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#1160941 - 01/24/20 02:49 PM The Slower You Get  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,901
Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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The Slower You Get
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13980906
Used to catch you lookin
yeah you know who you are
look down and then look up
when Im walkin passed the bar
now, I just keep walkin
and wonder where you went
that nickel game with Dennis
seems like money better spent
Now I sing a lonely lullabye

The slower you get
the faster the women walk bye
the sweet scent of a woman
aint no good reason why
but somehow it happens
as in the blink of an eye
The slower you get
the faster the women walk bye

Sir you dropped your keys
Huh, whats that I heard
this girl she looked familar
why she talkin so absurd
can ahair line make a difference
should I pull my gut in more
I aint eatin any differently
wear the same belt as before
Now I sing a lonely lullabye

The slower you get
the faster the women walk bye
the sweet scent of a woman
aint no good reason why
but somwhow it happens
as in the blink of an eye
The slower you get
the faster the women walk bye

So I went an ran the forty yard dash
which I used to do in 4.3
timed myself at Six
and Im beginning to see

The slower you get
the faster the women walk bye
the sweet scent of a woman
aint no good reason why
but somwhow it happens
as in the blink of an eye
The slower you get
the faster the women walk bye

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 01/25/20 10:39 AM.
#1160942 - 01/24/20 03:29 PM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,606
Gary E. Andrews Offline
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Gary E. Andrews  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,606
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
I've just listened to this and a couple others. You're exploring far and wide. That's a good thing.
I recommend getting the pronouns in there, the 'I', and 'I'm', the 'actor' to do the 'action' of the verbs.
I always recommended examining a Lyric to see if you can elminate 'and' or 'but' or 'cause' as Line openers. You can unclutter a Line in your mouth to sing it, leave a space to breathe, and the Line can be just as effective without them, most of the time.
Keep exploring. Song possibilities are endless, even after thousands of years of Songwriting.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1160943 - 01/24/20 03:36 PM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Oct 2017
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Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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Originally Posted by Gary E. Andrews
I've just listened to this and a couple others. You're exploring far and wide. That's a good thing.
I recommend getting the pronouns in there, the 'I', and 'I'm', the 'actor' to do the 'action' of the verbs.
I always recommended examining a Lyric to see if you can elminate 'and' or 'but' or 'cause' as Line openers. You can unclutter a Line in your mouth to sing it, leave a space to breathe, and the Line can be just as effective without them, most of the time.
Keep exploring. Song possibilities are endless, even after thousands of years of Songwriting.


Thanks Gary, the song is meant to be a calm panic. So it's sung ina rushed fashion. Just a rough demo.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 01/24/20 03:42 PM.
#1160982 - 01/25/20 10:40 AM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,901
Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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Broken link fixed

#1161133 - 01/28/20 07:30 PM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Fdemetrio Online content
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Lookin for feedback on this as a song, not a track....

#1161158 - 01/29/20 01:05 PM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,472
E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Posts: 3,472
Ohio
Fd,

Man you are prolific here lately on the Mp3 threads! I need to get my butt in gear and post a song--working on three, just hard to get the time to finish productions......as I don't have the liberty of being retired as of yet and biz travel supersedes studio time.

Another nice tune, and one many sad middle aged men will relate to for sure, and I'm sure the ladies can relate conversely. Nicely written, and again very good potential IMO.

steady-eddie

#1161160 - 01/29/20 02:51 PM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,364
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Posts: 6,364
UK
It works. Laid back feel. Nice.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1161172 - 01/29/20 07:08 PM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,901
Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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Originally Posted by E Swartz
Fd,

Man you are prolific here lately on the Mp3 threads! I need to get my butt in gear and post a song--working on three, just hard to get the time to finish productions......as I don't have the liberty of being retired as of yet and biz travel supersedes studio time.

Another nice tune, and one many sad middle aged men will relate to for sure, and I'm sure the ladies can relate conversely. Nicely written, and again very good potential IMO.

steady-eddie


Thanks Eddie. I hear ya, my issue is im not a good enough engineer to make a great recording. Even with tech. I have a love/hate relationship with technology. It allows me to do what I want to, if I can, when I want to. But it also limits me to only what Im capable of, whereas other people/musicians could broaden my reach.

I always considered myself the songwriter of a band, probably a garage band, not as much as a singer/songwriter. I wish i was able to write good songs back in the days when I had band members around.

#1161173 - 01/29/20 07:09 PM Re: The Slower You Get [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,901
Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
It works. Laid back feel. Nice.

Vic


Thanks Vic.


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