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#1158738 - 11/20/19 10:08 PM Her Heart is Just a Legend /Chorus Changed  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
John W. Selleck Offline
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
NJ
Brand new ink, written in about 20 minutes from a hook, sorta, out of a book I am reading by Dean Koontz. The line was "The stars were just legend" but I liked the legend idea so here it is:


Her Heart Is Just a Legend

Her heart is just a legend
No one knows the source
Rumored to be hooded
Riding a pale horse
It doesn't match her beauty
Light and full of grace
All innocent and joyful
Of evil not a trace

Her heart is just a legend--------} Chorus
She's broken many men
Deceived by the outside
They always let her in
Be careful of her love
It comes at quite a cost
Her heart is just a legend
Your soul will soon be lost

4 Bar Turnaround

I saw her across the room
Admirers all around
A small voice deep inside
Soon they'll be hell-bound
I hardly ever hear it
But now I'll take it's word
Warned away from danger
A startled little bird

Her heart is just a legend--------} Chorus
She's broken many men
Deceived by the outside
They always let her in
Be careful of her love
It comes at quite a cost
Her heart is just a legend
Your soul will soon be lost

8 Bar Instrumental Break

Her heart is just a legend--------} Chorus
She's broken many men
Deceived by the outside
They always let her in
Be careful of her love
It comes at quite a cost
Her heart is just a legend
Your soul will soon be lost

Her heart is just a legend
Your soul will soon be lost

Copyright 2019 John W Selleck BMI

Last edited by John W. Selleck; 01/16/20 07:32 PM. Reason: lyric change.

Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost

http://www.soundclick.com/johnsings
http://www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
http://www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
#1158772 - 11/21/19 03:13 PM Re: Her Heart is Just a Legend [Re: John W. Selleck]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Posts: 13,325
Louisiana
i like this John,those women were always the one you wanted most.Mike

#1158776 - 11/21/19 03:30 PM Re: Her Heart is Just a Legend [Re: John W. Selleck]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
John W. Selleck Offline
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
NJ
Hi Mike,
Thank you. Great to hear from you. And yes, guys go for dangerous women just like women love bad men.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost

http://www.soundclick.com/johnsings
http://www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
http://www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
#1158803 - 11/22/19 05:15 PM Re: Her Heart is Just a Legend [Re: John W. Selleck]  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,027
Marty Helly Offline
Marty Helly  Offline

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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,027
Florence, MA, USA
Feel like the message comes across in the chorus but not necessarily in the verse.
Since the lines don't actually have a subject, the reader has to fill them in to be clear which direction you're going.
Think about it like adding the subject to each of the statements:

Her heart is just a legend that no one knows the source
Her heart is rumored to be hooded, riding a dark horse
Her heart doesn't match her beauty
Her heart is light and full of grace
Her heart is all innocent and joyful
Her heart - of evil not a trace

Not suggesting these as a way to reword, just how the meaning can come across the way its worded now.
Think about how to reword to get the intent of the last three lines clear:
She appears light and full of grace
She appears innocent and joyful
But of a heart there is no trace.


Last edited by Marty Helly; 11/22/19 05:16 PM.

Marty my home

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again!
#1158809 - 11/22/19 06:35 PM Re: Her Heart is Just a Legend [Re: John W. Selleck]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
John W Selleck Offline
Serious Contributor
John W Selleck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
Hi Marty,
Thanks for the visit and the suggestions. I have a co-writer working on the music for this right now So I won't be changing much. I assume people can get the subject from the original line. The subject of the second line is the legend, the3rd/4th her heart. The 5th-8th lines are the same about her beauty not matching her evil heart. I know you shouldn't have to explain songs and if I get more feedback saying they didn't get it I will take a closer look. The other thing I keep to, very closely, is meter, and sometimes to keep meter, you have to fit the words to that pattern and still keep the meaning. This one meters pretty well. Thanks again.

#1160647 - 01/16/20 07:33 PM Re: Her Heart is Just a Legend [Re: John W. Selleck]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
John W. Selleck Offline
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
NJ
.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost

http://www.soundclick.com/johnsings
http://www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
http://www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
#1163309 - 04/17/20 01:13 PM Re: Her Heart is Just a Legend [Re: John W. Selleck]  
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,471
RogerS Offline
Top 200 Poster
RogerS  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,471
Dearborn, Mi
Hi John,

Glad to see some of the original people on this site still,lol. Been away for awhile myself. I'm lookikng forward to the music. I think most everyone can relate to the song--at one point or another we have all known that girl you're talking about. Or the other way around. Very well done. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music

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