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https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal/six-demo

Six

Ev’ry night was a gamble
She never knew what she’d get
Cos she paid the cost, each time he lost
At Milwaukee roulette
It was the sting of his knuckles
Or the stink of his kiss
Now and again, it was both of them
When he drank a whole six

And six was the number
Short of lucky seven
Six was the number
Below the grace of heaven

Her skin bore haunted rainbows
Of yellows, blacks and blues
But fear would fade, like a lighter shade
Meant a healing bruise
He’d bragged his old revolver
Packed a plow mule’s kick
That night she knew, he died with two
But she still fired all six

And six was the number
Short of lucky seven
Six was the number
Below the grace of heaven
Look closely on the road to hell
Cos the devil’s in the details

She could’ve laid him in fire
Let the four winds be his urn
But bein’ down, in the cold, cold ground
Was a slower burn
She knows mem’ries and shadow
Are midnight’s oldest tricks
So the howlin’ wind, just can’t be him
Cos he’s down a deep six

And six was the number
Short of lucky seven
Six was the number
Below the grace of heaven
The road to hell is bricked
With another six
Six
Six….


©2006 Greg Cox/Robert George

Impressive Demo, Robert:

Great story line... interesting title and melody. All the right elements. Best of luck with it.

----Dave

Thanks, Dave.

Nice song.
Reminds me of "the night the lights went out in Ga.". or "The Thunder Rolls".

Love the sentiment here... for some reason it struck my funny bone...

"She knows mem’ries and shadow
Are midnight’s oldest tricks
So the howlin’ wind, just can’t be him
Cos he’s down a deep six"

Nice production

I really enjoyed this. Very acerbic lyrics, well crafted. Merry Christmas.


Regards,


Bob

I've never heard one of your songs that I didn't love..and this one is another great , great song of yours..enjoyed it..

glyn

This one definitely has the right rhythm and feel for the lyric! Good one Grouch!

Thanks, folks.

Well, I was going to comment, but Ill leave that to your own comment.

"Country music's bad. It's always been bad. Corny crap played
and sung by the best singers and musicians"
Couchgrouch (http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/1160583/todays-country-music.html#Post1160583)

I don't think you know what "corny" means, as the previous comments demonstrate. And, let's be honest, FD, you couldn't have written this if your collection of
Springsteen underoos depended on it.

I wouldnt want to write this, does nothing for me. Now i dont know what corny means, you're hilarious.

YOU made the comment, not me. It made me wonder why you write country music if it all sucks, or as you say
"Country music's bad. It's always been bad. Corny crap played
and sung by the best singers and musicians" couchgrouch circa 2020

I also said the occasional great song came through. I'm also not limited to country. I can write well in a number of styles, you can't write well in any style. This song may not do anything for you ( so you say), but the fact remains, you have
neither the skill nor the talent to weave a three vs lyric into a hook used four ways with a relatable theme (again, see previous comments).

I posted this lyric on the Net, a composer saw it, liked it, organized the demo session and here we are fourteen years later. That's the apotheosis of a site like JPF.

Unfortunately for a person without talent, like yourself, you're
fated to blather your views, never once experiencing what it's
like to write something decent.

I'm not sure how my comment about country even relates to this song. It's not even a view that's unique. Read the notes to Townes Van Zandt's 70s albums released on one cd. But it doesn't matter. You have no leverage with me. No credibility. You can't write.

Doesn't Clarence Clemons have a dvd coming out? Go watch that. Forget about me.

Hey Couch,

Great song mate. Tight music and even tighter lyrics. I would like to hear backing vocals in the chorus to lift it above the verses, but that's a minor nit.

Great job !

cheers, niteshift

Hey Grouch... You must admit, sometimes the argument is a lot of fun. If it did absolutely nothing for FD then why did he bother to comment?

After all these years, arguing with people who pack a six ounce punch isn't much of a thrill. Claiming rock and roll is alive and well because of the Chesterfield Kings? Haha!!

And I'm not sure what the problem is...if I told my dad Big Band music was dead, he'd think I was stating the obvious. There are probably pockets of it here and there, but it's basically extinct.

I stated the obvious about country, too. How many great country albums are there, aside from greatest hits? Very few.
There's Guitar Town and No Fences. That I'm aware of. Matraca Berg's two cds are wonderful but they're not really Nashville product. Therein lies the problem. There are so many producers, publishers and writers involved in Nashville music, creativity is smothered.

FD got hives from my other comment, found the first song of mine he could and posted on it. I've written some corny stuff, but this isn't it. Hell, I'd rather have co-written this than that forgettable Chesterfield Kings song. Or that bland love song by Mold Dominion.

Why did Couchgrouch bother saying "Country music's bad. It's always been bad. Corny crap played
and sung by the best singers and musicians"
Couchgrouch (http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/1160583/todays-country-music.html#Post1160583)

Ironic isnt it? Have you figured out why I bothered to comment now?

The guy has been making comments like this forever, he STILL believes only he has talent, nobody else does, Including legends of music.

And if you havent noticed, hes here saying it, in tinseltown, JPF. I have no ill feelings, I find the arguments funny, funny how somebody can be the way he is, it makes me wonder if he REALLY thinks this about himself, or, hes TRYING to believe it and by repeatedly saying it, it becomes true, or worse case scenario, he BELIEVES his own assessments.

Whatever the case, you came in very late to the party chief.

But your understanding of rock n roll is well frankly, bad. The business of rock n roll is dead, agreed. The business of all music is dead in fact. Pop, Country, what the hell happened. That does not mean people are not writing and recording rock n roll, its just nobody is hearing it. YOUR definition of dead is nobody is any good.

The Beatles, Stones, The Who, are other wordly. They were rock n roll but so much more than that, they were great songwriters. We know this. Does this mean nobody else has a right to make music?

Rock n roll was born out of Yakkity Yak Dont talk back. The Chesterfield Kings are an amazing rock band that understands the tradition. But they are one of thousands of bands still doing it. Rock n Roll is fun music, nothing over the top, not something you learn at Julliard.

The Ramones were perhaps the greatest real rock n roll band of all time. When you consider what rock n roll really is, Ok early Stones moreso.

You can have your likes and dislikes, but dont try to make rock n roll something it isnt. If you knew better youd understand that some of these groups are really good.

And Im dying to hear your rock music, lets go post it.

Hey, he's back!! Devoting his time to dissecting my posts and rebutting my.views. Except his words carry no weight. Decades on these sites, trolling, getting banned, changing his name, coming back in a different guise. Not a single good song to show for it.

Sad that.

Where are your good songs? See anybody can play the game of,you posted this, so its not good, but I posted this so it is.

You really think this is a great song? DOHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you say authentic-not! As believable as your other songs-yes! I mean cmon, who would give a rats about this story?

See anybody can do this, aint it fun?

Hey FD,

May I remind you that the mp3 forum is for song critique. If you are unable to critique a piece, then shut the f@ck up.

If you have a personal beef with someone, then take it else ware.

We're here to write and produce music of ALL genres. It's not about "liking" any particular song,

Try studying music production. That might help to calm you down.

no cheers, niteshift.

Wel... I've been saying for decades now, fame and fortune is the problem. If that’s your primary motivation then that’s what’s going to show in your writing... you’ll never be any better than the other 90%. Then you have to face the fact that not everyone is "STAR" material to begin with! Most of us are just out here to entertain each other gentlemen.... Lol

Well said JAPOV,

If you can't behave in a civilised manor FD, it is time to leave the building.

I do Ok with music but I'm not famous. Should I ever become so, I can assure you, you will not be on the guest list.

cheers, niteshift

That is hilarious, niteshift. Made my night. To be fair, though, if you really want the manor to be civilized, you would certainly have to move that grotty old couch out of the building too. It lowers the tone.

Actually, you'd probably have to move me out too, after that

Journey vs Destination... Attainment vs Struggle... Wisdom vs Argument...

When and how did we all become so afraid to be confrontational? Why are some people so afraid to be different? How can censorship and segregation possibly be the answer? Why do we all comparatively seek justification through each other?

Personally, I'm glad we’re all different. If we weren’t, then self-righteousness and greed wouldn’t be so obvious, or even dangerous... We would all just simply agree

Ha ! , good comments guys.

I always like a debate, but not a mass-terbate.

Now, back to our regular programming........

cheers, niteshift

EXACTLY. Nightshift is too much of a puzzy to say anything to Couchgrouch. Of Course he started the whole thing, in one shape or another.

FD,

I critique without fear or favour. I suggest you may do the same.

I started what ? Your manner and temperament need to be brought into line.

no cheers, niteshift

Pay no attention to the troll, folks. They live for the attention.

Here is another song I found:


https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal/annabelle


I really like this one.


Regards,


Bob

Thanks again, folks. And I've always been proud of Annabelle. That was one of the first songs I thought really worked.

Hi CG - production-wise this is really good - has all the required elements of top 40 country IMO.
TBH I found the lyric was a bit too clever for this genre - the listener shouldn't have to "process" what a phrase means too much or he loses the story line and can't catch up to the tour
But I'm just a dumb canuck so ignore me at will
Paul

Now what do I think of your suggestion? And have your brought me into line? Im wondering this also.

And you cant even follow, so read before you speak.

Hi Paul and thanks for your comment. I've heard similar views over the years and my take on it remains the same. I have tried to push lyrics as far as they can go, or at least as far as I can take them. That's been my goal. Some have said, "oh, that's gonna mess up the listener, it's gonna confuse them."

Fine.

I've always disagreed with that. Whether it's music, plays, movies, books, tv...the audience has always responded positively to increasing complexity, as long as it's done with elements that are relatable.

For this song, it's not a phrase, it's a single, simple word in a very simple chorus. Double entendres have been a part of creative writing for thousands of years. There's no reason a quadruple entendre wouldn't draw a listener back to a song. People like subtext. They like movies and shows that reveal things on repeated viewings. Why not a song?

There are also writers who keep it surface level, do it well and make a fortune. Everyone does what they can do. But it's a fact, if you try to push forward, people will attempt to hold you back.

Couch,

I really am digging this song--like it a lot with first listen. I also agree with you that pushing the lyrics for cleverness is a cool thing to do--not an easy task when you're telling a rhyming story at times. That is part of your artistic personification. Having said that many simple lyrics may seem simple, but conversely, "good simple" isn't always easy either. The average person listening doesn't IMO always expect to get the song's every meaning with a first listen--and isn't that why the melody train has to be damn good to get them back? You have great melody here and most listeners will enjoy the song more when they learn/grasp the lyrics. If they never get it 100%, not a big deal either. When writing more "abstractly," you can actually get away with the listener not getting the song, cause they probably never will--I'm still trying to figure out some Beatle's later music lyrics & even Dylan's "My Back Page's lyrics!"

I know these songs from your Wabash Cannonball album are final produced. But if you were taking this back to production, I'd like hearing a more pronounced/dynamic drum track, which seems the last few years to become a more common production element. Another good song Couch!

Peace,

steady-eddie

Hi Eddie. I agree, my co-writer's melody is damn catchy. It's been years but I don't think I heard a worktape for this, I heard the demo and was mighty pleased, I can tell you.

Yes, simple and good is very tough. Try writing I'm on Fire. It'd be a challenge.

"Clever" comes up often when I use a hook multiple ways, but that's not how I see it. I see it as a matter of depth and layers, as a kind of synchronicity to the story.