Who's Online Now
14 registered members (Dave Rice, Gavin Sinclair, couchgrouch, GocartMoz, Irwin, AntonyRobWells, Everett Adams, 3 invisible), and 533 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Mimmo
Mimmo
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 142
Joined: August 2018
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Sometimes (You Gotta Go Home)
by Dave Rice. 02/17/20 11:06 AM
Stop Wasting Your Time (Have A Good TIme)
by Dave Rice. 02/17/20 10:50 AM
Child Of Nova - Instrumental
by GocartMoz. 02/17/20 10:29 AM
DRINK WITH ME. DEEJ & Travis. ( updated)
by Travis david. 02/17/20 10:22 AM
Not really a Blog, but something I'm doing
by Dave Rice. 02/17/20 10:03 AM
Somewhere South of Nowhere. Vic
by Vicarn. 02/17/20 09:41 AM
The Same Sun Shines On Us All
by Gavin Sinclair. 02/16/20 10:00 PM
low tide
by John Paragreen. 02/16/20 07:44 PM
New Add to Playlist
by joyceonthekeys. 02/16/20 04:21 PM
A Master Of Reason And Rhyme
by Mackie H.. 02/16/20 12:24 PM
Crimson Red
by ckiphen. 02/16/20 11:34 AM
What will be will be
by ckiphen. 02/16/20 11:32 AM
Fiver anyone?
by Dave Rice. 02/15/20 01:55 PM
Darker side of me
by ckiphen. 02/15/20 01:05 PM
The Millionaires club
by ckiphen. 02/15/20 12:59 PM
Without You
by Gerry. 02/15/20 09:35 AM
Does this seem legit?
by Colin Ward. 02/14/20 05:41 PM
URGENT! Our Site is being shut down on JAN 31st!
by ben willis. 02/14/20 05:32 PM
Time for me
by ckiphen. 02/14/20 04:40 PM
Wave of the future in music…
by John Lawrence Schick. 02/14/20 03:07 PM
NEW MEMBERS CHECK HERE
by Brian Austin Whitney. 02/14/20 08:42 AM
Songwriter Seeking Co-Writers
by niteshift. 02/13/20 10:09 PM
ASCAP International Royalties...
by John Lawrence Schick. 02/13/20 08:19 PM
The Human Spark
by Fdemetrio. 02/13/20 10:47 AM
Runaway Train
by Marvin Adcock. 02/13/20 05:51 AM
VA Beach busking
by DeMoni. 02/12/20 07:34 PM
I Am Not My Song!
by Dayson. 02/12/20 06:45 PM
Old Navy Footlocker
by couchgrouch. 02/11/20 07:08 PM
JPF Donations Honor Roll
by Brian Austin Whitney. 02/11/20 12:17 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,815
Travis david 11,725
Kevin Emmrich 10,589
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,600
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,659
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,908
couchgrouch 7,671
Dave Rice 7,523
Corey 7,357
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,568
Vicarn 6,290
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
niteshift 5,587
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,653
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,372
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Roy Cooper 4,189
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
nightengale 4,092
TamsNumber4 4,075
MFB III 3,902
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,814
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,561
E Swartz 3,447
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,022
DukeWill 1,988
maccharles 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Fdemetrio 1,771
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Martin Lide 1,651
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,603
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,462
GocartMoz 1,462
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Deej56 1,157
Gerry 1,148
lane1777 1,145
summeoyo 1,126
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
9ne 889
90 dB 888
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
Dayson 774
teletwang 762
Andy K 744
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
Irwin 634
Pat Hardy 625
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
Moosesong 609
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 562
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 496
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1161346 - 02/03/20 09:14 PM Reborn To Run  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,462
GocartMoz Online content
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,462
Florida
My first of 2020. Thx for giving it a spin and offering some feedback if you can ...

Reborn To Run
(c)2020 David S. Becker Music
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
Produced, Arranged & Performed by David S. Becker
All Rights Reserved

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/reborn-to-run


INTRO
VERSE 1

I felt my soul explode
As the needle hit the groove
Spinning round and round
My feet became unglued
I remember when I heard that sound
A crashing sonic boom
And not before too long
I'm dancing round the room

PRE-CHORUS
(I think he's finally found
What he's looking for)

CHORUS
(He's been reborn to run
His robotic days are done
The stirring in his soul looms large
His boredom's overcome)

VERSE 2
I heard a story told
And the seeds well they were sewn
A blast of energy
And it cut me to the bone
I remember that my heart it raced
With a pulsing, jarring drone
A chaotic panoply of words and sounds and tone

PRE-CHORUS
CHORUS

BRIDGE
At times I'm feeling high
At times I'm filled with lows
A dissonance subsides
Behold the afterglow
A harmony so pure
A sad beloved refrain
A soothing melody
Can wash away the pain

INSTRUMENTAL
PRE-CHORUS
CHORUS

#1161354 - 02/04/20 10:57 AM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 958
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 958
Conover, North Carolina, USA
This rocks. Love the melody, the performance and the production.

Do you think it might be even better if you changed up the bridge a little? It's different from the verse but feels very similar. Maybe vary the line length and see where that takes you? Something like this. Just thinking out loud - it's great as it is.

Feeling high
Then feeling low
Dissonance gives way
To the afterglow
A harmony so pure
A sad beloved refrain
A soothing melody
Goodbye pain

#1161355 - 02/04/20 11:12 AM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,535
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,535
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Great production, guitar work. Some good Structural timing, short Introductory Movement, hit THE Hook within first 60 seconds, memorable contrast between Verse and Chorus.
Your title, THE Hook, the main idea of a Song, is misplaced, or simply not supported by Structural Repetition.
The other Lines in your Chorus are obscure, abstract ideas that aren't clearly enunciated when I hear them, and hard to comprehend as I read them as being meaningful to the "Reborn To Run" concept.
A Repeat of the "Reborn To Run" Line to end the Chorus could be very effective. That would give you two 'hits' on THE Hook per giving of the Chorus.
Reading, there's some confusion of the 'I', First-Person Singer-Character, and the 'he', a reference to someone else by that Singer-Character as being the one who is 'reborn'.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1161363 - 02/04/20 04:18 PM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,771
Fdemetrio Offline
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,771
With that title, you BETTER deliver.... lol

Id say you have. Your verses are great, sound, guitars.

Looking at the critiques, I think what your going for is to not be predictable where the song is going, which is a good thing.

I think you have to listen to it several times to get used to it, which is probably a good thing too.

You have a garage pop feel in the verses, a steeley dan pre chorus, and a metal or grunge chorus.

Like all the nuances going on, You got some brilliant ideas, for commercial purposes, it might help to keep them unified, but As I listen a few times, Im liking it more and more

Excellent sound and musicality...

#1161382 - 02/05/20 12:09 AM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,157
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,157
Dave,

Love when you post a tune . . . I know I’ll always hear something fresh and compelling. Not a disappointment here. Is it me or is there a Bowie feel to this one on your vocals, particularly on that pre-chorus (yeah, which also has a Steely Dan vibe to it).

The production hits all the right notes (no pun intended!). The changes throughout worked just fine for me, as does the bridge, moving into that nice guitar solo. I get what Gavin is suggesting regarding the bridge, but I wouldn’t change anything.

Love the abrupt finish—cool ending.

Great stuff, Dave!

All my best,

Deej

#1161389 - 02/05/20 09:11 AM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,290
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,290
UK
Certainly moves along, Dave.
A tribute to rock.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1161397 - 02/05/20 03:53 PM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,523
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,523
Texas
Enjoyed my listen, Dave:

You never disappoint. Best of luck with it.

----Dave

#1161433 - 02/06/20 04:14 PM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,462
GocartMoz Online content
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,462
Florida
@Gavin … Thx much for the thoughts. Definitely some things to think about. I appreciate the spin.

@Gary … Thx for the spin as well. I had actually thought about ending the chorus with the title, as well. Maybe I should rethink it. Appreciate all your comments. Food for thought.

@Fdem … I definitely intended on mixing genres in the various parts of the song - especially making the chorus a bit harder edged than I normally do. Honestly, I don't hear the Steely Dan influence in the PC, but as I am a big Dan fan, I appreciate the comment.

DeeJay … THx, as always for the listen. Not sure I hear the Bowie in this either, but also a Bowie fan (early Bowie), so I appreciate the comparison. Funny enough, my band is opening fot a Bowie tribute band at a Regatta outdoor event here locally. I intend to stay and listen to the main act and get my Bowie fix.

@Vic … thx much for the listen. Always enjoy your thoughts.

@Dave - thx as well for stopping by and giving this a spin. Always appreciated.

Dave

#1161477 - 02/08/20 01:20 PM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,603
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,603
Baltimore, MD
Outstanding Dave.
Really enjoy your guitar work throughout and you have a sweet over all mix going on here.

What drum program did you use?

#1161501 - 02/10/20 10:32 AM Re: Reborn To Run [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,462
GocartMoz Online content
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,462
Florida
Thx much for the listen Nelson. Much appreciated! The drums were programmed with Logic x and it’s’ internal drummer software

Dave


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
ellekene, sonusingh, DeMoni, Rich Murray, Vince Vinnie
21255 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics119,829
Posts1,129,214
Members21,255
Average Posts Daily31
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If you choose the right rut to get stuck in, you'll enjoy the journey the whole way, regardless of the final destination!" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Oriel (34)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0