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#1160283 - 01/05/20 12:06 PM So Breathe  
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Deej56 Offline
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Hi, all:

I posted a guitar-vocal version of this song well over a year or so ago . . . here's another take with the help of BIAB, largely just adding a cello and some strings (and better guitar playing, lol!). I'm not sure I'm completely done with it, but I'm also not sure what more (or less) I'd want to do with it . . . so it stands for now. As always, appreciate your feedback and suggestions. Hope you enjoy the listen (or re-listen, as the case may be)!

SO BREATHE

I should have known it long before
from the quiet ways you seemed
to hold your breath.
I feel so bad it felt so wrong
to share this secret
youve so closely kept.

Did you fear I would never love you as you are?
Did you think I wouldnt be the friend I was before?
Well, relax, you know it now.
So breathe.

All the jests and droll asides
how you hid yourself
behind your smiles.
It makes me sad to realize
I never really knew you
all this while.

Did I say something unforgiving or unfair
to betray the trust I made you doubt was really there?
Well it was, and it will always be.
So breathe.

I'm sorry I was blind,
that I could never see . . .
in the who I thought you were
the who you're meant to be.
And I just want to let you know
I'm so glad youre finally free.

Did you fear I wouldnt love you as you are?
Did you think I wouldnt stand beside you all the more?
Well, relax, just close your eyes.
Sit back, your future's open wide . . .
So breathe.

(c)2018 DJ Lekich

Last edited by Deej56; 01/05/20 12:11 PM.
#1160289 - 01/05/20 02:30 PM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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Still loving that voice DJ!
Some of the pauses in this seem a little odd to me... but Iím sure thatís just a matter of style smile

#1160291 - 01/05/20 02:41 PM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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Martin Lide Online content
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Sincere and heartfelt sound.
Lovely lyrics.

I suggest taking the guitar down a little when the strings come in. I think that the mix will have a better flow.

Martin

#1160295 - 01/05/20 03:06 PM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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What a gorgeous lyric. Really special. Love the vocal too. There were fleeting moments when I was reminded of Neil Diamond. I get what JAPOV is saying about the pauses. There were some parts where I felt like I was waiting a little too long for the next line. If the lyric hadn't been so powerful, my attention might have wandered.

This is really great, Deej!

#1160318 - 01/06/20 10:38 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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Morning, Deej:

This is a perfect marriage of words to melody... sewn up tightly by that unique vocal you possess. I have no qualms about the sometimes pregnant pauses... because, to me... they only add emphasis to the point the writer is attempting to make. It does not always work... but here, I believe it did. Consider raising the volume of the melody at those intervals... if it lends "feeling" to the song. (But you already knew that, didn't you! LOL!)

Enjoyed very much and am grateful BIAB exists to allow those of us without massive Big Label backing to strive for success with our songs. Our friend Zaneski has certainly taken that medium to new heights.

Well done, my friend.

----Dave

#1160346 - 01/06/20 07:08 PM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Refreshing is the word.
Well done on this one, Deej.
I like the gaps but maybe a few less would increase the anticipation effect.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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#1160349 - 01/06/20 10:49 PM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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Hi Dave
Another great song from you and that very unique voice you possess.
The lyric I like a lot I hope the song soares for you.
I'm still trying to work on lyrics I think will work out for hopefully another collab but nothing to tempt you with as yet.
Happy New Year and all the best for 2020 ,
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1160387 - 01/08/20 01:10 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: JAPOV]  
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Thanks, JAPOV,

Really appreciate the listen and the kind words on the vocal. As for the pauses, see my note to Gavin below, who had a similar comment.

Hope all is well in your world,

Deej

#1160388 - 01/08/20 01:11 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Martin,

Great suggestion, and consistent with some other feedback suggesting the fingerpicked guitar was a bit too prominent. I've hopefully corrected it in an updated version, assuming it took. Thanks for the listen!

My best to you,

Deej

#1160389 - 01/08/20 01:19 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Gavin (and JAPOV),

Yes, the dilemma I had putting this into BIAB was the tempo. It's actually a bit slower than when I play it on guitar--but oddly enough after doing this I've come to the conclusion I play it too quickly live. But I digress.

Some of the delay in deliver of the lyrics is driven by melody and tempo, while in other spots it's a bit intentional. For example, in the first verse, I intentionally hold back on "hold your breath" and "closely kept" to keep them in rhythm and accentuate the near rhyme . . . if that makes sense. Though I know stopping on "to" and "so" seems unorthodox. But even if I upped the tempo . . . not sure it would much change the delivery or the stops on those two words.

I toyed with upping the tempo on the BIAB version to minimize some of the delay (and may still try it one day). But then the fingerpick guitar seemed to rushed and busy . . . so I settled here. And ultimately I'm comfortable with the pace. I'm hopeful the lyric and the pauses are sufficient enough to keep interest as to what comes next.

Thanks again for the careful listen and thoughtful feedback.

Regards,

Deej

#1160390 - 01/08/20 01:23 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Dave Rice]  
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Dave,

Good to hear from you. Hope you came well into the New Year! Some great suggestions as well, as always. I tweaked the mix tonight, but neglected to address your sound comment about upping the volume in the intervals. I agree that should help. I'll do that when I dip back into the tune.

I'm not so slowly becoming a big fan of BIAB. It will never make my tunes sound truly professional . . . at least not at my skill level. But it allows me to better convey what I want the song to sound like, far beyond my meager musical skills. And so hopefully something that can be more appreciated, despite the flaws. Technology is an amazing thing!

Kind regards to you as well, my friend,

Deej

#1160391 - 01/08/20 01:25 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Vicarn]  
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Vic,

Thanks . . . a nod from you always makes me feel good. See my note to Gavin on the delays. I may have to think about bumping the bpm up two or three in the next go round, but time to set this one aside and move onto the next venture. Your feedback resonates as always.

Hope you had a great holiday,

My best to you,

Deej

#1160392 - 01/08/20 01:28 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Travis david]  
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Travis,

Thanks, buddy. My plate is clearing up, so belly up to the desk and get writing! How about something that rocks a bit, eh? I feel like starting the new year off with a bang!

Cheers!

Deej

#1160398 - 01/08/20 10:34 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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niteshift Online content
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Fiji
Hey Deej,

Beautiful. smile

cheers, niteshift

#1160403 - 01/08/20 11:14 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Originally Posted by Deej56
Gavin (and JAPOV),

Yes, the dilemma I had putting this into BIAB was the tempo. It's actually a bit slower than when I play it on guitar--but oddly enough after doing this I've come to the conclusion I play it too quickly live. But I digress.

Some of the delay in deliver of the lyrics is driven by melody and tempo, while in other spots it's a bit intentional. For example, in the first verse, I intentionally hold back on "hold your breath" and "closely kept" to keep them in rhythm and accentuate the near rhyme . . . if that makes sense. Though I know stopping on "to" and "so" seems unorthodox. But even if I upped the tempo . . . not sure it would much change the delivery or the stops on those two words.

I toyed with upping the tempo on the BIAB version to minimize some of the delay (and may still try it one day). But then the fingerpick guitar seemed to rushed and busy . . . so I settled here. And ultimately I'm comfortable with the pace. I'm hopeful the lyric and the pauses are sufficient enough to keep interest as to what comes next.

Thanks again for the careful listen and thoughtful feedback.

Regards,

Deej


Hey Deej,

I didn't make myself clear. The tempo is just fine in my opinion. The pauses I was referring to are what seem like extra bars where you aren't singing. An example would be after "behind your smiles" in verse 2 or "hold your breath" in verse 1. The way you hold back on "hold your breath" and "closely kept" works great.

Writing this reply to your reply gave me an excuse to go back and listen again, which was a good thing. Not that I need an excuse. I love it.

#1160413 - 01/08/20 12:56 PM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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beechnut79 Offline
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Style reminiscent of the slower ballads produced during the British invasion of the 1960s. Even detect a bit of a British accent. Dramatic song.

#1160523 - 01/12/20 01:25 PM Re: So Breathe [Re: Deej56]  
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PaulCanuck Offline
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Hey Deej - sweet song.
Reminded me of Bread from way back in the 60's.:)
Good hook - well positioned. Great lyrics and vocals.
That suspended 4th that never seems to get resolved adds nicely to the drama.

A song to be proud of I'd say smile
Paul

#1160824 - 01/22/20 02:07 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: niteshift]  
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Thank you kindly, Nite. Glad you enjoyed it.

Deej

#1160825 - 01/22/20 02:12 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Gavin,

Thanks for the clarification. I'm not sure there's much to be done about those breaks. While this is a tad slower than the G/V I had originally posted, those breaks exist in the original . . . just the way the song plays. But I'm hopeful, as it seemed to be for you, that the lyric and melody is strong enough to keep the listener's interest, and that the payoff in the end makes it worth while.

As an aside, I'm redoing this one. I got a lot of feedback on the BIAB fingerpick guitar that makes me think it just doesn't fit. So I'm going to muster up my courage and play it myself the way I wrote it. It won't address the breaks in the vocal, but I'm hopeful it will soften the lead guitar and make the tune a bit warmer. Just need to find the time.

My best to you, friend,

Deej

#1160826 - 01/22/20 02:14 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: beechnut79]  
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Thanks, beechnut,

I have an odd way of pronouncing my vowels at times when I sing--at least I think so--which might unintentionally give it a British feel--particularly when I'm singing a bit more slowly as in this one. Thanks for giving this one a listen and chiming in. Much appreciated.

Regards,

Deej

#1160827 - 01/22/20 02:18 AM Re: So Breathe [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Paul,

Appreciate your giving this one a spin and the kind comments. Wow, a Bread reference--they put out some awesome tunes; haven't heard one of them in a long time. I'm not musically proficient enough to understand your suspended 4th reference, but it seems like it was a good thing, LOL! Thanks again for the listen!

All my best,

Deej


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