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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
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2nd of 2020 - kind of a roll for me lately All feedback is greatly appreciated. Stop Wasting Your Time (Have A Good TIme)Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker (c)2020 David S. Becker Music All Rights Reserved https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/stop-wasting-your-time-have-a-good-timeINTROVERSE 1Often times it hits you As the dam begins to break You chart your course The rear-view falls behind You wonder if the time is right To find the road to take Or watch the cracks engage And fall in line PRE-CHORUSThe Jersey shore is waiting And the Kiwis are on your mind CHORUS(Hit the road Jack) (Throw the gear in back) (You're wasting you're time) I'm wasting my time (Forget the plan man) (No one will give a damn) (It isn't a crime) I'll have a good time VERSE 2It's getting hard to breathe When life gets in the way Best-laid plans Rarely satisfy If I risk it all and fumble Well who will save the day Will love ones end up lost And high and dry PRE-CHORUSCHORUSBRIDGEI've got to go I've got to leave I've got to see What's there for me The time is now It just can't wait Another day It may be too late CHORUS x 2
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,990 Likes: 15
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Love the sound your're getting. You're putting alot of different textures into your songs lately, great guitar work, and catchy chorus.
My favorite part? The Bridge, I would love to hear the whole thing done with that feel and sound, so cool and attention getting.
But I like it as is. Lets pray for peace came on after, nice folk tune!
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 02/13/20 11:54 AM.
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
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I'm with FD. Love the sound. Great song too. To me the chorus felt more like a pre-chorus. Musically, it feels like it's building to something. The pre-chorus felt more like the chorus. I've got a feeling it would sound even better if you swapped those around and maybe added two lines to the chorus (previously pre-chorus). Just a thought. I really like it as it is.
(Hit the road Jack) (Throw the gear in back) (You're wasting you're time) I'm wasting my time
(Forget the plan man) (No one will give a damn) (It isn't a crime) I'll have a good time
The Jersey shore is waiting And the Kiwis are on your mind Two more lines
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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You're a soul man, Dave. Kept the interest there in the arrangement. Shades of Ray Charles in the chorus. Personally I'd like a bit more melody but maybe that's old style, like me.
Vic
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
Serious Contributor
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Posts: 230 |
Hi Dave,
Love the guitar in this one - it's got a great "funk" style - I especially like the vocal delivery - you pack a lot of emotion in it. Very well produced also.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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Hi Dave You continue to create first class songs, I enjoyed the listen, great soulful sound Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Feb 2013
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@Fdem … thx for the listen. I have been attempting to create more diversification in the various parts of my tunes, especially on my last two writes. Hopefully, that is coming through. Thx for the Lets Pray for Peace comments, as well. I try to re-listen to that tune every new years. Anymore than that and I grow tired of it.
Dave
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Morning, Dave:
Sorry I'm late. I enjoyed my listen after I had first read the "words." Lots of clever, subdued and subtle lines in each verse and supporting parts. From my place on the lower rung of the music ladder... I would spend more time experimenting with this song, trying different backing, fooling around with seeing how it works in different tempos, etc. ...but I would not do much in the way of changes to the lyric. Best of luck with your music. You bring so much to JPF and I wish you tons of success. From a marketing viewpoint... have you ever considered using the one-name title "BECKER?" I think it might open some doors for you... but I'm frequently wrong. LOL!
Thanks for sharing, ----Dave
P.S. ...I'm usually a bit slow on the downbeat... but is Gocart Moz another way of expressing "Gocart Mozart?" Forgive my curiosity... but it's the reason behind my fame and wealth! (If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell!)
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Dave,
Really slick song—infectious guitar rhythm and beat you have going. Love the guitar in that bridge. And a great write. Very impressive work!
The one thing that struck me was going with the harmonies on the first two lines of each verse—a different, maybe unconventional approach that I think works here. But wondering what lowering the volume of the harmony in those lines would sound like? As it stands they are pretty much on the same level . . . but then again, maybe that was your aim. Another alternative might be to go with the harmonies on the last two lines and open with just the lead vocal. Really just comes down to preference and artistic choice. Of course, it sounds great as it stands.
My only other suggestion might be not to fade out too quickly on that last chorus and at least get through one chorus before fading out. That too comes down to preference . . . so use or lose as you see fit.
Killer track!
Regards,
Deej
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