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#1160381 - 01/07/20 10:58 PM FireFlies  
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 59
AntonyRobWells Offline
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AntonyRobWells  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 59
Chelmsford
V1)

I can feel the weight of gravity surround me like a beautiful colour, beyond magic, beyond science, I am adrift it's vast ocean,

Keeping the planets spinning, like a ballet of time and space, the universal keeps me in my place, but it's you that puts a smile on my face.

And wind soars across the Mountains and into my empty lungs, as my heart and mind entangle as your words are sung, not whispered,

And my essence of being is without definition, just the day I find you to describe my meaning, to make me believe what I'm seeing.

I watch the sun shoot over head like a bottle rocket, and hang like a moon, until the end of the calm and placid afternoon,

V2)

I will run faster than light, out of naked sight, to reach your door, I will scream louder than a star exploding, to say it's you I adore,

I will not believe in any gods until we are no longer at odds, I will only believe in you, and myself, until we are not someone else,

Let the earth spin on it's axis, it's just good practise for the day we meet, and it's shoots out of orbit, into the great unknown, and we can be alone together,

And no robber will steal the affection of my soul, no digger will dig at the feelings I crave, just waiting for the moment you fly past to save me,

C)

We are fireflies in the dewy night sky, I can hear your cry from a thousand miles away, I can see the sea of love in your eyes, brighter than the vanilla skies,

And no man will tell me anything less than you'll be mine and we'll out shine the stars, and the future will be ours, as we break open the bars,

We are fireflies across the desert landscape, until you hold my hand there is no sweet escape, just a lonely ape,

And no god will tell me I have any other purpose than to chase you down, and fly with you on wings of light out of this crazy town.


Thanks,
Antony R Wells
#1160434 - 01/08/20 07:31 PM Re: FireFlies [Re: AntonyRobWells]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,620
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,620
UK
I was reading this like a poem until I realised it had verse and chorus so I assume it's a song. Interesting.
Worth persuing.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1160435 - 01/08/20 07:39 PM Re: FireFlies [Re: AntonyRobWells]  
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 59
AntonyRobWells Offline
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AntonyRobWells  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 59
Chelmsford
Thank you. Yeah it's sort of a love song. No music to it yet, would need a lot less lyrics I guess.


Thanks,
Antony R Wells
#1160453 - 01/09/20 02:40 AM Re: FireFlies [Re: AntonyRobWells]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,026
John W. Selleck Online content
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John W. Selleck  Online Content
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Posts: 4,026
NJ
Hi Antony,
You have plenty in your love story that could be made into a song, but yes, too many words. For an easy lyric layout, open any of my lyrics and see how they are set up, average number of words in a line and in a verse/chorus, bridges, where to put in turnarounds and instrumental breaks, setting up a hook, etc. For almost all songs, you need to have a repeated hook in a song to get your audiences attention, and for them to remember your song, and it is almost always in the chorus. If you are going to use a bridge in a song, it should be different from your verses and your chorus, either melodically, or in meter. I hope this helps.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
#1160489 - 01/10/20 10:01 AM Re: FireFlies [Re: AntonyRobWells]  
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 59
AntonyRobWells Offline
Serious Contributor
AntonyRobWells  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 59
Chelmsford
Yeah thanks. Yeah and I can see what you mean. I do write more normal songs on guitar. I tend to get lost in the details when writing just lyrics. They end up like mini-novels lol. Thanks for your advice.


Thanks,
Antony R Wells

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