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#1161576 - 02/15/20 02:24 PM Crimson Red  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 342
ckiphen Offline
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ckiphen  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 342
- Select One - houston, texas...
Crimson Red
Verse
The sun bled like a wounded beast
Lying down to die;
Surrendering to the night,
to stars and candlelight.
Chorus
Lay me down, lay me down
upon this burning bed.
Lay me down, lay me down
on sheets of crimson red.
Verse
To sail until the ship goes down
In the stormy seas;
Resolutely close my eyes
while god and I make peace.
Chorus
Lay me down; lay me down
upon this burning bed.
Lay me down, lay me down
on sheets of crimson red.
Verse
Please kiss my lips just one more time,
Sing your lullaby.
Hush sweet lover please donít cry
Just let me say goodbye.
Chorus
Lay me down, lay me down
upon this burning bed.
Lay me down, lay me down
on sheets of crimson red.
Verse
Letís have no regrets, no sorrow,
No more tears tonight.
Transgressions not withstanding
Iíve made a mess of life.
Bridge
Iíve let you down; shattered dreams
And Iíve broke your heart.
The tragedy of my life
is a work of art.
Chorus
Lay me down, lay me down
upon this burning bed.
Lay me down, lay me down
on sheets of crimson red.

#1161579 - 02/15/20 02:59 PM Re: Crimson Red [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,428
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,428
UK
This reads well.
Very poetic.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1161597 - 02/16/20 12:34 PM Re: Crimson Red [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 342
ckiphen Offline
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ckiphen  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 342
- Select One - houston, texas...
Thanks Vic

#1161659 - 02/19/20 12:13 AM Re: Crimson Red [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,250
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,250
ckiphen,

It's a strong lyric . . . among the best I've read from you. My only suggestion might be to change the title to "Lay Me Down". It's repeated often enough that I think it would become the hook in any arrangement, and it conveys the message of the song a bit more. Not much else I would change--though you might need to tweak here or there depending on the arrangement musically. Always tough to tell just reading a lyric.

Nice work on this!

Regards,

Deej


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