till the mouth of the holler spits you back out again
V2 Your mama sat by you from dusk until dawn Her teardrops left stains on the suit you had on She kept trying to warm up your hands with her own No one could get her to leave you alone They lowered you down in your cold muddy grave The grief knocked her off of her feet like a wave The first shovel full drew a low mournful cry For the last of her babies to live brief and die
Cho The mouth of the holler will swallow you whole That dark haunted river will rumble and roll You'll stand on that mountain like Moses is kin Till the mouth of the holler spits you back out again
V3 Now I'm 40 years older than I was that day My mountains are steel, not boulders and clay I stand at the top eye to eye with the Man And ask him why you were the sacrificed lamb
Cho The mouth of the holler will swallow you whole The deep muddy river will rumble and roll You'll stand on that mountain like Moses is kin Till the mouth of the holler spits you back out again
There are no more new frontiers.. We have got to make it here
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
A fine lyric. I was imagining Bobbie Gentry doing this as I read but it would suit a number of others.
Vic
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Lori,
Nice job with this one as well--good story, some really great lines in the lyric. In the reading, the line "The grief knocked her off her feet like a wave" didn't quite resonate for me and felt more like a filler line to maintain the rhyme . . . but in the context of the music it might work just fine. Just something for you to think about as you move towards putting it to music. Really strong lyric--I'll look forward to hearing the musical version.
My best to you,
Deej
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 113
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 113 |
Thank you, yes I have an acapella work video for this one as well, I'll try and post tomorrow
There are no more new frontiers.. We have got to make it here
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 169
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 169 |
Wow Lori. I really liked this. The story is great and you put it in a song with great lyrics. Can’t wait for the finished product.
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096 |
There's nothing to critique here Lori.
What's not to love about this from my POV.
Geneva
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